Ask Me Help Desk - Allegations of sexual abuse

Allegations of sexual abuse

I have been accused of abuse and stand to loose my children. The girl recanted her story now several times. We are getting ready to go to court. They say they "just" believe her statements she made to start with. I have a court appointed lawyer and no money to hire some high powered one. I need help, I am scared to death of the way DHHR operates. Any suggestions will be welcome>

6 month improvement plan

I need help to come up with items for a six month improvement plan for the court. I am trying to be proactive and do the right things to get my kids back. Any help would be really appreciated.

What are the problems that need improvement ? Drinking, drugs, child abuse

Did the court ask you to development your own plan?

Be scared, a lot will depend on what they present in court.

False custodial sexual abuse allegations

I have a hearing in three weeks a conjunctury hearing. The girl is 14. Step daughter, she accused me of sexually touching her, then has recanted her story again and again to the police, school, DHHR and counselor. I think she is going to continue to recant but I don't know that for sure though. I have seven other children and my wife to think of. We had her move out of the house to her mothers so DHHR would give her the kids back. I has been the longest 5 ddays of my life. The reason she left was because if I left, there was no real assurance I wouldn't be near the kids. This way her mother is sort of supervising the kids. DHHR is saying that they believe her statement she originally made. So they substantiated abuse but the police can't really do anything because of her recanting and another sibiling witnessing the events. Now if they flip her again, is where my questions start-- one what does that change for me? With her going back and forth. Two what should I be doing to bolster my case to defend myself. We just had our first hearing a couple hours ago and they gave the children back to my wife at her mothers. I had to agree to have no contact with them until the next hearing. It is so hard. My oldest is 17 he am I are usually joined at the hip,my 14 yr old that this is about, my 13 year old who is my jock, a 4.0 student with his first girlfriend! My next is my 12yr old princess, she is spoiled. Then there is the ornery one,at 10 the smallest in stature but a big heart, then my name sake he looks like me and acts like me. Then my 3 yr old(big) little buddy who I can't help but kiss, then the new one, we haven't figured out where he fits in.Then the baby 3 months old and can't get enough to eat. God help me I can't miss there lives it is why life is worth it to me. I am so involved in every area of there lives, Football, track, weights, choir, band, cupstacking,potty training, pokemon, and all the updates about twilight! Every penny I make goes towards my family I have reserves to hire a high powered attorney. Ive never been on welfare to raise my kids, I spent it on them raising them day to day, I need help. I have to get out from under this cloud and be able to defend any criminal charges. There is so much more to these children's lives that is going to be destroyed. My oldest college, my 13 yr old is captain of his football team with a 4.0 average his whole life, my 12 yr old wants to go into oceanic studies to cure "red tide" for the dolphins,my 10 yr old is already working on a very serious business plan for his future he and his 12 yr old sister are both 4.0 students also. So is my 7yr old(today is his birthday Happy birthday Jeffy) and I can't be there and could possibly not be there for many many more if I don't get some help. Sorry so long I am just so alone and scared right now. I never even knew things like this happened. I will keep checking back. Thank you anyone who takes the time to read this.

You speak so much of the punishments you are facing... but what/why would your daughter make such an accusation??

False custodial sexual abuse allegations

I have a hearing in three weeks a conjunctury hearing. The girl is 14. Step daughter, she accused me of sexually touching her, then has recanted her story again and again to the police, school, DHHR and counselor. I think she is going to continue to recant but I don't know that for sure though. I have seven other children and my wife to think of. We had her move out of the house to her mothers so DHHR would give her the kids back. I has been the longest 5 ddays of my life. The reason she left was because if I left, there was no real assurance I wouldn't be near the kids. This way her mother is sort of supervising the kids. DHHR is saying that they believe her statement she originally made. So they substantiated abuse but the police can't really do anything because of her recanting and another sibiling witnessing the events. Now if they flip her again, is where my questions start-- one what does that change for me? With her going back and forth. Two what should I be doing to bolster my case to defend myself. We just had our first hearing a couple hours ago and they gave the children back to my wife at her mothers. I had to agree to have no contact with them until the next hearing. It is so hard. My oldest is 17 he and I are usually joined at the hip,my 14 yr old that this is about, my 13 year old who is my jock, a 4.0 student with his first girlfriend! My next is my 12yr old princess, she is spoiled. Then there is the ornery one,at 10 the smallest in stature but a big heart, then my 7yr old, name sake he looks like me and acts like me. Then my 3 yr old(big) little buddy who I can't help but kiss, then the new one, 3 months old, and can't get enough to eat. God ,help me I can't miss there lives ,it is why life is worth it to me. I am so involved in every area of there lives, Football, track, weights, choir, band, cupstacking,potty training, pokemon, and all the updates about twilight! Every penny I make goes towards my family I have no reserves to hire a high powered attorney. Ive never been on welfare to raise my kids, I spent it on them raising them day to day, I need help. I have to get out from under this cloud and be able to defend any criminal charges. There is so much more to these children's lives that is going to be destroyed. My oldest college, my 13 yr old is captain of his football team and track team, with a 4.0 average his whole life, I condition and train him, my 12 yr old wants to go into oceanic studies to cure "red tide" for the dolphins,my 10 yr old is already working on a very serious business plan for his future he and his 12 yr old sister are both 4.0 students also. So is my 7yr old(today is his birthday Happy birthday Jeffy) and I can't be there and could possibly not be there for many many more if I don't get some help. Sorry so long I am just so alone and scared right now. I never even knew things like this happened. I will keep checking back. Thank you anyone who takes the time to read this.

