So my parents, mainly my dad, are likely emotionally abusing me. This has been going on for months. I just did some research on the way you can be emotionally abused. For one I am always scared to tell him my feelings. He has never hit me but he always tells me he will knock me out. I am 16 by the way. I do bad in school. Such as F in Spanish 1 and D in English. The rest of my grades are decent like mid B's. I stay after school for those classes everyday and study everyday. I over heard my parents talking after I got yelled at for asking for 20 dollars for a pair of shoes... He said I am not responsible enough for money. She said to him that he needs to calm down and my problems are being fixed in school. He simply told her that no they are not and they never will be, he screamed it so I could hear it, It really hurt me. Constantly he gets in my face for small mistakes like not taking out the trash or not doing the small amount of dishes and says I should not play guitar or skate because I'm headed nowhere with it. He always calls me "fatboy" I weigh 160 pounds I am 5'11. Im hoping its not really emotional abuse but I need to know if it really is or not. I might be able to talk my mom into getting some kind of counseling arrangements. Is this abuse or not?

Hi EZ. Can't give an estimated guess yet as to whether this is abuse. I know it's hard to explain through typing words on the computer or over the internet but how does he tell you that you're going nowhere with the skating and the guitar playing? Again, I know it might be tough to explain but it might help to know close to his exact words and his tone. Also, when he calls you fatboy, does it sound like he is kidding or playing with you? I'm not saying that this is acceptable at all. It's not.
Either way, right now you are hurting from this. Have you tried to tell your Dad how you feel? And if that wouldn't or doesn't work, can you talk to your mom about it? It's a big plus EZ that you say your mom would possibly go to counseling if that is what you want. She's sounds healthy but I'm just going by what I'm reading so far. You're dad may be healthy too but I don't know that for sure. He may not know that the name calling or telling you you're going nowhere with skating or playing guitar hurts you. He may or may not know that he is truly hurting you with all of these things you've mentioned. 16 is a tough age. And not for anything EZ but 160 lbs is not overweight for a boy who is 5'11". It also depends on your frame; small, med, large. How do you feel about yourself?

EZ, you sound as though you really apply yourself at school and that you are really trying. Don't give in to and don't believe that you are a screw up because you are NOT.

Do you do drugs/alcohol?

He says "I dont see you going anywhere with it", he says "when you are going on a halfpipe 40ft in the air i might find time to come watch you do something like that" he says "when your playing like Van Halen the i will come see you play". Mom said no on the counseling. Dad just screams at me when I try and talk to him.


Choux- I have drank and have smoked weed, smoked once like 2 years ago, didn't like it. Drank like twice, then grandmother died of it, so I never did it again.

I'm really glad to hear that you're not doing drugs or drinking. I'm sure Choux will be also.
A lot of people will turn to drugs to escape bad feelings. If it's in the family, that's a tough one too. You are very smart. I don't want to get too personal but one of your parents is an (ACOA) Adult child(ren) of Alcoholics and the other is sort of like a co-dependent. Your mom said no to counseling. I can't say for sure but it could possibly be because of fear. Very possible. One of your parents is the adult "child" of an alcoholic. No doubt. I don't like the sounds of this and I'm sorry you're going through this. You are a very smart young man. I think you should stick with playing guitar if that's what you enjoy. I am no expert EZ but I'll bet counseling or therapy would help an awful lot even if you just go for yourself. I hate to suggest this because I feel like I'm advising and I could be incorrect. My gut tells me no. I also don't want you to be afraid. Counseling or therapy does not mean you are crazy or anything like that. Don't let anyone, even your parents, ever tell you that you are or that it is you. You sound like the victim here and you have no siblings even to talk to. Correct me if I am wrong there. It's just that you haven't mentioned siblings. There are meetings for ACOA. Even though it was your grandmother who unfortunately died from the disease, you could still be affected and you would learn a great deal about your parent(s), the behaviour, and yes, I'm going to say, the abuse. I don't know if it is both of them for sure. Again, it sounds like one of them is the co-dependent or is basically standing by the other. I am surprised that you asked about counseling and your mom said no. Is there any chance you can get to a meeting once you find them in your area? OR is there any way you can go to counseling for yourself? Would your mom actually have a problem with you going alone since she said no? If yes, you still should find a way to go. You can always talk to a school counselor and just be sure to tell them that you feel uncomfortable with them calling or talking to your parents. If there is counseling in your area, don't worry too much about money. They will help you. I don't want to throw too much at you at once as I may already have. You are just 16 and you are trying to help yourself. Like I said, very smart. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't give up on YOU.