Ask Me Help Desk - Verbally abusive engagement

I have been in a verbally abusive relationship for almost 4 years. I didn't realize it until about a year and a half ago... I thought it was just me. This man was very nice in the beginning, always buying me nice presents, and wanted me to try and better myself. He likes having titles (ie. Pilot, boat captain, officer in the military, etc.), and he always threatens to take his nice presents away. We have dogs together and we were engaged... I have finally made the break and he has moved out. It seems at times that it is a mutual breakup. We try to be friends and share the dogs, however, it is like a roller coaster ride. I can't do it anymore. He threatens me often about going to court, and he wants his ring back. I feel helpless and I want to beat him at his own game... What is the law in Florida about returning his ring and how do I go about proving being in a verbal abusive relationship?

Okay, first off who gets yelled at and doesn't reply? Unless you are demure and choose not to "fight back" you need to list some of the things that this gentleman has said. Because a verbal relationship is not just a one way street. So, let me know what kinds of things he has said and I can give you more of my opinion.

Cheers

Hello Sid:

The Florida court in Gill v. Shively, 320 So. 2d 415 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. 1975); on April 19, 1974, the appellant/donor gave the appellee/donee a diamond engagement ring worth $3,620. Two weeks later, the appellee said she did not feel she was ready for marriage. The appellant brought a replevin action for return of the ring. His complaint was dismissed. The court of appeal reve rsed. It held that the ring was not an absolute gift but was conditioned on the consummation of the marriage. The condition failed. Thus, appellant had a valid cause of action.

What that says is the ring is a CONDITIONAL gift. If the condition (marriage) isn't met, then the "gift" must be returned.

Other states have different rules.

excon

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnglishSolution

Okay, first off who gets yelled at and doesn't reply? Unless you are demure and choose not to "fight back" you need to list some of the things that this gentleman has said. Because a verbal relationship is not just a one way street. So, let me know what kinds of things he has said and I can give you more of my opinion.

Cheers

This is the legal board and the legal information is what counts, not the personal advice.

What "he" said and how/why do not legally matter in this situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sid13

I have been in a verbally abusive relationship for almost 4 years. I didn't realize it until about a year and a half ago...I thought it was just me. This man was very nice in the beginning, always buying me nice presents, and wanted me to try and better myself. He likes having titles (ie. pilot, boat captain, officer in the military, etc.), and he always threatens to take his nice presents away. We have dogs together and we were engaged...I have finally made the break and he has moved out. It seems at times that it is a mutual breakup. We try to be friends and share the dogs, however, it is like a roller coaster ride. I can't do it anymore. He threatens me often about going to court, and he wants his ring back. I feel helpless and I want to beat him at his own game...What is the law in florida about returning his ring and how do I go about proving being in a verbal abusive relationship?

The nature of the relationship does not matter. The Courts are not set up to "beat" anyone on their own game. The Courts are set up to make people whole.

The ring goes back to him - the ring was given to you in exchange for your promise to marry him.

As far as any other gifts, assuming they were unconditional, they are yours.

The roller coaster relationship should be posted on one of the relationship boards as it's not a legal question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

This is the legal board and the legal information is what counts, not the personal advice.

What "he" said and how/why do not legally matter in this situation.

Yes and no, Judy. I think the first response was on the right track in some regards, because it seems the OP is going to use "verbal abuse" as her grounds for not returning the ring. Otherwise, she wouldn't want information about how to prove she was being verbally abused.

As for the rest, I agree whole-heartedly. I still don't understand why anyone would want something that would be a constant reminder of their ex, with the exception of monetary gain... but that never happens, now does it? ;)