Hello all, my girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago, by the way it's a Long-distance relationship. It was so sudden, oneday I had a call from her and she wanted to take a break from me. The reason was because she had no feelings for me any longer, during that time she break off with me she was still overseas and she was so cruel and heartless towards the break up. Anyway we recently got back together as friends, we made out and had sex. At first she was telling me we can be sex buddies and as time went by she started showing me her emotions ( like crying because she hurted me real bad when she broke off with me ) also telling me that she loves me ( I told her not to say that if she didn't mean it ) she said she still loves me a little, there are so many things she's bringing up like if I still want to marry her and have kids with her. The problem I'm facing is I don't know if I should believe all this things she is saying to me and when I asked her if she had any thoughts about us getting back together, she says she does think about it sometimes but when I ask her if we could get back together she keeps rejecting me with all her excuses ( she's afraid <-- have no idea why she's afraid, I think I should be the one being more afraid since she break off with me ) she's a girl that changes her mind very quickly, one moment she wants an apple the next moment she wants an orange. I really love her with all my heart, I just feel she's using me. Please advice me what I should do and if anyone knows, what she wants.

No one knows what she wants, it sounds as if she doesn't know herself.


But one things for sure... she's using you, and your letting her!

Leave this relationship, she's already broke your heart and she'll do it again, I'd bet a months wages on it.


Not to be rude, just the truth.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

The reason was because she had no feelings for me any longer,

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The reason was because she was screwing somebody else.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

during that time she break off with me she was still overseas and she was so cruel and heartless towards the break up. Anyway we recently got back together as friends,

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Just out of curiosity, do all your friends treat you cruelly and heartlessly?

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Originally Posted by parana8811

we made out and had sex.

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I have to tell you, I saw this coming before I read it. She knows you are emotionally wrapped up in her and she's using you for sex.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

At first she was telling me we can be sex buddies

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Sex buddies. In other words you are just there for the moment until the next guy comes along and then she dumps you again.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

and as time went by she started showing me her emotions ( like crying cos she hurted me real bad when she broke off with me ) also telling me that she loves me ( i told her not to say that if she didnt mean it )

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She should you her emotions? More like she used her emotions to control you, and you fell for it, hook, line and whore.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

she said she still loves me alittle,

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She'd be lying.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

there are so many things shes bringing up like if i still want to marry her and have kids with her.

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Honest to God. Beyond the fact she's trying to continue to keep you emotionally invested in this, could you honestly look your future children in the eye and tell them this was the best mother you could get them?

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Originally Posted by parana8811

The problem im facing is i dont know if i should believe all this things she is saying to me

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Not a single word.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

and when i asked her if she had any thoughts about us getting back together, she says she does think about it sometimes but when i ask her if we could get back together she keeps rejecting me with all her excuses ( shes afraid <-- have no idea why shes afraid, i think i should be the one being more afraid since she break off with me )

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Of course she does. She just wants to string you along, she talks a big game but can't deliver. She already told you she just wants to be sex buddies. She's just using you to keep it warm while she searches for somebody else that isn't as available as you are.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

shes a girl that changes her mind very quickly, one moment she wants an apple the next moment she wants an orange. i really love her with all my heart, i just feel shes using me.

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There's a reason you feel that way. She's using you, and it's clear as day.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

Please advice me wat i should do and if anyone knows, what she wants.

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She wants to use you until she finds someone else. She purposely plays on your emotions. What you need and I do mean need to do is get away from her, and certainly quit listening to her.

She wants to use you for her own emotional needs and doesn't care what you want. How can you go along with her program, and be her boy toy, until something better comes along? Then you may have to share.

I like to add something's to my experiences, when we are together after the break up she didn't want her family to know that she's hanging out with me then all of a sudden (2days ago) when I went over to her place to watch dvds with her, she asked me straight away to spend the night with her, she was having a bad headache that night ( we were meeting up everyday not just having sex but spending time as what a couple does ) all of a sudden letting her family knows we are sleeping together didn't seem to bother her anymore. I think I would like to make things clear to her about what I want, what I want is to have a serious relationship. If she doesn't want that I think I have to end all this with her. Everyone is telling me she's not worth it and telling me to move on and I know I should but somewhere in me something keeps me from doing that.

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Originally Posted by parana8811

I like to add somethings to my experiences, when we are together after the break up she didnt want her family to know that shes hanging out with me then all of a sudden (2days ago) when i went over to her place to watch dvds with her, she asked me straight away to spend the night with her, she was having a bad headache that night ( we were meeting up everyday not just having sex but spending time as wat a couple does ) all of a sudden letting her family knows we are sleeping together didnt seem to bother her anymore. I think i would like to make things clear to her about wat i want, wat i want is to have a serious relationship. If she doesnt want that i think i have to end all this with her. everyone is telling me shes not worth it and telling me to move on and i know i should but somewhere in me something keeps me from doing that.

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Now read what we all wrote.


Then quit making excuses for her.

Buddy read the signs. She has no real feelings for you and she is just using you for sex until someone better comes around. Do not even think about marriage. All it will get you is heartache. Even worse If you have children.

Ex's or friends with benefits is a NO NO...

You will just get hurt and more confused at the end- what is the point in that?


Read what the others wrote- Chuff has said it all so well!

Time to go NC big time.

This sounds like rerun when my ex broke up with me the first time.Knowing what I know now I would run as fast as possible.

Run away, don't let her control you and be the friends with benefits. It will only lead to stronger heartbreak, upset stomach and sleepless nights. Not to mention, maybe a nice bus ride to the free clinic