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-   -   Husband, female friend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=314568)

  • Feb 8, 2009, 02:17 AM
    jaybird0761
    Husband, female friend
    My husband and I have been married about a year now and have a daughter together. He is a very spiritual person and is very into loving thy neighbor and being friends with everyone. All of his male friends live over two hours away and they never really see each other. I am kind of a jealous person. He has been friends with this girl for about three years before we met and when they met she was obsessed with him and really wanted to date him. She really is not his type at all and I know he would never do anything with her but it still bothers me that he is friends with this girl. Well he turned her down when he had the chance to be with her when he was single so I don't know if that should make me feel better or not. She is very nice to me and doesn't seem like a threat at all it just bothers me, him spending time with another girl, but when I bring it up to him he gets mad and says I'm making him lose all his friend. He had another friend butshe lives pretty far away and they would talk over the internet, just about their live and stuff like that, but they would say they love each other. When I brought that up to him he said he loves her as a friend and he didn't see the problem with it. He actually did stuff with this girl though before he met me, that made me very upset he was still talking to her. They didn't have sex but they've seen all of each other. They just seemed like they connected on a whole other level, it made me very uncomfortable and when I talk to him he just doesn't understand, I don't know what to do!:confused:
  • Feb 8, 2009, 02:28 AM
    mishelly3

    I am a married woman also so it makes it hard for me to say llosen up my god my husband has old g/f as well as I have oldb/f we se time to time. I love my man and we both are ver secure in our marriage but we get silly sometimes its just for fun for all of us.
    It sound like you two need to get out alone and go dancing with a group of friends it might help to losen u up a little. I say to some of his friends I love you because we are tight we have hardships togeether and I truly love them for the person they are not anything else. Don't over anylize everything just have fun and loosen up a little.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 01:51 AM
    girlno3
    Ugh jay, I noticed your post was a year ago.. how are you doing now, how did you resolve it? Ugh I'm in the same boat, my husband is the same, very nice person, very liberal and open... he also has 2 sisters and a doting mother! So he's very used to having friends who are girls... sigh.. anywyas, I am definitiely a very jealous person... so he never even talks to other girls except for my one 22 year old friend! She's gorgeous, a mutual friend, great gal... I know shed never do anythign with him but he's been texting her and deleting the messages, and calling her and meeting up with her! Because I don't dogwalk with him, he goes to see her! I think its stopped, I think he feels guilty, but now he just looks so miserable... weve been fighting a lot in our relationship, so I guess he looks to her... he gets angry if I even mention her name as well, we had the same problem with his sister who he adores and now never talks about because I'm too jealous! I know its all my fault but I don't know how to change back to the way we were... he used to always want to talk to his female friends or even have them sleep over at our place or move in with us! I just don't know what to do either, he is in a much better mood when he talks to them, he's giddy around them, a bit cocky around me, and just a much nicer person to be around sigh... I don't know if I can handle his meanness anymore if he can't see them... should we all hang out together? Should I keep talking about them to make him feel better? Should I invite them over for dinner so that he's happy? It just hurts me so much when he talks and talks about these girls its saying their names over and over again to me!

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