Hey everyone I'm new here but I been reading the post for a while and it been so good that I decide to join.

So here goes, I'll try to keep it short as possible...

Me and my ex was in a long distance relationship which lasted about 2 years, it was great and we had a great relationship. But towards the end of the relationship he told me that " 'we should back off' because he wanted to focus on his career. I didnt think much of it, and I didnt want to hold him back in anything so I said yes. After that we didn't speak for a while. So I thought I will give him a call just to see how he is....but no answer. (Just for the record i didnt call 100 times probably 10 in that time period lol) So after that I didnt call him for about another 3months, but by this time his number was no longer in service so that was it and he never once try to contact me. This was really painful you, would think that if you are in a relationship with someone for 2 years they would consider your feelings more.

So in time I accepted the fact that he didn't want to be contacted by me and that he didnt want me around. (I know this because he was still in contact with one of my friends but not with me) When he did this I was mad at him for months because I felt he could have been more clear with me, he wanted to break up but he never said that, he just ignored me and gave me no explaination.

So with that in mind I moved on...I was finally getting him out of my system...and BAM! who calls out of the blue? Yes him!!!

He just called randomly out of the blue just to 'see how I'm doing', He kept calling everytime I seem to get over him. (why is that always the case? It's like they can smell when you are getting over them)
So with that in mind, I told him that its best not to contact me because he is confusing me. He didnt for a while and then he started again.
Then last week finally I told him I want closure, I need him to tell me that "he doesn't need me in his life and that he don't love me anymore and all this craziness will be over". It a reasonable request right?

But today a week later I hear nothing from him, no closure, no answer. I do not want to get back together with him, but I feel like mentally I need to hear him make up his mind. I'm trying to close the book on this awkward relationship but I feel like he wants to keep me as a ' just in case' or keep me hanging on. Which from my standpoint is inpossible.

So what should I do? Since he won't respond, what can I do to get him out of my system? And why is he doing this to me?
Do you think I handled that situation correctly?

(also he said that he wanted to focus on he carer but to this day had made no progress, so what he told me was a lie) :eek:

Your sitting on your butt waiting for him to do something for you. Forget it! Anything you need done for yourself is your responsibility, not his. Get your own closure by going STRICT NO CONTACT and getting busy rebuilding your own life. You do have caller ID to screen your calls don't you?

It's over, move on.

You are the one, not him, but you are the one who is holding on and making strange demands and misrepresenting the words "we should back off." That was a break up, he may not have used those words but that is exactly what it was. You now want him to call back and give you closure. That will not happen. He's closed the book on his end a long time ago. Now you have to continue to ignore him and close the book on your end.

I am going through a recent break up and I tell you it is hard to say the least! You are wanting something from your EX and is not getting it! Your EX is showing you by his actions! At first I was in shock... because I wanted my EX to respond in a certain way after we broke up! He didn't... now we walk past each other and do not speak... it is as if we are strangers! It is up to you to move forward with your LIFE! That is what I am trying to do... and I do know that it is a hard road traveled... but in the end you will come out like a true CHAMP! Good LUCK to you. I know some days will be better than others... just remember when you are having a bad day... others are out there too trying to remain strong... We can put our energy together! I need to take a dose of my own medicine!

This is why we all push the NO Contact, if you don't answer his calls, don't open his text message and ignore his emails, you learn to move on.

Many ex's drag you on and on just because they can.

A closure from the ex- would be helpful- but many times one finds that you don't get it. So the best thing to do is find the closure for yourself and find peace within you and move on.

Why is he not giving you closure?

Who gives a f***? Move on. He is no longer a significant part of your life, he does not need to validate you or tell you he doesn't need you. He needs to get on with his life, as do you.

If you are having problems with him breaking NC, STOP ANSWERING HIS CALLS, TEXTS OR EMAILS....OR THE DOOR. Unless he stalks you there's no excuse... actually even then you could get a restraining order, lol. Really though, take the bull by the horns and take control of this situation, of you and your life. Are you not yet sick of leading your life according to his path when you're not even a side-thought?

Does it matter if he lied to you or not.He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. That should be enough closure.
Don't sit around and wait for his phone calls.In the first couple of month after my breakup I usually would leave me cell phone behind.That helped me out a lot.
See if it works out for you