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-   -   Online friend for real? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=317349)

  • Feb 14, 2009, 04:24 PM
    idkimkfi4r
    Online friend for real?
    I met this girl around 8 months ago over an online game. We've progressively played and talked more and more as we got to know each other. Lately its been just chatting on msn or even just talking on this game rather then actually playing it. We've each shared pictures of ourselves, and find each other attractive. We live a long ways away and its unlikely we'll ever get to meet, unless something changes, but that doesn't bother me right now.

    What does though, is that over the last 2 months, I've really started to wonder if she is who she says she is. She's done and said things that have both made me feel like she really is who she says she is, and made me wonder whether she really is who she says she is. I've somewhat hinted to try and get her to show me clear proof that she is real, but she becomes sad, hurt or even mad if I question her at all about whether she is real. She never questions whether I'm really who I say I am.

    There has been so much that has happened between us and we've become great friends. I'd hate to think this friendship is all a big fake and she really doesn't care about me whatsoever, but I'm really getting a sense that it could be possible. I don't want to make a mistake and totally stop talking with her if she is real, but at the same time I don't want to find out one day its all been a big fake or something. I'll be very hurt if that day does come. I'm aware you never really know who you could be talking with online, but I can't believe this person would spend as much time as they do chatting with me if they know it's not a meaningful friendship at all. There’s a lot more to this relationship then what I've said.

    What I’m looking for is any kind of advice on this, whether it be some way I can determine whether she is for real or not, or some kind of advice on how I should treat online friends. I don’t really have anyone that I can talk to about this that I actually know, so I’m basically looking for someone I can talk to about it. Is there some website where there’s people that can help out with this type of situation? I’m very torn on it all and I’m unsure of how I should handle it. Any kind of advice, help, or tips would be greatly appreciated.
  • Feb 14, 2009, 06:41 PM
    talaniman

    You may be right, as how much caring and sharing can one do online. Don't get carried away, or too wrapped up in a stranger. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself, but it does mean be cautious, and protect yourself.
  • Feb 14, 2009, 07:16 PM
    Homegirl 50

    I agree with talaniman.
    You can also stop communicating with her, see if she keeps it up. That may tell you something.
  • Feb 14, 2009, 07:55 PM
    kaitou

    I've actually met a bunch of people online. All the people I know are what they say they are. I've met a few of them in real life. All of them I met from an online game, that I used to play. We are just friends, nothing romantic.

    Some of them I'm still close with, and I've met them like 6 years ago or perhaps longer, I can't remember.

    However, most of us do live far away from each other, so we mainly contact each other on the internet.

    I don't really see the need of confirming their identity, because I hardly see them in real life anyway. It's not like they can threaten me or anything. They are not asking for my credit card number, or anything that is too personal anyway.

    I do find myself sharing my personal problems with them from time to time, and I think it's a great way to hear different perspective on the same issue. It's also a great way to discuss something that you're too embarrass to discuss with people that you see on a regular basis.

    So I guess what I'm saying is. It doesn't really matter who she say she is, if you're not going to meet with her anyway. Just enjoy your conversation with her, and relax :)..

    But do be careful with the information you give her.
  • Feb 15, 2009, 03:12 AM
    Clough

    Hi, idkimkfi4r!

    Would it be possible for you to speak on the phone with this person?

    Thanks!
  • Feb 15, 2009, 10:46 AM
    TL4ever

    Well, it's the internet, and also natural for us humans to question others and find someone to trust.
    Why would it seriously matter if she's real or not? She's talking with u, sharing ideas, etc... etc...
    And how would u feel if u were in her shoes, "her asking u all these things if YOU were real" wouldn't that also make u feeling guilty?
    And like others are saying, just don't get too carried away.
  • Feb 16, 2009, 08:01 PM
    idkimkfi4r

    Thanks a bunch for the responses, I didn't expect I'd get as many as I did.

    What I failed to mention in my first post was that I feel like it may not be a girl I'm talking to, but rather a guy. There's been a few reasons to believe this that I do not want to get into, but there are. I'm trying hard not to get myself to rapped up with person, but I do enjoying chatting with them and I don't want to stop chatting if they are who they say they are, we really do get along.

    I obviously don't want to keep talking to them if they are a guy pretending to be a girl. I think anyone can understand that. I'm not sure what to do about it, other then what Clough suggested and try to talk to them over the phone.
  • Feb 26, 2009, 06:51 AM
    jaxz16

    Well, I'm a girl and I play wow. They exist so she really could be a girl. As far as the whole "real" thing goes, What exactly do you want her to be? Is your only hesitation that she might not actually be a she? I guess maybe I'm a bit confused because If I was in this situation and I liked someone I met over an online game (which I've made quite a few friends over) I would believe what they told me, especially if you guys talk outside of the game. What makes you think she isn't real?

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