I have been dating a guy for over a year. We broke up last Monday. The feeling I feel is indescribable.

We have known each other for the past 7 and half years. We had a silly "relationship" in grade 8. I really liked him. I remember writing his last name next to my first name all the time. After that break up to a silly relationship of sharing juice box’s and talking on the phone while each other’s parents weren’t home. We went our separate ways. We bumped into each other numerous times over the years. He was on the same bus as my sister in high school and would see me every morning. We talk randomly on messenger. I bumped into him in summer school. Our parents got into a car accident as well. Finally we started talking again and had a wondrous relationship. It all went downhill because the relationship wasn't working. We didn't break up because we stopped loving each other. It was just the best thing to do. He told me he hopes and prays we'll be together again and that our paths will cross as it has so many times... I pray the same thing.

He's confused I think, and needs space.

I just don't know what to do.

I need advice.

First you need to let go in order to start your healing process. Then you start doing things like hanging out with your friends and focusing of yourself because like you said he might be confuse and need space so at this time he can't be with you.

Being that the break-up is fresh you need to give yourself time and take it a day by day because you can't get over someone over night.

If you've things in your house or space that reminds you of him box them up and put it away for now. You two might or might not wine up back together but whatever you do don't hold on to that thought.

Do you've friends that help you along the way because the road of healing might seem like it's a long road but it's up to you how long it is.

Thank you for your kind words...

I should also add that this last month he wanted to break up or take a break 4 times or so. But every time he would come back because he couldn't control himself. He said that he loved me too much, and that we could work through it...

He thinks with his head, not with his heart.
Damn it lol

I also wanted to know what from a guys perspective.. wthell is going on with him! Lol

Well from a guys perpesctive, it sounds like he is confused... he doesn't know what he wants. Sometimes people are just confused, they don't know what they want. This is my own opinion but I think he needs to find himself. I don't know your entire situation so that's the best answer I can give you. But as for you, I agree 100% with liz28. You have to get out and do things that make you happy. My advice is don't hang on to false hope, it will eat you up inside. I went through a similar situation and it did nothing but give me pain. This won't be easy and it won't happen immediately. But once it does you will look back and realized that you have learned. When your feeling down and sad and thinking that you will never get through this... just take a deep breath and say to yourself "I will get through this, I will be ok." Remember your in control here, don't let things get to you. Be strong and I know you will be just fine.

How do you move on when you still love the person and that person still loves you?

When can I talk to him?

And do you think he misses me. In time do you think he will realize what he misses?

I know I have to move on. I am trying. Day by day. (doesn't help valentines day is around the corner!)

You need to stop focusing on him because that's only interferring with you moving on. Stop worring about why he' acting the one he is because it can be a number of reasons. Stop worring about if he misses you or when or if the two of you are going be together.

Right now you're your own mental road block and your putting yourself through unnecessary stress.

Right now he isn't with you and maybe the time isn't right or him confuse or he don't want a relationship, you see the list is endless and only he knows the truth everyone else can only guess.

Accept that it is over and let go than move forward. In the meantime don't call him don't except any calls from him. This only delays things. Remember one day a time.

Sorry! I know I must come off so annoying!

I just can't help but wonder:(
I'm so heart broken.
I know I have to accept it.
But how!

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Originally Posted by I need advice

When can I talk to him?

and do you think he misses me. In time do you think he will realize what he misses?

I know I have to move on. I am trying. day by day. (doesn't help valentines day is around the corner!)

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Like I always say what is meant to be is meant to be. You said he needs space so give it to him, don't contact him. He is the confused one. I know that sounds impossible, but its best for both of you. And you also said that last month he wanted to break up or take a break 4 times, that's not healthy. Don't put yourself through this. Just do it, no other choice. And by the way your not the only one with heartache during valentines day, I just broke up with my girlfriend and its taking every ounce of strength I have not to pick up the phone and call her, but I know it's the right thing to do. You will find your way. I promise. :)

xMaverickx:

What do you think as a guy... what they are going through. I know you won't know what HE is going through, but what would a guy be going through right now?

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Originally Posted by I need advice

xMaverickx:

what do you think as a guy...what they are going through. i know you won't know what HE is going through, but what would a guy be going through right now?

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It doesn't matter whether you are a guy or a girl. Every person will handle a situation differently than another, but I'm sure he is going through a similar experience you are. But don't concern yourself with that, remember it is all about you at this point.

I'm trying to register this. Your giving me such great advice, as are all my friends. How come I can't do it!

Is there a pen like in Men In Black that will make me forget? Lol

Unfortunately no there isn't a Men in Black pen lol. And you can't do it because your saying you can't do it. Don't say that! You can do it and will do it! I can give you all the advice in the world, but guess what? It won't do a thing if you don't help yourself. Don't let your emotions get in the way and listen to that feeling deep down inside, it will guide you. Plus you have this website to talk to people lol. And remember you are not alone, there are other people dealing with this as well, I'm one of them.

Ok. I think I'm ready to take this step. But what hurts honestly is that he's going out and having fun. LOL is that bad? Well that's a general feeling! Also I was SO close their family and him to mine. That's the hardest thing too.

Im seeing him at a party in March. What do I do... besides looking fabulous but at the same time look like I didn't try lol

You never know by March you could have forgotten his name! I split up with my ex 2 - 3 weeks ago and we were going out for about 18 months so in similar boat, what age are you? I went out the next night with my sisters and friends,there were tears at the start of the night but that was it. I now have slight set backs were I think about him but stop focusing on the good times, you split up for a reason remember it. Also don't think about him or try and second guess what he's thinking it'll drive you mad! If he wanted a "break" earlier he's probably been thinking about this for a while. Men tend to think things through were as women tend to act,in matters of the heart at least.

No His name I cannot forget! I'm turning 20 this year. Yah, I went to a club last weekend and felt like crying, and I don't know if it was the alcohol but I WANTED to sms him SO badly. Its so hard when your out having fun and he's not there to dance with, or go home with! And I know. I was going mad, but thanks to all my friends and the advice you all have been giving me... I'm trying to move on. And men... uh men!

Tell me about it but you have to look at the positives now, This is just another chapter in your life you need to get used too, I know it's easier said than done but it'll get easier. I was going out with someone from 17-21yrs old and thought he was the love of my life,turns out he wasn't and I was better off with out him,my best friend actually had to come to my house because I wouldn't/couldn't get off the kitchen floor! My mother thougth I'd lost my mind!! It's easy to remember peoples good points after a break up because you want to and you want to over speculate every little thing they said/did but this does nothing but drive you mad while he's off enjoying himself. What you give out you get back and you'd surprise how many people respond to a smile

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Originally Posted by I need advice

Ok. I think I'm ready to take this step. But what hurts honestly is that he's going out and having fun. LOL is that bad? Well thats a general feeling! Also I was SO close their family and him to mine. Thats the hardest thing too.

Im seeing him at a party in March. What do I do...besides looking fabulous but at the same time look like i didn't try lol

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No that isn't bad, its normal. But you should be going out and having fun also. And don't even worry about this party, go for the right reasons... don't go to make him jealous because it's going to backfire and make you upset. And by the way try to stay away from alcohol, its make you think more and do irrational things that you will regret. I should know lol.

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Originally Posted by xMaverickx

And btw try to stay away from alcohol, its make you think more and do irrational things that you will regret. I should know lol.

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LOL. I know, I'll try:) What did YOU do? I'm curious now!