I don't like me, have done years of self help, counselling, real soul searching to change who I was. Is this it then, have I really got to accept that I am a nark, have no patience with my kids and am mean mouthed when not happy and getting my own way. Can I really change or is this it

You can change, in fact you already have. Being that person, you, who acts in ways you don't like is a choice. Granted, the choice is cemented in habit. Learn new habits, like being patient, even if you can do it for two minutes only at first. Learn to bite you tongue here and there instead of being mean-mouthed. Every small bit of changing, you can build on.