Ask Me Help Desk - Do I ask this to my friend?

Hi there's this girl she's a senior. I'm a sophomore. She calls me "Twin" and I call her the same. (good right?) But I have never (I mean never except 1) had a friend at all before her. Is it appropriate to ask her the question "Am I good friend?" as in, do I fulfill the position of being a friend. She's a very nice, bright, funny, cute, smart, cheerful, and loving girl in case it affects whether to ask her. This is mainly because I don't quite know what exactly a friend does and I can't afford to make a wrong choice and lose her by either ignoring my own faults (by not asking the question) or by asking the question (and thus questioning the relationship and weakening it). :confused:

You don't need to question her, just be yourself, and enjoy the friendship. You shouldn't force anything, or weird her out with some crazy questions. Relax, and let things flow naturally.

Just curious as to why you haven't had friends before?

Just be yourself and keep doing what your doing. I think she considers you a friend already if she's spending time with you.

Relax :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You don't need to question her, just be yourself, and enjoy the friendship. You shouldn't force anything, or wierd her out with some crazy questions. Relax, and let things flow naturally.

Just curious as to why you haven't had friends before??

Just to satisfy your curiosity talaniman, From K-6th (particularly 3rd-6th) grade every person in my grade, except about half a dozen who were neutral, verbally insulted, mocked, and tormented me. I was openly insulted by many people and everyone else would laugh in turn. And I'm not talking about just playful teasing, I can take that no prob because I have an older brother. These were outright slandorous and obscene things particularly to being gay and a faggot. (which I'm NOT) I had a few hallway friends but they weren't true good friends. In 6th I found my first best friend we had pretty much everything in common. He was the only way I survived 6th grade because that was the worst year before I changed schools. Everyday, I would long for the chance to spend time with him. He was what brought me happiness. He moved 4 states away 10 months (in June) after I met him. We stayed in contact for about a year, maybe 1.5 years. But eventually the emails slowed and the phone calls became nonexistant. But, as I alluded to, I moved to a different school. There everyone was a general friend y'know what I mean. For example, I was completely amazed one day when someone actually smiled at me in the hallway. That had NEVER happened to me before. However, in this small school everyone already knew everyone for many years. So, being pretty much the only new guy, I never really found a true friend. However, I was invited to a Super Bowl party and to spend the night once. Which was A-mazing for me. This is sort of out of place in the story but, My last birthday party and last time I had been to the movies with friends (until last friday) was my 5th grade Birthday (5 years 2 months and a week or two ago). But, for high school I had three choices to go to. 2 of which would involve moving. I chose one which I will never regret because I found the greatest friends I have ever found. Just typing that sentence there makes my eyes water. I am a pretty hardy guy after going through all of that previously mentioned, so my heart could tough it out for a while. But around the end of 9th grade my fortitude was starting to fail. Miraculously and coincidentally, this girl befriended me and called me "Twin" because we merely had our braces taken off at the same time, were both in the band, both had close b-days, and we're both similar in our interests and things. I can still remember the moment, we were sitting on the stairs in the band hall when she said "We can be Twins!" I soon began hanging out with her friends and have been ludicrously happy beyond all fathomability and comprehension every time I do anything or go anywhere with these friends. But with Great Joy, Great Fear of Losing it comes. Do you see why I am so new to friendship and why I am so worried that I could lose my best friend (who by the way, is graduating this year but I'm hoping she doesn't go far). Y'see now?

She's already friends with you, so obviously you are good enough. Relax and enjoy the time you two share

Quote:

Originally Posted by specgoalie717

Hi there's this girl she's a senior. I'm a sophomore. She calls me "Twin" and I call her the same. (good right?) But I have never (I mean never except 1) had a friend at all before her. Is it appropriate to ask her the question "Am I good friend?" as in, do I fulfill the position of being a friend. She's a very nice, bright, funny, cute, smart, cheerful, and loving girl in case it affects whether or not to ask her. This is mainly b/c I don't quite know what exactly a friend does and I can't afford to make a wrong choice and lose her by either ignoring my own faults (by not asking the question) or by asking the question (and thus questioning the relationship and weakening it). :confused:

This is all stemming from your own self confidence issue. I think the problem is that YOU truly do NOT believe anyone could possibly think you are a good friend, and having that kind of mentality can ruin any meaningful relationship you try and have. In your other post on here you mapped out reasons as to why you haven't had any friends, all valid points. Children can be cruel. You are good enough to be someone's friend, and a GREAT friend at that, so the peace needs to come from your inner self, not from asking your friend if you "really are a good friend." Believe in yourself... being a friend isn't about reading a list of requirements, and doing those things. This is not a job, it is the role of YOU, and someone else liking YOU for who YOU are. Prequalifications for which you already have, are being a genuinely nice and caring person!

Just relax. You are doing fine!

Don't over think things. Over thinking leads to over reacting. As already stated you are doing fine. Just be there for your "twin", listen to what she has to say, be there when she is feeling down and happy and always be honest with your friends. If you do these things she will know how great a friend you are.