My ex fiancé and I were together for three years. We broke up back in October 2008. Neither one of us are from the town that we lived in. We had gotten into a huge knock down drag out fight and said some pretty hurtful things to each other. We parted ways telling each other that we never wanted to speak to each other again. About two weeks after we broke up he moved out of this town. He went to one of his ex girlfriends house. When I found out I sent him an e-mail telling him how hurt I was because of how easy it was for him to get over me and move on. Well he stayed there for about two weeks total and then left her house and moved somewhere else. I am not sure where. We have not spoken since he left. I have been missing him and kicking myself in the butt since he left for having it all end the way that it ended. I still love this guy and would like to have remained friends with him at least. I have e-mailed him a few times since we split and got no response. Well his birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I sent him another e-mail telling him how much I missed him and how sorry I was. I also told him that I didn't understand how you could go from loving to a person and wanting to marry them to never talking to them again. Well, to my surprise he actually e-mailed me back basically telling me that he couldn't just stop loving me and wanted to know how I was doing. So, I sent him an e-mail back telling him how happy I was to hear from him, etc. This was the first time we have corresponded since we got into our huge fight. I have not received an e-mail back from him yet. My question is, what is he thinking? Does anyone think that he will come back? Has any man ever been in this situation. I know that these are stupid questions and most people are going to tell me that the past is the past and exs are exs for a reason and that is not what I am looking for. I am trying to find out what he may possibly be thinking about and if he ever thinks about me. I am not saying that we should get back together, because God has his own plan, I just want to try to get other people's advice on the situation. Thanks in advance.

I know one of the first things we do after a breakup is wonder what the other person is thinking. Been there, done that.

What is he thinking? I honestly don't know but I would have to say it depends on a few things here. Leading to this break up, did you see any red flags or signs that were hinting at a potential split? Any decrease in the amount of his affection or communication towards you? Take a moment to clear your head and see if you can remember anything that might stand out. Oftentimes only when we take a minute to look back we could see this was coming along the whole time...

This is why when your in a heated argument it's best to walk away until you cool off and the two of you are able to talk things out in a civil matter. Otherwise your going say or do things in the heat of the moment and later regret it. Making a rational decision because your mad would never do any good and when your agruing your going say things to hurt each other feelings.

He might nave stayed from his ex afterwards because he had no where else to go so he used her to provide a roof over his head. Or they could've had something going on but if they did your weren't together.

Now you want his back but I don't know if or when it's going happen. And you shouldn't hold on to false hope. The only thing you can do right now is learn from what happen between the two you and use it as a tool.

You can't really questions his actions because only he knows his actions. It would be good if we can look into someone mind to know what he/she is thinking but we can't so we go on pure instinct.

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most people are going to tell me that the past is the past and exs are exs for a reason and that is not what I am looking for. I am trying to find out what he may possibly be thinking about and if he ever thinks about me. I am not saying that we should get back together, because God has his own plan, I just want to try to get other people's advice on the situation. Thanks in advance.

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Should we get you a psychic, or a mind reader?? Know one can know what another thinks, but I can tell you that as a guy, I would be very cautious about getting back with a female who I had knock down drag out fights with.

Its also a big red flag, that he can so easily flee to an ex, when you do have these fights.

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Originally Posted by UnluckyDucky

I know one of the first things we do after a breakup is wonder what the other person is thinking. Been there, done that.

What is he thinking? I honestly don't know but I would have to say it depends on a few things here. Leading to this break up, did you see any red flags or signs that were hinting at a potential split? Any decrease in the amount of his affection or communication towards you? Take a moment to clear your head and see if you can remember anything that might stand out. Oftentimes only when we take a minute to look back we could see this was coming along the whole time...

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Right before we broke up we were having problems. He had lost his job about 6 months previous to us breaking up and found other jobs that were all dead end jobs. It cause a lot of conflict in our relationship because I was the only one working and supporting us. We had gotten into a big argument one day (about a month before we split) and I told him that he needed to do what was best for him to get back on his feet and if that meant for him to move to another town to find work, then he needed to do it. So a couple of weeks after that argument he was talking about moving and me going with him. I told him that I couldn't uproot myself and just move. But a few days later I thought about it and told him that I would go if he moved. Then a couple of days before we broke up he was telling me that he was going to move and I told him that I would go with him and he snapped at me and told me that he didn't want me to go and that I could do better than him and blah blah blah. So, when he snapped at me I felt like something was up and that one of his exs were possibly involved. So that is what cause our huge blowout that we had. Come to find out he went to his exs and when I found out I e-mailed him and told him how hurt I was that he lied to me and got back with his ex and a week after that e-mail he left her.

In your situation, like many others, when a relationship encompasses those types of fights - where respect boundaries have been broken, it is almost unsalvageable. I tell people all the time, never let that fight happen where you disrespect each other. Stop it from happening the first time so there is never a second.

Now that you are in the situation that you're in, honestly, it appears as if he has moved on. I know that is hurtful to hear, and he may shoot you an email every now and then, but if he is truly thinking of you the way you are thinking of him you WILL hear from him.

The best thing to do is the hardest thing to do. Focus on yourself and move on. Work on yourself because that is best to do when you are single as we think differently. I know you don't want to hear it but TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS and you WILL get over him.

Not to mention, when you pull away and he doesn't hear from you, he will wonder why you stopped e-mailing him. Don't hold on to the hope that you might get back together. Focus on you and let the cards fall.