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-   -   Is having a hard on the only sign that a man is turned on? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=316755)

  • Feb 12, 2009, 07:30 PM
    polish princess
    Is having a hard on the only sign that a man is turned on?
    Is having a hard on the only sign that a man is turned on?
    I 'm curious to know if all man, get a hard on when they touch or please their partners? Is it normal if they don’t or sometimes do and Is that the only way to know if he is in the mood or isn’t. The reason I ask is because I want to know everything Before I talk with my boyfriend about our sex issues I want to know as much as possible. Another thing is why is it hard for him to keep it hard not always sometimes is it a problem I do realize we need to talk but I just want to have more information and direction from others before I do.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 07:54 PM
    DSM521
    In my opinion a hard on is not the only way to tell if is turned on. Just like a woman getting wet, sometimes a man needs a little help getting to that point. For me and my wife she knows I am turned on in the way I kiss, and touch her. Kisses are more passionate and playful, touches wonder all over the body over and under clothes. It's the little things, that are different that will let you know, not just him being erect.

    As far as staying hard, that is normal. Sometimes while I am giving my wife oral I will loose my erection, not because I don't want her or that I am not turned on. Just because I am not a teenager any more. Us guys need our woman to keep the fire going.
  • Feb 13, 2009, 07:08 AM
    smoothy

    It might be the only way on a young guy... but many older guys can control that.. so I would say that is NOT the only way to tell if he is interested... there are a lot of social ques that would show this just like there are for women.
  • Feb 13, 2009, 07:59 AM
    liz28

    I know when my fiancé is turned on by his body language or just from looking into his eyes and no words even have to be speaken. Having a hard on well that just makes things even easier. Maybe it is because were in synch with one another because he knows the same about me and sometimes we were not in the mood, wel me because he's always ready, he knows how to get me in the mood.

    How long have the two of you been together?
  • Feb 13, 2009, 08:54 AM
    slapshot_oi

    Yeah that's pretty much the only way to tell for certain being as in some post you said you two were 26 or thereabouts.

    Men try to make it as obvious as humanly possible. If you're unsure, then he's probably not interested.
  • Feb 13, 2009, 09:00 AM
    neverme

    You can tell by... breathing, kisses, touching, body language, words... the list is endless!

    Just takes a while to figure out what HIS signs are.
  • Feb 14, 2009, 03:32 PM
    Choux

    When both men and women are turned on, their genitals are engorged with fluid and grow larger... females swollen vaginas sweat lubrication, the clitoris becomes stiff... males, their penis grows and grows. :)

    So, yes, an erection of some size is the only indication that a man is really physically turned on.

    People can be sort of turned on, but not ready to go... not on fire. :)

    In my opinion, a young guy who doesn't keep a hard erection while engaging in foreplay and sexual intercourse is not mentally turned on by his partner.

    Best wishes, :)
  • Feb 15, 2009, 07:33 PM
    polish princess

    We've been together for 2
    He is over 30 I'm just about 26

    One of the answers was.. that its the only way !and that's kind of sad I mean he does get them but sometimes not for ã while and it doesn't always stay hard !
  • Feb 15, 2009, 09:57 PM
    polish princess

    Sorry let me clarify my question when some of you say a hard on is the only way to know if your guy is into you would that mean he isn't sexually attracted to me.

    I mean he does get a hard on, but mostly in the morning but sometimes he looses it.

    For those who say that its normal that sometimes it doesn't stay hard, does that mean that while you are pleasuring your partner you loose interest or is it because your board and at that point are you still mentally aroused? And why does that happen in my case is my boyfriend considered young?
  • Feb 15, 2009, 10:19 PM
    DSM521
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by polish princess View Post
    sorry let me clarify my question when some of you say a hard on is the only way to know if your guy is into you would that mean he isn't sexually attracted to me.

    I mean he does get a hard on, but mostly in the morning but sometimes he looses it.

    For those who say that its normal that sometimes it doesn't stay hard, does that mean that while u r pleasuring your partner you loose interest or is it because your board and at that point are you still mentally aroused? and why does that happen in my case is my boyfriend considered young?

    Well lets see I am 31 and sometimes when I , giving my wife oral I will loose my erection. I am not sure if its because I am concentrating on pleasing her or just because I am not 18 and I guess I need a little foreplay to keep it going as well. Just because I loose my erection that does not mean I am not mentally into it. I still am very much.

    I would disagree very much with those that say a hard on is the only way you can tell if he is turned on. To me that just does not make sense. I There are times that I am VERY turned on but it takes a few minutes to get erect.
  • Feb 15, 2009, 10:44 PM
    Synnen

    Please do not use chat speak/txtspk.

    This is an adult board, and because of that we expect people to use proper English, like adults would.

    I will delete any future posts in this thread that contain chat speak.
  • Feb 17, 2009, 11:41 AM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by polish princess View Post
    sorry let me clarify my question when some of you say a hard on is the only way to know if your guy is into you would that mean he isn't sexually attracted to me.

    Usually, but you've been together for two years so it's a different story.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by polish princess View Post
    I mean he does get a hard on, but mostly in the morning but sometimes he looses it.

    For those who say that its normal that sometimes it doesn't stay hard, does that mean that while u r pleasuring your partner you loose interest or is it because your board and at that point are you still mentally aroused? and why does that happen in my case is my boyfriend considered young?

    Like I said before, men make it as obvious as possible when they want sex, if you can't tell then he's probably not interested.

    You'll pull a muscle in your brain if you keep over-thinking this.

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