This is very simple, but am 19 and she is 18... and I want to know is to early for us to talk about getting married?

I don't think it's too early to TALK about it, but it may be too early to act upon it. How long have you been dating?

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Originally Posted by J_9

I don't think it's too early to TALK about it, but it may be too early to act upon it. How long have you been dating?

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I agree and how long you've been together makes a difference. I do know however that this past weekend my younger brother, 17, just got married to his girlfriend, 19, and in my opinion... getting married that young is crazy. They were only together for 4 months before tying the knot as well. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20 and we've been together nearly 2 years, and we've talked about getting married down the road, after we finish college and whatnot, we're talking about waiting about 5years after college.

It's still very young so be careful to act upon it.. plus, what's the rush? But you only put talking about marriage so hopefully that's all you mean for the near future.

There is no harm in talking about marriage at this point. In fact it could actually be healthy to "talk" about it. That way you can take your time to figure out your dreams, your long term goals, your likes and dislikes.

This will give you time to talk about money issues, how you handle them, and if you're on the same page. It will give you time to talk about career choices, and how you will handle this. It will give you time to talk about any future children, and how many- if any- you will choose to have. It will give you time to talk about your political and religious views, that may affect your marriage and/or children.

Communication and a solid friendship based on respect, is the best way to ensure that a marriage will survive the bumpy roads that every marriage has to endure.

Just asking this question tells me that you are open to advice with "talking" about marriage. Too many young people jump into a marriage these days because they are "in love," but haven't taken the time to think of the long term reality of it.

Good luck to you, and please do your "homework" so you and your girlfriend don't become just another "statistic!"

I was 19 when I got married to my husband, and I believe there is nothing wrong with getting married young as long as YOU ARE DOING IT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS!
How long have you's been together? That will play a major part in the decision. Have you's lived together and are POSITIVE you can put up with each others annoying habits? And are you getting married for the right reasons? A lot of people think the wedding day is the biggest and hardest part of a marriage... this is definitely NOT THE CASE. It will be hard work but only you will know if you's are honestly ready for it. Good luck.

I am going to QUOTE one of our very wise members, that goes by the username, "Dontknownuthin"

The advice given by this member is dead on, and points that must be considered when thinking about getting married. These points are very valid when considering marriage at any age, but more important to consider when getting married at a young age, should you want your marriage to succeed.

Quoting Dontknownuthin

Simply put, more than half of marriages end in divorce and loss of love is rarely the reason. If people stopped loving each other, divorce wouldn't be such a nightmare... All that spewing of hatred and fighting and bickering is just love in a very, very disappointed and hurt stage of the game.

What people end marriages over is often the same things. Money is probably the biggest... not having enough money and not managing money responsibility, or one partner having too much of the financial responsibility is a huge, huge straining factor in marriage. If you are not through college and settled before you get married with some kind of financial start in life, your chances of bringing financial stress into your marriage are 100%

Another huge factor in divorce is infidelity, most often by the man. Why? They are wired to play the field. Mature men have typically gotten this out of their system in their early adulthood. Marrying the guy early does not erase this need - it just delays it. When it will crop up again is anyone's guess. The chances of infidelity being an issue in a very young marriage is huge!

There is also the issue of family support. Family can make or break a marriage, as can friends. You have a lot of friends now? Just wait until you're married and they are single... they will drop like flies. They won't intend to, but your married lifestyle will no longer synch with their young, free lifestyle and you will drift apart. Without family support, that is one more strike against you.

Most marriages fail... at every age. It is astronomically more likely if you are not through your education and/or job training and living as adults separately before you marry.

When will you know you are ready to marry? When you know that your partner has a lot of flaws. When you know that you irritate him. When you've had some good fights and worked through them. When you are not taking any financial help from your parents - for anything. When you have a reliable car, money in the bank, and a decent home that you can afford - an apartment is fine, but affordable and habitable. You are ready for marriage when you have a healthy dose of realistic concerns and know how much work it is to make it work over the long haul.

Romance is wonderful but it fades, and when that happens, you need to have something really, really solid underneath that marriage - the shared love of your families, the shared support of your friends, a shared feeling that being settled is where you are most comfortable, and so on.

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