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-   -   For love or show? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=31581)

  • Aug 13, 2006, 07:34 PM
    Brave Heart
    For love or show?
    I was recently hurt severely by a man... who claimed to love me, but in essence, never had time for me. He moved over a year ago... but is always trying to come back... Never has. Something always comes up. Friends followed him to his present location... one in particular... female. He claims she is just a friend... she says otherwise. Is now living in his home... as a FRIEND. But he loves me so much. He owns his own business... corporation... she is a doctor. Still claims she is just a friend... but she trashes me online behind his back... he gets mad at me for getting upset. She is just his friend he says. Denies her accusations but defends her instead of me. So is this really love he has for me or is he using me? I haven't seen him in a year... not by my choice. I have never been to his house in his new state. I have been begging for time with him for a whole year. My friends... men and women say he is playing me... he denies it. What do you think?
  • Aug 13, 2006, 09:29 PM
    Here_To_Help- Jon
    His actions speak louder than his words do. As the book "He's Just Not Into You" says... if he wanted to be spending time with you... he would be. Period. Move on.
  • Aug 13, 2006, 10:31 PM
    Skell
    You asked the question and my honest answer would be yes, he is playing you.

    He has this other women but he is also keeping you he wants you.

    He wants his cake and to eat it too.

    No way. Don't let him use you like this.

    He loves you?? He hasn't made an effor to see you in over a year? c'mon. He owns his own business and he can't find the time (it wouldn't be money I assume) to see the women he loves.

    Whether he isn't with this other women doesn't really matter. Because he doesn't love you. He doesn't even have any RESPECT for you... No good at all.

    Sorry to say that as it must hurt you a lot but I could only answer in this way.

    I'm sure others will have some more compassionate advice on your best approach for this situation.

    This guy offers you nothing as a partner. You never see him, he lives with another women, he treats her better than.
    He sounds like a real piece of work.

    You'd be a lot better off without this creap in my opinion!

    But right now I say move on with your life and let him be FRIENDS with his doctor.

    Good luck!
  • Aug 13, 2006, 11:33 PM
    maria26
    Move on... as hard as it is to hear it. Are you not worth a mans complete attention... why settle for only half. If a man wanted to be with a woman he would find a way to make it happen and if it has been a year, he had been given plenty of time to take action on his words... and simply put he has not.
  • Aug 14, 2006, 02:43 AM
    JoeCanada76
    Hello! Wake up and smell all the bad odour.

    Sorry, move on. This person is not in love with you.

    Long distance is not good. It may work for a while but when people are not

    Willing to make sacrifices and move then there is a problem.

    It is time to say good bye or do not say anything at all.

    Playing games is not even the word. Playing with your head, your soul

    Your spirit and your mind. You need to do yourself a favour

    And live your life to the fullest. Get out with your friends and stop

    Waiting for somebody that you never ever see.

    Joe
  • Aug 14, 2006, 04:02 AM
    talaniman
    What kind of line has he been feeding you that has you on a string for a whole year? Please send it to me so I can feed it to my bill collectors! Not to be harsh but please stop talking to this man. You've already wasted a year of your life.
  • Aug 14, 2006, 04:09 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Yes, perhaps its true you have wasted time, but I can understand. Don't anymore though - break loose and feel free!
  • Aug 14, 2006, 09:55 AM
    Wildcat21
    What don't you get??

    The answers are there... You're in a FANTASY WORLD. You haven't been with this guy in a year?? HHAHAHA! No he does not love you.

    It's called - leading on...

    Get this scumbag out of your head. If he wanted to be with you he would have a long time ago.

    He is TOTALLY seeing - living with this other woman.
  • Aug 14, 2006, 10:09 AM
    valinors_sorrow
    The only question to ask yourself is why are you hooked up with someone who is unavailable, causing you doubt and pain, acts disloyal and impresses your friends as a player?

    You might also ask yourself what exactly does he do to express his true love for you and does this fit what other people experience? Whatever this is, Braveheart, I got news... this isn't love. Not from him... not from you either, most likely-- although I know that may surprise you.

    I think you've been hurt before this and by more than one too. You stand a good chance of being hurt again if you don't get to the bottom of this too. I know it worked like that for me... shrugs.
  • Aug 14, 2006, 01:39 PM
    Jayjay027
    You're making yourself an easy target for jerks like this!

    All he has to do, is tell you he loves you... and he has you right where he wants u.
    Its been a year since you've seen him??
    And he's LIVING with another woman??

    This guy is a creep...
    Wake up PLEASE.

    He's out there living his life, living with a woman and doing lord only knows what with other women... and meanwhile, you're living like a nun, all because he said he loves you?

    Have respect for yourself. You deserve a man who will respect you and love you and treat you well.
    This guy isn't worth the time of day.
  • Aug 14, 2006, 05:04 PM
    s_cianci
    He is playing you. Drop him like a hot potato!
  • Aug 16, 2006, 01:57 PM
    Bronica
    Desperation isn't sexy... when you no longer need him hell need you. That's life yes move on.. lifes too short.
  • Aug 16, 2006, 02:20 PM
    Wildcat21
    Why don't these people ever write back?
  • Aug 16, 2006, 04:19 PM
    Skell
    Because they probably hear what they don't want to from us!
    They want to hear everything will be OK!

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