Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   I had a breakdown and pretty much begged her to give me a chance (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=318297)

  • Feb 16, 2009, 09:15 PM
    rollinstones95
    I had a breakdown and pretty much begged her to give me a chance
    Im totally and completely in love with my ex. She broke up with me because she lost her feelings for me. This is the second time I broke down and begged for her to come back to me. The first time was when it first happened and the second time just today. I asked her to just give me one last chance. And of course she didn't and just got mad. I know I need to stop bothering but its so hard to give that up. I guess my first question is How can I reverse the damage I just caused, I need her in my life whether it just be as friends. And what can I do to get over her, Im hopeless.
  • Feb 16, 2009, 09:25 PM
    Justwantfair

    You cannot reverse the damage caused by begging someone to come back to you, you gave up yourself dignity and gave them a power they should and wouldn't want over another person.

    What you can do now is NO CONTACT it is the only way to heal not only her but yourself. It is NOT a tool to get her back into your life, it is a necessity for you to learn how to be you without that person in your life any longer. You need to work on things on your own if you wish to learn from this experience and learn how to be in a healthy relationship after this.

    Please read some of the other post and the sticky about NC, you will see that a lot of people are on here going through what you are going through. Relate to the experiences and learn what you can from them.

    Continue to post if you have and need more friendship and consoling responses, but DO NOT CONTACT your ex.
  • Feb 16, 2009, 09:41 PM
    UnluckyDucky
    Sorry to hear about your breakup. Being on the receiving end of a breakup is never an easy thing and I know all too well the pain you're going through.

    That being said, the brutal reality is that you can't have her in your life as friends while trying to get over her at the same time - it just doesn't work like that when you still have feelings for her. I know you're going through some really tough emotions right now but if you want to get over her, you must completely cut off any and all contact. This is also known as No Contact or simply NC.

    This is going to be a difficult process but it's not impossible. You're not alone - we're here for you.
  • Feb 16, 2009, 10:26 PM
    neverme

    Look, dude, you've already made a fool out of yourself. It's time to let this go. It's not easy, in fact just have a look through the posts on here, they are nearly all about the varying stages of recovery, we've all had our heart broken but it will mend.

    You just have to admit it's broken now and no amount of begging-super-glue is going to fix this one.

    I'm not trying to be harsh, just sometimes we all need a boot in the bum, and I hope that when inevitably need it you'll still be here and able to give me it!

    Vent, do it here where people are like-minded and want to help constructively.

    NC is the only way.

    Best of Luck.
  • Feb 16, 2009, 10:40 PM
    MarkwithaK
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rollinstones95 View Post
    Im totally and completely in love with my ex. She broke up with me because she lost her feelings for me. This is the second time I broke down and begged for her to come back to me. The first time was when it first happened and the second time just today. I asked her to just give me one last chance. And of course she didnt and just got mad. I know i need to stop bothering but its so hard to give that up. I guess my first question is How can i reverse the damage I just caused, i need her in my life whether it just be as friends. And what can I do to get over her, Im hopeless.

    #1. You cannot reverse anything. Most likely by begging her not once but twice she has lost all respect for you. Man up and move on.
    #2. Despite what you think you do not want her as just a friend. No good would ever come from that arrangement.
  • Feb 16, 2009, 11:22 PM
    DJ28
    Yeah totally go NC man, do not even try to stay friends with her right now at all. Because in the end you will just get hurt knowing she has moved on and found someone else. Because it has happened to me and I'm going through it right now, and honestly I wish I started this NC months ago. It gets easier and easier. And you don't have to worry about what there doing or anything anymore, it feels great. Because really if you wait and stay friends with her and if she finds a guy, oh man it will tear you up real bad. Honestly I have never been in so much pain like this before. You feel hopeless, because you know you can do nothing at all now. Do yourself a favor and go NC.
  • Feb 17, 2009, 02:28 AM
    Dare81

    I think I can safely say we have all begged our ex's to come back at some point or another.Its hard and takes time to move on. I am sure you will get over this.Start NC as soon as possible.and remember you are not alone most of people here are going through the same thing you are going through
  • Feb 17, 2009, 04:53 AM
    MiSSsy111222

    Why be friends with her? It will only hurt you more. Maybe when all your feelings for her have died out, then yes be friends. So carry on with your life. I'm sure you was happy before she came alone, so you know you can be happy without her.

    Don't try friendship with her, because you are putting a lable on something which is not that. IT Won't WORK. Start recovering today go NC.
  • Feb 17, 2009, 07:17 AM
    kctiger

    Repeat... until you vomit... then continue:

    I DO NOT NEED HER IN MY LIFE!!!
  • Feb 17, 2009, 12:00 PM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rollinstones95 View Post
    Im totally and completely in love with my ex. She broke up with me because she lost her feelings for me. This is the second time I broke down and begged for her to come back to me. The first time was when it first happened and the second time just today. I asked her to just give me one last chance. And of course she didnt and just got mad. I know i need to stop bothering but its so hard to give that up. I guess my first question is How can i reverse the damage I just caused, i need her in my life whether it just be as friends. And what can I do to get over her, Im hopeless.

    Can't reverse it like everyone said, but you can make her forget about it.

    And Dare81 is right, I've begged before, and with one girl it was an on-going thing for one or two months when I was 18. I called her at least once a week belching the same thing over and over again... and she listened. Anyway, I realized I only pleaded with ex-girlfriends that I knew I wouldn't have a second chance with because I understood that we both knew, even during the relationship, that we weren't a good match.

    Being as she no longer has feelings for you, it sounds like it's the same case.
  • Feb 17, 2009, 07:10 PM
    friend4u178

    The begging just pushes her further away so unfortunately you have already ruined your chance of her coming back in the near future.

    Go No Contact and if there is a chance in the future she may just start to miss you. If it's meant to be it will , if not then you have started your healing rather than hanging on to false hope.

    And don't feel hopeless , you are doing exactly what most Dumpees do at the beginning of a breakup.
  • Feb 18, 2009, 06:31 AM
    Romefalls19

    Nc, read the stickies at the top of the forum. You can't erase the past but you can change the future.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:52 PM.