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-   -   Dumped and confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=319831)

  • Feb 20, 2009, 11:05 AM
    love85
    Dumped and confused
    I have been dating this guy 7 Months.. He lives in a totally different state than me. We went to school together and three yrs later (not seeing him) he txted me stating he had always had feelings for me but never had the nerve to ask me out. I don't believe in LDR but, of course fell for him. He is mid 20's and I am relatively his longest relationship. I have really put myself out there with this guy telling him things I have never told him. I never really felt like he gave the same. When I asked him about it he said that all of his gfs has just talked he only listened so he never had to express himself so it was difficult for him. He felt like I put too much pressure on him in that sense but I just wanted to connect more since we lived so far from each other. He dumped me two days ago stating that he could never be the man he wanted me to be. He feels insecure with himself with me. He says I need a better man because he can't meet my needs. He has always said I am way too hot for him.. but I don't feel that way.. I really just wanted him and loved him deeply. I don't get it. A week ago he was telling me how much he loved me and missed me but now this. I know the distance made it even tougher. He also said that loving someone is knowing when to let them go to make them happy. Im not happy though! I told him loving someone is making it through thick and thin. He then stated he feels it's the best thing for now and for me to take care of myself. I am so sad and confused because I really wanted to be with this guy. I haven't been able to eat a bite and I am usually an emotional binge eater--but not with him. It takes a lot to make myself fall but I fell hard for him. What should I do if anything? Is he really over me that quickly? :confused: Do you all think he will come to his senses and try and get me back?
  • Feb 20, 2009, 11:16 AM
    artlady

    LDR's take work and a lot of commitment. Maybe it was just to hard for him. He did not want to put in the necessary effort.

    Men aren't great in the communication,I want to share my feelings with you game.

    Men are people of action and words are not enough.

    He may have met someone that answers his immediate need to connect on a physical and more substantial level.

    Texting and chatting is not love.Love is an action.You had a romantic friendship at best.

    I think you need to move on,as painful as they may be ,as he is just not feeling what you are.Don't rely on what he said last week,rely on what he said the last time you spoke.
  • Feb 20, 2009, 11:59 AM
    Romefalls19

    Not all men aren't good at the communication game, I have come along way with communication and LDR are tough work and not for a lot of people. Take this time to heal yourself as you will find peace in time.
  • Feb 20, 2009, 01:20 PM
    MiSSsy111222

    Sounds like this guy has made up his mind. Don't try and fight for a relationship which is one sided. Trust me it won't work. Best to try and move on, cut contact and work on yourself.
  • Feb 21, 2009, 05:57 PM
    talaniman

    You tried it didn't work. There will be others who will be more willing to work with you and build something special. He just wasn't the one.
  • Feb 21, 2009, 06:27 PM
    heartbroke

    Sounds like he might be involved with someone closer and didn't want a LDR anymore.

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