He Keeps Calling & I Don't Know How Strong I Can Be
My boyfriend and I had just gotten back together, we did the usual couple stuff everything seemed pretty back to normal. We are always breaking up it seems but when he comes back there I am. So he is real anal when it comes to his car, its always spotless and he washes it a lot!! One morning I stayed over at his place, he woke up early to take his daughters to school and then for a quick workout at the gym. all the will I slept until he got back. We got ready to go have breakfast as we walked toward his car quickly notice speckles of dirt/mud over the front of his car which is a bit weird. I made a comment about it, he says "maybe it rained." Another car in driveway which is black was spotless hadn't been used since I'd been there so rain was definitely out of the question. I didn't make a big deal or jump to conclusions. I got into the car buckled up and noticed a blonde short strand of hair, my hair is black med. Length. I brought it to his attention and says he hadn't had anyone else in the car and that maybe one of his daughters accidentally had it on them, their jacket, or something however again his daughters both being twins have long thick black hair no blonde. Needless, to say the day got worse when he all of a sudden had to go to work, he works for the oil field. He went off to work at 10we spoke to him briefly on the phone because he going to rest since he had been up all day. I left it as is and fell asleep and left for work early the next morning, he called at about 11am and the first question was "where are you?" not "how?" so I told him. Later, we got into a really heated argument at his place over something stupid he got back from work and smelled like beer he said horrible things to me, told me to leave, and made a scene in front of his mom. I of course was crying and asked him to calm down but he took it one step further by grabbing my neck and pushed me down to the floor with forceful anger. I left his house got home blocked his number and haven't spoken to him in a week, he has called a number of times but I don't pick up. He called today and I answered thinking it might be work I heard him say "hey," but his tone was so normal as though nothing had happened I made noise of disgust which he heard and I hung up on him. He called 12 times after that and I didn't answer then he stopped calling, it made me feel worse because it was valentines day and wanted to badly celebrate it with him. I make it so easy for him every time we breakup I take him back easily because before this he would play the blame card of course it was all on me and I ate it up every time. So I guess my question is what do? I love him so much he was my "one." I figure if I stay completely away he will eventually realize what he had and what mistakes he has made, that he might change. I need a guys mind right now because I don't know how to treat this problem. Please help.
Does he believe it in order to have an excuse?
I have never been an ugly girl and grew up with girls not liking me and mostly getting along well with guys. There are guys I shot down because for whatever reason I just wasn't interested so some have lied about dating me. The girls on the other hand usually hated me because a guy they liked or a boyfriend they had liked me, however I never pursued any of them. I ended up with a guy that everyone said I was to good for but I fell for him. I never cared what people said or the rumors I heard about him because I knew first hand what it felt like to be talked about. But when it came to my boyfriend (who is now my ex) he seemed to believe things that supposedly people would say about me. I know who I am and what I have done for the most part I'm a nice person, who has never slept around yet when he would become upset he'd name call, saying hurtful things like slut, easy, and anything in common with these two words. I feel that maybe he did this or believed it so he wouldn't feel guilty for cheating, treating me badly, or not showing me enough attention. So, is he believing these things to have an excuse or not? I'm just trying to understand why he did this