In my divorce decree, my ex and I were awarded joint legal custody with primary physical care and custody with me. My son has autism, and after the divorce I had another child. Due to my concern for my newborn, my son had violent tendencies, I asked his father if he could stay with him for a time. Each time I asked, he would say" you get the check, you deal with it"-- referring to his SSI check. Out of desperation, I went to the social security office and signed a piece of notebook paper stating that it was all right to send my ex-husband his check, and he would be staying with him for a while. Well, since then, I have asked my ex repeatedly to sign the check back over, because I have my son the majority of the time, but he refuses... saying "are you going to help me out financially?" He doesn't work, by the way, and hasn't for years. Because I'm afraid he would try to keep my son from me, I have just continued to keep my son and to provide him with what he needs. Recently, the child support office has proposed that I put my son on my employer's expensive medical plan-- which I cannot afford. I requested a hearing, because I told them it made no sense that we have joint custody, and I'm being required to do this simply because his father gets his check, and therefore, is the "custodial parent". Would it be likely, that the judge would enforce child support's proposal, or would it be more likely that he or she would adhere to the divorce decree-- there has been no modification?

If you are in California I can give you a detailed answer. Let me know the state you are in and we can go from there.

Part of the problem, you wanted son to live with father, so he had the right to get temp custody and get the SSI check. Then there was no formal change back, So you need to ask SSI to investigate where the child is living and have the check sent to you.
Explain to your ex that you will report him for fraud if he does not.

But why should you not be expected to provide health care insurance for your son, If it is available, though work. If not who is going to provide this, the state, our tax money?

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Originally Posted by Shannah75

In my divorce decree, my ex and I were awarded joint legal custody with primary physical care and custody with me. My son has autism, and after the divorce I had another child. Due to my concern for my newborn, my son had violent tendencies, I asked his father if he could stay with him for a time. Each time I asked, he would say" you get the check, you deal with it"-- referring to his SSI check. Out of desperation, I went to the social security office and signed a piece of notebook paper stating that it was alright to send my ex-husband his check, and he would be staying with him for a while. Well, since then, I have asked my ex repeatedly to sign the check back over, because I have my son the majority of the time, but he refuses... saying "are you going to help me out financially?" He doesn't work, by the way, and hasn't for years. Because I'm afraid he would try to keep my son from me, I have just continued to keep my son and to provide him with what he needs. Recently, the child support office has proposed that I put my son on my employer's expensive medical plan-- which I cannot afford. I requested a hearing, because I told them it made no sense that we have joint custody, and I'm being required to do this simply because his father gets his check, and therefore, is the "custodial parent". Would it be likely, that the judge would enforce child support's proposal, or would it be more likely that he or she would adhere to the divorce decree-- there has been no modification?

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Your ex is not the custodial parent. You are. You need to go back to the Social Security Office and let them know your son is still with you most of the time, show them the disso judgment, and tell them to send the check for your son to you, not him (these are social security benefits for dependent children that go to the custodial parent--if he is the custodial parent they go to him, if you are they go to you, even though they are paid because of his SSI benefits--it's sort of a way that he pays child support if he's on SSI). As I said, by law you are suppose to get the SSI child dependency benefits since you are the "custodial parent." By that I mean you have your child greater than 50% of the time.

As far as DCSS goes (I'm just going to assume you are in California) they can ask the judge to order you enroll your son on a employer group health insurance plan. The law states you are suppose to cover him if the health insurance coverage is available to you at no cost or a reasonable cost. If the health insurance is a group plan offered through your employer, it is presumed to be available at a reasonable cost. Thus, when you go to court the burden will be on you to prove it is too expensive for you or is cost-prohibitive (i.e. not available at a reasonable cost). It's up to the judge to decide what is a reasonable. Hard to say how it will turn out.