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-   -   Confused heart. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=320298)

  • Feb 21, 2009, 03:53 PM
    glamorous42410
    Confused heart.
    So I am engaged to a 29 year old man that I have been with for almost a year and six months-things have been good for us, we have had a few major fights but we know this will be our future. Anyway I recently began falling for my best friend of three years when we were on the phone one night-hes been in love with me for a year and a half, then even more recently I have began falling for (at least it feels like it) one of my friends from college who happens to be a marine. I have never cheated and I have no intentions on it-some days I feel like my fiancé is my special someone, but other days it feels like he's not. I need advice I'm 18, a senior in high school and don't exactly understand how this stuff works...
  • Feb 21, 2009, 04:37 PM
    DSM521
    In my opinion you are to young to be getting married. Your thoughts are normal for an 18 year old girl. You have a lot of living to do yet. The chances of getting married so young and that marriage lasting are not good.

    You may be in love with your faïence or you may be in love with the Marine or your best friend. You are to young to know for sure. You will change so much over the next few years. What you want know may not be what you want when you are 25.

    I think you need to do some living, date other people and see what you really want and need in the person you will spend the rest of your life with.
  • Feb 22, 2009, 02:57 PM
    N0help4u

    You are too young because you are so unsure of what you want.
    You are letting your feelings run rampant and so as often as your feelings change the more confused you get. You need to take a good hard look at everything for what it is. What things make you feel your fiancé is your someone special? What makes you feel he isn't? What are the things you feel attracted to by the other guys? What do you feel is realistic? Like do you see yourself happy with your boyfriend years from now? Do you think you would be better off with somebody else?
    Either you are not ready for a relationship or your fiancé just might not be the right one for you. You need to weigh the pros and cons and take it from there, but you need to figure it all out to be fair to your boyfriend.
    Sometimes it is more important to focus on commitment than emotions we all have ups and downs on how we feel toward others and it is usually really how we are feeling toward ourselves and reflecting it on others, Otherwise something may just be trying to tell you he is just not the right one for you.
  • Mar 12, 2009, 12:55 PM
    88sunflower
    OH girl, don't get married at 18. Maybe 100 years ago being married at 18 was a wonderful thing. Today, there are so many influences and choices to be settled so young. I know you feel in love and excited to be that beautiful bride. But your having feelings for other guys. If you were truly in love and ready for marriage you wouldn't have anything but friendship feelings for other guys. Being a bride is a wonderful thing, the first time. The second time its not as special. Wait until its right. I was 23 when I got married and I still think that's to young. You know why? I have changed so many ways and now we are on the verge of divorve.
  • Mar 12, 2009, 01:02 PM
    JoeCanada76

    If you have a confused heart, you need to step back and your very very young to want to get married. At the same time were you ever forced into engagement or pressured? If not, that it was your own decision you need to also be able to make a decision whether you want to continue with the engagement or not. No matter what anybody says it is your own final decision which obviously your confused about. Just because your engaged does not mean you have to get married. You need to find out for yourself whether these other people could be loves of your life or not. It makes it harder knowing somebody else feels that way about you especially when you have committed to somebody else.

    Just do not rush into anything with anybody...

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