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-   -   What do you do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=316159)

  • Feb 11, 2009, 11:53 AM
    lostgirl123
    What do you do?
    What do u do when your still love your ex & just simply can't move on with life even after trying to meet someone else? But he's still not ready to talk about the break up & you want closure.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 11:56 AM
    kctiger

    Accept reality, and take more time to heal. What have you been doing since the break up to build a life?
  • Feb 11, 2009, 12:00 PM
    lostgirl123

    Spending more time with my friends, going out to eat, cinemas, shopping etc.. But nothing feels right.. & I can't go to a lot of places as its memories. Also just always busy with work atm.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 12:02 PM
    kctiger

    Just be patient. I mean, that is really it. I takes a long time, it really does.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 12:04 PM
    lostgirl123

    I know I should be patient but I'm very impatient.. & I think I might never get over it.. but I just want my answers.. how long should I wait..
  • Feb 11, 2009, 12:07 PM
    kctiger

    You don't really wait... you continue doing things you enjoy, and before you know it, you will find yourself not even thinking about your ex. There is no mandatory timeline on this. Just relax, and enjoy...
  • Feb 11, 2009, 12:14 PM
    TrueFaith

    You can't turn off feelings,

    But you can handel them. All you have to do, is keep moving.

    And in time. I know this is said a lot
    It will get easyer.

    I mean just scroll back a few months on this site
    I'm sure lots of people are feeling better
    Than the first day. When they broke up with there partners.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 12:19 PM
    lostgirl123

    I know I am strong & I don't cry or think about it as much as I did before.. its been 10months now I just hope the emotions go away very soon & not take years.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 01:58 PM
    UnluckyDucky
    Take a moment to read and listen to what all the others here are saying. They're all right.

    I know you want closure, everybody does. The thing is you don't need him to get closure - you have to learn to make your own closure though by first accepting that it really is over and allowing yourself to let these feelings go.

    Much of the misery we feel in this world is self-inflicted. We think about things over and over, thoughts are often circular - thinking if we acted a different way the outcome would be different or if we only did this or that. Its only natural to think these kind of thoughts but we can't allow ourselves to be consumed by them. That's why after a breakup its critical to start living life again and to keep our minds and bodies busy with friends (new and old), work, and new experiences and activities.

    When I was feeling extremely horrible about my last breakup, a very good friend of mine told me something that made sense to me. "The mind can be a dangerous place, don't go up there alone. Who the hell knows what's up there. Make sure you bring along a friend." I interpreted this as making sure I expressed my ideas and feelings to my friends and family or venting to a forum such as this.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:04 PM
    lostgirl123

    Thank u for the advice.. yeah I'm bad at thinking things over n over.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:23 PM
    UnluckyDucky
    You're welcome and no worries, we all do. Its just part of being human :) Just try to not let it consume you.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 06:01 PM
    talaniman

    You take your time to heal, as you build a life that you enjoy, and have activities, and people who make you happy.
  • Feb 13, 2009, 08:35 AM
    neverme

    Also get new hobbies, try to make your life fresh.

    Don't leave yourself in situations where you can see the hole that is left because he's not there. Make new situations that are all your own.

    Also be realistic with yourself about the way you feel, cry when you need to and laugh when you can. One day you'll reaise the crying has stopped... and vent! Not to him because you'll just let yourself down. But talk to a friend and come on here, it really helps to get it off your chest. No man is an island.


    Best of Luck
  • Feb 13, 2009, 11:38 AM
    lostgirl123

    Thank you guys.. much appreicated advice.

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