Hello,

My wife and I are ready for a kid and have been trying to get pregnant. We had a miscarriage about a year ago. I am 41 and my wife is 28. My wife says she has been regular. Her doctor prescribed her prenatal vitamins to take in case she gets pregnant again. It has been about a year now since the miscarriage. Are we not "doing it" often enough? Do we need to schedule this on a daily cycle or do what comes natural which is when I am in the mood? Sometimes, this can span from a few days to a week and not during her menstrual time. Should I go get tested as well or just keep trying? If I do go get checked out should I contact my regular doctor? I realize some couples can get pregnant like the wind blows and for some it can be really hard to conceive. I guess we are a little worried. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks :-)

Sorry... I meant my wife is 29.

You might want to try a sperm count...

Most docs are willing to talk about the possibility of fertility issues after about a year of unsuccessful trying. Prenatals are good for her to take. The folic acid/folate is always cited for its ability to reduce birth defects tied to nerual tube development when you are pregnant... but there's also a belief that it can help prepare the uterus for pregnancy, increasing the chance shell get pregnant.

Also... there's some evidence that a man taking supplemental folic acid/folate can help with the quality of sperm... meaning it can reduce the chances of genetic defects, which increases the chances of an embryo "taking"... and many believe that most first term miscarriages are tied to some sort of chromosomal defect. This doesn't mean all sperm or eggs are defective... it means that perhaps with that particular fertilization there might have been some genetic change that caused the miscarriage.

My mother, for ex, had a miscarriage... but was able to have children after. While the %'s play into the possibility of some genetic problem that caused the miscarriage, it doesn't mean that you or she don't have any healthy sperm or eggs.

How far in was she when it happened?

I absolutely would talk to a feritilty specialist if you've been trying for a year... and I don't say that because there's a lot of red flags... but because you might not be doing all you can do to optimize your chances. A miscarriage and about a year of trying warrants talking to a specialist.

For ex... the things you do to your body today will have effect on your sperm quality in two to three months. It takes time for positive efforts to yields positive effects.

A specialist won't just look at your count... theyd look at your sperm count, the quality, and the motility. If you have healthy sperm with good mobility, but your numbers are low, your chances are lower. If you have good numbres but there are issues with genetics, your chances are lower, if you have good genetics and numbers, but the guys don't "swim" right, your chances are lower.

So... what can you do? Healthy living begets healthy sperm. You should be taking a good multivitamin. Reduce stress. Exercise. Eat well, esp veggies with antioxidant properties. The things to avoid are pollution, excessive alcohol, smoking, drugs, stress. Most know about hot tubs and the "guys" getting too hot.

This doesn't mean that what's going on is about you... and it doesn't mean it isn't... all you can do is all you can do.

Its not uncommon for fertility specialists to address potential improvents in conditions on both sides, male and female.

Something to tag on at the end... a little off topic, but something worth mentioning in my opinion. Acupuncture on the woman is supposed to increase fertility by increasing blood flow and minimizing "blockages"... again, better preparing the uterus.

I only mention this because I've personally seen what acupuncture did for my wife, dealing with endometriosis and cysts... the practitioner warned us that the treatment would most likely render her more fertile... wouldn't you know it... my son was conceived, while we were using two forms of birth control, when she was getting treatment.

I don't like the "chi/qi" talk tied to acupuncture... I'm trained in the sciences and I like well run studies and peer reviewed, primary papers. I like stats and data.

But EVERYTHING her acupuncturist has said he could do, he has done. Period. And it's a method of treatment that is being employed in many different areas of medicine. Just something to consider.

"removing energy blocks" sounds like witch doctor stuff. Using "physical stimuli to alter the neruological response, and then the hormone response to change physiological conditions"... that, I can buy. Might be the same gift wrapped in a different packaging.

So don't be scared to talk to a fertility specialist. You can deal with reality, so know reality. If there are issues with sperm count or quality or mobility, there are options. And perhaps some changes you can make in your life that might help things in a couple of months.

Thanks for posting your question.

Hi kp2171,

I will go get checked out and look into acupuncture as well. I think my wife will do acupuncture too if I have a go at it :-)

She was 2 - 2 1/2 months when the miscarriage occurred. We were quite bummed because it brought us closer than we ever have been before... to a new level I would say.

We'll see what the fertility specialist says...

Thanks for your detailed reply and suggestions :-)

Don't know where you live, but bigger, urban centers often have fertility clinics, some of which offer acu tied toward fertility.

Acupunture is being used in military zones for its ability to reduce pain without drugs or with fewer drugs. They even have little special military designed needles that will fit under a helmet... getting off topic... point is, while there still some debate about how it works, if it works, etc... some believe that simple using relaxation techniques can help with fertility... which can tie into stress reduction... which can help with regular cycles, better health... the feel good endorphins acu releases are certainly cited for this potential relaxation of the body.

So... while I'm sold on acupuncture as at least being something that can be addressed... others say even things like yoga, meditation, guided imagery, etc can produce similar effects with even lower to no cost. Acu is much cheaper than fertility drugs, but its still some coin, and takes time to reset the body.

Anyway... thanks for the thanks. Hope to hear good news in the upcoming months.

Hope you are well kp2171,

In the middle of the night (2:30am) & on the day I was scheduled to go in to do my sperm test my wife woke up for whatever reason it may have been... she decided to use a pregnancy test and it turned out positive so she woke me up (2-3am) in the morning to tell me the good news. She said she was feeling off so something was going on. I still went to do the test that morning and the doctor said all was normal... whew.

My wife is ~ 6 weeks along. We are signing up with a high-risk OB/GYN as recommended by her regular doctor. I hope all goes well. Uncharted territory for us.

Recently, she has been having really bad (work) stress related neck & shoulder pain so we went to see a chiropractor and accupuncturist to find out what could be done. The chiropractor said she has built up a very high tolerance for pain which is good & bad... because he was pressing on her pretty hard and other people would have said that hurts but she didn't feel it much. I'm thinking about having her go get regular massages or acupuncture to loosen up the muscles... at least while she is pregnant. Do you agree?
I am worried this will be an issue down the road and if it is... it is going to be very long 9 months because her neck & shoulder pain is bad.

Take it easy kp2171