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  • Feb 23, 2009, 02:32 PM
    IdNeko
    How do I deal with this?
    My girlfriend, of two years, and I recently broke up. She had gone off to college and didn't have time for us anymore, the distance grew so great that I had to fight a war just to get her to call and say. "Hey babe." So I broke it off but said I wanted to remain friends. She recently contacted me out of the blue and we talked for a bit, the conversation almost immediately jumped to how she has a new boyfriend and how great he is and how he's this and that and blah blah blah. She just kept going on and on about him completely oblivious to my attempts to change topic. I said I'd be her friend so I'm trying to be happy for her, but I just really want to scream at her to shut up. What should I do?
  • Feb 23, 2009, 02:36 PM
    spitvenom

    Don't answer her calls emails text etc... The entire lets still be friends thing does not work.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 02:45 PM
    chrissymarie

    She's trying to rub her "happiness" in your face because you dumped her. If she really cared about this new relationship she wouldn't try to brag to you about it. The relationship probably isn't that great if she feels the need to tell you about it in detail. She;s using it as a way to get you jealous and mad. Don't spend time trying to figure out her games.

    The best thing I can tell you is to be honest with yourself and be honest to her about how you feel. All these games will get you no where.

    Just tell her... you broke up with her because she wouldn't make time for you and that you really cared about and loved her. Also that you really do not want to hear about her and this new man she's spending the time you wanted with and if she respects you and your feelings she won't brag to you anymore because you miss her.

    I promise it will change her tone. End the games and start being real before you lose her for good. She contacted you because she still cares.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 02:47 PM
    Justwantfair

    Congrats on your effort, but there is a definite reason that when you go NC you do not end up being friends... here is the reason.

    If she doesn't understand that the friendship isn't ready for "new" boyfriend talks then she is pretty oblivious. You don't need that kind of friend, that would be that inconsiderate of your feelings.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 02:50 PM
    JoeCanada76

    Rubbing alcohol in your eyes. Not good.

    I think no contact is important and in many instances just being friends after a relationship is not always possible.

    Tell her the truth. You are happy for her but you do not need to hear every detail. I think she only contacted you to rub it in your face and it is time for you to close the door to this opening.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 02:54 PM
    IdNeko

    Thank you all, that helped shed some light on the subject.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 07:39 PM
    liz28

    You don't have to be friends with her in order to make her happy because you owe her nothing and she is your ex. I mean who is looking out for your happiness because she sure ain't and it seems like she wants to turn your world upside down more than anything. She sounds like a person that always wants her way and your just another person giving it to her.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 07:45 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by IdNeko View Post
    My girlfriend, of two years, and I recently broke up. She had gone off to college and didn't have time for us anymore, the distance grew so great that I had to fight a war just to get her to call and say. "Hey babe." So I broke it off but said I wanted to remain friends. She recently contacted me out of the blue and we talked for a bit, the conversation almost immediately jumped to how she has a new boyfriend and how great he is and how he's this and that and blah blah blah. She just kept going on and on about him completely oblivious to my attempts to change topic. I said I'd be her friend so I'm trying to be happy for her, but I just really want to scream at her to shut up. What should I do?

    You've defined yourself as a friend, and girls tell friends all about their new boyfriends. She would probably be shocked to find out that her revelations upset you. After all, you are a friend, right??

    What should you do? Total NC. You're not her friend, nor is she yours.

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