I was seen by a doctor the other day for having a cold. The doctor went to listen to me breathing from the front and just lifts my shirt without asking. I did not have on a bra cause I had gone there straight out of bed cause they said they could see me right away. This made me so uncomfortable, seens how there wasn't a nurse in the room at all and he didn't say anything to me and then he proceeds to listen from the back and doesn't lift my shirt in the back. And then the doctor continues to insult me about my weight and say negative things to me and ask me questions that were none of his business and made inappropriate comments. This has triggered stuff that hap pend in my past to me and has really been bothering me and I want to stop this doctor from doing it to someone else! I really need some help cause this really scared me! I need to know who I should contact!

Not sure about the shirt thing, but I would guess he assumed you had a bra on, as for as tellingyou about weight, my doctor does that all the time,

I am sorry but the doctor came in, most liekly rushed, treated you, checked you out, gave you medical advice,

So what is bothering you exactly

Yeah the doctor may have assumed she had a bra on but its still nice to ask/tell the patient first out of courtesy. I'm guessing you're american so I'm not sure if the health system is the same as australia but I'd tell the head of your doctors surgery and maybe an explanation/apology can be gained from that before you take it any higher. I know it's no excuse but he could've been having a bad day and took it out on you and didn't actually mean anything by it. Hope you sort it out x

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Originally Posted by tampamommy

And then the doctor continues to insult me about my weight and say negative things to me and ask me questions that were none of his business and made inappropriate comments. This has triggered stuff that hap pend in my past to me and has really been bothering me and i want to stop this doctor from doing it to someone else! I really need some help cause this really scared me! I need to know who I should contact!

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Get another doctor.

I wasn't in the room so I can't tell you whether you "should" be upset or whether the experience is jaded from your past.

I can tell you, from working in the medical field, that its easy... even if its not proper... to simply do what you need to do to move through the "task at hand" and not have the context of the patients state of mind involved...

I'm not saying that its right... I'm saying its possible that your doctor did nothing that he intended to be inappropriate. I know you are rattled by this experience.

The fact that you have a past that sensitizes you to this isn't necessarily something that a doctor would know, unless you tell them.

My advice is to always be your loudest advocate. Don't assume anything. A good doctor can make dumb mistakes. A poor doctor needs to know what he/she is doing wrong.

Sorry things happened this way...

Personally, when things haven't been handled right in my family, we've asked to talk to the doc afterwards. Sometimes our concerns were handled well.. sometimes it ended up with our transferring to another clinic.

As kp2171 said, without being there to hear the exchange it is difficult to know if things were truly inappropriate or just poor bedside manner on your doctor's part. Was this the first time seeing this doctor? If not, have you had concern to be uncomfortable in the past?
Could it be your past experiences caused you to be more sensitive to the situation? That would not dismiss you being uncomfortable, but may account for some of the discomfort.

I would either speak to him or his receptionist directly and mention how the way he proceeded made you uncomfortable. Give them a heads up as no doubt it would make others uncomfortable and he may proceed differently next time. It may have been something as simply not thinking on his part and just routinely listening to the heart. Perhaps he was surprised by you not having a bra on as well and that could be why he didn't then lift the shirt in the back.

Now if the exchange and comments were truly inappropriate, of an overtly sexual nature for example, you can take that to a higher level. You could contact the Florida Board of Medicine while also filing a complaint at the office.

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Now if the exchange and comments were truly inappropriate, of an overtly sexual nature for example, you can take that to a higher level. You could contact the Florida Board of Medicine while also filing a complaint at the office.

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As there was no witness to this exchange, and the doctor's actions (which I doubt were inappropriate, just hurried as most docs' are nowadays) OP has no proof that any of this happened.

The thing is that you could tell I didn't have on a bra under my shirt! I was in my pajamas! And the things he was saying to me was not right... he was asking me how much my husband weighs and what he thinks about my weight and I asked the dr if he could give me something to help me with my weight and he says "yeah, ducktape!" So he was assuming I sit around eating all day long, I just don't think he was very professional in what he did or said to me!

Sounds more like poor bedside manner and just plain stupidity. Maybe he thought he was being funny, maybe he thought he was being helpful, regardless you certainly can go back to the office and say something, write them a letter about it, or give them a phone call. There are sites as well that you could write a review on your doctor if you felt so inclined.
You always have the option of changing doctors as well and letting them know the reasons. Might make him think twice about how he comes across in the future.

This kind of reminds me of the story I read about some patient winning a zillion dollars because her doctor called her fat and suggested she lose weight.

I don't see anything wrong with him checking your heart the way he did. Most doctors don't check for heartbeat through the patient's clothes.

You should have at least put on some street clothes to go see him. Wearing pajamas was wrong on your part as this was not an emergency situation. This was just a cold you had. You could have taken the time to properly get dressed. You should have been at least grateful he did see you on such short notice as well. Also, this was not a pelvic examination he did. Do you really think your chest is the only one he's ever seen in his years of being a doctor?

The duct tape comment was unwarranted. Maybe he thought he was being "cute". You were there for a cold and not weight control after all.