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-   -   I love a married person? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=315732)

  • Feb 10, 2009, 12:00 PM
    hee
    I love a married person?
    Actuallyyy I am datin a person who is already is married and has one kid too
    His family is in india and I am in dubai even he too is in dubai

    He loves me a lot and he said that his marrige was forcefully done my his parents

    And his wife likes someone else in india

    What should I do I am so confused since 3 years I noe him and more than 2 years datin

    Now I am feeling that its wrong and how should I leave him I don't noe at all
    Me too I love him a lot


    Advice me
  • Feb 11, 2009, 12:28 PM
    liz28

    Dating a married man will get you no where. If he really wanted to leave his wife and kids he would've been done that but don't you be the reason for it.

    If you want to leave him alone than do just that. You don't owe him alone. Tell him you will no longer be his mistress than stick to your guns and stay away from him regardless if he begs for you to be with him. Tell him to go back to his wife and don't answer his calls.

    You need to find a single available guy not one that is married. What is done is done and can't be undo however you it's never to late to make a wrong right.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 02:25 PM
    dimonthecoast

    I am answering this question from the U.S. but cultural differences should not matter. You have wasted two years of your life with a man who is not available. If he were truly concerned about you, he never would have put you in the position of dating a married man. While you are involved with him, you are not allowing yourself the opportunity to meet someone else.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 12:40 AM
    hee
    You its true it sound stupid and all

    But trust me I have tried all this going away,had a boyfriend in between but then eventually I hv to come to him I think its like I am addicted to him and can't leave

    But this guy is like really serious with me I mean he has proved that bcaz once for a week I stopped talking to him he was in hospital he had taken crocroch powder believe me I had seen from my eyes

    And he says me that he will leave anything for me

    He will divorce and so anything for me marry me again don't noe how to get out of such situation I am scared that he might die if I really leave him again like last time

    Sugguest
  • Feb 12, 2009, 02:17 AM
    Jake2008
    It is highly unlikely he will leave his wife and child, or he would have done this already.

    It is more likely than not, his medical problems are not caused by you.

    If you break up with him, and keep taking him back, you are not serious enough to end it.

    As others have said, married men are off-limits, regardless of what country or culture you live in. Arranged marriages are not uncommon in India as you know, and perhaps some of his physical problems are knowing that it will likely cause a huge rift in his family, and his wife's family as well.

    I suggest that you make a clean break, and find a man who is actually available.

    Married men are not.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 12:42 PM
    dimonthecoast
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by hee View Post
    ya its true it sound stupid and all

    but trust me i have tried all this going away,had a bf in between but then eventually i hv to come to him i think its like i am addicted to him and can't leave

    but this guy is like really serious with me i mean he has proved that bcaz once for a week i stopped talkin to him he was in hospital he had taken crocroch powder believe me i had seen from my eyes

    and he says me that he will leave anything for me

    he will divorce and so anything for me marry me again dnt noe how to get out of such situation i am scared that he might die if i really leave him again like last time

    sugguest

    Anything "forbidden" is always more intense and "addictive." He sounds manipulative, selfish and unstable, do you really want someone like that in your life? Love does not producte negative's (such as addiction, lack of freedom,) it produces peace, which you and he do not have. Also let's say he divorces his wife and marries you, that intensity will subside then what's to keep him from cheating on you since he did not honor his first wife?

    Run, run, run!
  • Feb 21, 2009, 08:58 AM
    starbuck8

    Hello Hee, I see that you're once again back with another "bad relationship" question. As I recall, it was only about 3 and a half months ago, and you were looking to seek revenge on your ex boyfriend, (and his new gf) who had dumped you 5 months earlier. You were thinking of calling his parents and causing trouble for the new girlfriend. because of religious differences. Now just 3 short months later, you are "in love" and "addicted" to someone else's husband! You are a home wrecker is what you are, and you have some serious issues.

    Leave this man and his family ALONE! How dare you interfere in another mans marriage, for your own selfish needs. Obviously college isn't keeping you busy enough. Maybe you need to get a job too, or if you already have one, get another, or pick up some more college courses! You have way too much time on your hands!

    Do you actually think taking enough drugs to end up in the hospital, proves that this man loves you? All this proves is that this man is as unstable as you are, and that you are too needy to be able to stand on your own. This is way too much drama, and has failure written all over it. Your "so called" relationship, was doomed from the start.

    I think some serious counselling with a qualified therapist is in order here. You need to sit down and talk to someone who can help you get to the real issues at hand here, which you need to own up to.

    Stay away from married men, stay away from ex's and their new girlfriends, and their FAMILIES, and do something productive with your life. You are on a fast train to nowhere if you don't.
  • Feb 21, 2009, 11:14 AM
    liz28

    Hee, your everywhere on this site. I think you need to spend time alone with yourself. Get to know yourself and love yourself and set bondaries for yourself. Stop setting yourself up for unnecessary pain, drama and hurt because your looking for love in all the wrong places. Get to know you! How long do you want your life to be a rollercoaster ride?

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