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-   -   I am confused. Am I a lesbian? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=320446)

  • Feb 21, 2009, 11:39 PM
    ReeseLynn18
    I am confused. Am I a lesbian?
    I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years... our relationship is up and down and he doesn't do anything but play video games and sits around. Yaaa...

    I go out once a week with one of my friends... And whenever we go out and start getting a little bit of alcohol in our systems she starts like flirting with me. She is straight also so I'm extremely confused. She always hugs me and tells me how good my hair smells. She always puts he hands threw my hair, and is always rubbing my leg. Im not going to lie I really feel attracted to her, and I get really nervous around her. She kissed me on the cheek the other night and I grabbed her hand, and she was like I like when you hold my hand.. and later on I patted her leg to get her attention and she said.. I like when you touch my leg.. lol! Ah!. We text everyday all day and I don't know its just really confusing because she talks about this guy she likes a lot so I really don't get what's going on.. any ideas? Thanks for your time
  • Feb 22, 2009, 12:19 AM
    neverme

    Maybe your bi... maybe she is too. A friend of mine firmly believes that we are all to some degree bisexual.

    Or maybe you just aren't too impressed by the relationship your in, maybe she's bored.

    Maybe, maybe, maybe...

    Doesn't really matter though because your in a relationship, make a decision on that and we'll talk.
  • Feb 22, 2009, 12:57 AM
    Peanuts825

    Maybe you just have low self esteem, and the way she is doing you is making you feel a little better about yourself.. but don't do nothing your going to regret.. if you's try out that relationship, it could ruin your friendship
  • Feb 22, 2009, 01:37 AM
    ReeseLynn18

    Also every week we go out she wants me to stay the night with her. She usually ends up spooning me and says I'm a good cuddler.. I don't know if she wants attention or what
  • Feb 22, 2009, 09:28 PM
    talaniman

    Stop drinking alcohol with her, and see if the behavior changes. Drinking lowers inhibitions in people.
  • Feb 22, 2009, 09:32 PM
    neverme

    Ask her.

    'Do you think you might be bi?'

    At least then you can see what her reaction is.

    She may or may not have dealt with this herself or maybe ( and I HATE to use this because it is usually just used as a 'get out of jail free card' ) but maybe... it's a phase... There! There I said it, but don't think it didn't pain me! :)
  • Feb 23, 2009, 12:05 PM
    ReeseLynn18
    She has never been with another girl before.. neither have I(hence the post) =) I like her that's why I get nervous and I'm just confused about it. I don't want to approach her because I don't want anything to be akward with our friendship... It's funny because when our guy friends comeout they say that they don't want to hang out with us anymore because her and I just pay attention to each other, and that we are always flirting with each other. My friend and I talked about it and we just laugh about it.. so I really don't know what to think.

    Also she is always texting me "i love you", and when guys hit on me she is always like "isn't she so gorgeous" . I don't know maybe I am just thinking too far into it..
  • Feb 23, 2009, 12:45 PM
    slapshot_oi

    Well, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is much of a catch and your pal is giving you all the attention that your boyfriend isn't.

    I think anyone would like that.
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ReeseLynn18
    also every week we go out she wants me to stay the night with her. She usually ends up spooning me and says i'm a good cuddler.. i don't know if she wants attention or what

    The one girl I know that openly admits to bisexuality does this with her sorority sisters. She is sex crazed and will get it wherever and with whoever.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 04:17 PM
    neverme

    Slapshot, your not insinuating all bi people act this way are you?
  • Feb 23, 2009, 04:32 PM
    liz28

    I had a friend that did the things your friend is doing to you but the only things is that she wasn't never drunk awhen she did these things and I knew she was bi.

    Your friends is surfings up feelings that you never knew was thing and now your learning about yourself and found something that your curious about and that is okay and have human nature. Little by little your opening to the idea about being with a woman and maybe the alcohol is giving you courage to fall through on those feelings but even if the alcohol isn't in your system the idea is.

    However, you must know the pro's and con's of engaging in sexual actitivies with a friend because it can put a strain on it. I did this with one of my female friends about two years ago and whenever I am around her it makes me feel umcomfortable whenever she brings it. And I don't consider myself bi because I never did it again with her or any other female for that matter. It was just a night of curosity.
  • Feb 23, 2009, 08:27 PM
    Ash123

    You are not Bi.

    You are young, sexually healthy girls who are experimenting in a semi-drunk way. Society has encouraged female intimacy and women themselves share intimacy and communication by their nature anyway

    Soft skin... nice hair... soft voice... what's not to like... But it's not going to steal your soul. Your video playing boyfriend won't either :-)

    As you grow up you'll find guys that are ready to be men and I'm guessing you'll like it! And the girls... you can hug them all you want, just don't do something when drunk and decide it's your orientation.

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