It is more helpful on the legal boards if you stick to the question - this is what happened, what can I do. I understand you are upset but you have to see this from the Court's perspective.

You are charged with some heavy crimes. The child accuses and denies and accuses and denies. A trained professional will interview EVERYONE and make a determination as to the truth of the charges and the stability of the parties AND what is in everyone's best interest.

At this point the only thing you can do is comply with Court Orders and Agreements and see where this goes. There is nothing you can do to "bolster" your case. The sad part is that many predators are professionals who hold down jobs and have sterling reputations so the Court does not pay a lot of attention to "recommendations," as such.

I NOTE that you have posted this same thing 5 times. It's counterproductive and please stop. This is most definitely not a message board, chat room or blog.

This has now been posted 5 times. Time to combine the posts and give one story, one time. The story differs somewhat and that gives the impression you are playing games.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

You speak so much of the punishments you are facing... but what/why would your daughter make such an accusation???

We felt she was too young to do several things her friends were doing, serious dating, cellphone, my space. She didn't, she started dating a very troubled young man that her mother and I would have never approaved of, running with friends that started skipping school to "party" and getting to run whenever they wanted to. They were from different home lives. So now She has made the statements and recanted. So if she recants she was a liar and has to deal with doing this and the family. Plus the losing this loose life style she wants, If she goes back on recanting she don't have to deal with me, she gets the support of DHHR. Her mother has to support her or DHHR will view that as she's not in a sound invironnment, which goes to the mothers ability to offer the other children a safe home. I have always been a worrier, we always took an extra outfit, extra pacifier, and neosporin if we go to the park. And lots of sun screen. My children's lives are the most important things I will ever be invloved with, as well as the most rewarding. So yes anything that threatens that has me scared and concerned about anything bad that could happen. I hope this helps. Thank you for replying.

Maybe you should say all of this at the hearing, you clearly love all of your children. Perhaps have them testify in your defence. If you didn't love them you wouldn't have written all of this. I'm sorry for all that you have to go through, the system is simply worried for the safety of your daughter and other children, and with so many wacko's out there they can't tell the good guys from the bad.
I wish you and your family the best of luck in getting through this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gernald

Maybe you should say all of this at the hearing, you clearly love all of your children. Perhaps have them testify in your defence. If you didn't love them you wouldn't have written all of this. I'm sorry for all that you have to go through, the system is simply worried for the safety of your daughter and other children, and with so many wacko's out there they can't tell the good guys from the bad.
I wish you and your family the best of luck in getting through this.

This is certainly supportive but it is invalid legal advice - the fact that a person is accused of abusing one child does not mean he abuses all the others. In fact, the Court most probably will not allow the children to testify.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

This is certainly supportive but it is invalid legal advice - the fact that a person is accused of abusing one child does not mean he abuses all the others. In fact, the Court most probably will not allow the children to testify.

As there was no question that I could decifer I was simply offering my condolences. It wasn't legal adivce it was a suggestion and my sympathy.

Sorry it got reposted I don't know the site, I was backing up to make spelling corrections and fix a couple of sentenses I screwed up sorry. I don't know where to go to to remore the first ones. I had a hard time figuring out how to let me answer you.

I know the 17 yr old can, I am going to see if the judge will speak with my 13 yr old to see if he is mature enough to testify. I know he is, but they have to be willing to even talk to him to consider it.

This question is posted twice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gernald

As there was no question that I could decifer I was simply offering my condolences. It wasn't legal adivce it was a suggestion and my sympathy.

Sorry - I took "Maybe you should say all of this at the hearing, you clearly love all of your children. Perhaps have them testify in your defence" as legal advice or a possibility at trial.

Didn't realize it was only meant to be supportive.

>FOUR Threads Merged<
Please stick to ONE thread for this issue and don't multi post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gernald

As there was no question that I could decifer I was simply offering my condolences. It wasn't legal adivce it was a suggestion and my sympathy.

Unfortunately, this is part of the law forum. As such answers should deal with the law, not emotions.