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-   -   My girlfriend wants a break what do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=314487)

  • Feb 7, 2009, 07:22 PM
    ochado
    My girlfriend wants a break what do I do?
    Ok here is the story...

    Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while and it was going great, we have a fight here and there but nothing big. We both told each other we loved each other and really did mean it. So then one Wednesday we got into a kind of big fight and she got really mad at me. It went throughout the weekend she wasn't to happy with me. Then Saturday night she says I think we need to take a break. So we talked about it and she said she needs some time to herself and to think about things. So we started takeing a break . The next day she says she really misses me and loves me and made a mistake and wants to get back together soon but not right now. She just wants to take a little bit of time. So time went by and I asked her what she thought about getting back together and she said I don't know it depends and left it at that. I'm pretty sure she still feels the same way about me and everything, and I still feel the same way about her nothing has changed for me.


    Now what do I do?

    Do I ask if she wants to date again?

    What should I say to her?

    What do I ask her?

    What should I say to her to make her want to come back to me?

    How do I get her back?

    Thanks for your Help
  • Feb 7, 2009, 07:33 PM
    Alty

    She's stringing you along and you're letting her.

    Fine, she wants a break, so give her one, but don't let that put your life on hold.

    Call her, tell her that a break means that you're both free to date other people, that you won't be left waiting for her to decide what she wants. She can't have her cake and eat it too.

    Go live your life, if she decides that she wants you back then the ball is in your court, but waiting around for her to decide, that's a dead end.

    Good luck.
  • Feb 7, 2009, 08:51 PM
    _Someone_

    Go and meet her and make things clear.
    If she loves you she doesn't need a brake.(tell her this)
    If she insists having a brake, then give her a break and go No Contact.
    Be sure to tell her that you care about this relationship and about her ,but that you can't wait for her forever. Just don't start begging at her to come back.its just going to make things worse. Don't let her gain power over you.
    Remember No Contact is the solution if she wants a break.Dont worry. If she loves you she is going to come back.
  • Feb 7, 2009, 09:33 PM
    neverme

    Someone is totally right.

    You can't just wait around indefinitely.

    Tell her you love her and you want to continue this relationship then give her the ultimatum.

    Make sure to stick by whatever you say.

    Best of Luck, keep us posted.
  • Feb 8, 2009, 12:21 PM
    talaniman
    Talaniman Rule- When a partner asks for a break, give it to them, disappear from their life, and have a great time doing your own sweet ever-loving thing!!

    If you don't have your own sweet ever-loving thing to do, thats your fault.
  • Feb 8, 2009, 01:10 PM
    dimonthecoast

    I agree with most of the responses - someone wants a break, then give it to them. However, you don't indicate what these arguments were about - the same thing?

    Some people (both sexes) will instigate an argument to cause a rift - either as a prelude/justification for a breakup or just because chaos gives them energy. Either way you don't want to deal with anything less than honesty.

    It is also possible she doesn't want you, but doesn't want anyone ELSE to have you. Or is afraid to be alone. So if you issue the ultimatum, she may come back, but it will only be for a short time.

    No matter what the issues are, you shouldn't have to analyze every nuance of your relationship to figure her out.

    My guess is after you have put some distance (read time) between the two of you, you will see where the "red flags" began to occur. Don't resent her or crucify yourself, just learn from it, grow as a person and pay attention in your next relationship.

    All the best.. .
  • Feb 9, 2009, 06:19 AM
    Romefalls19

    Ask and you shall receive, she wanted a break so give it to her. Disappear from her life and get yours back on track
  • Feb 9, 2009, 08:40 AM
    ardahk

    RUN RUN RUN - please for the sake of your sanity

    I wouldn't be surprised if she has been hiding a guy in her closet..

    Run now or prepare yourself for the worst
  • Feb 13, 2009, 07:00 PM
    Ash123

    I think she is being honest.

    Sometimes we are not meant to be a couple and it doesn't help to fight it... if it weren't for sexual atraction, we wouldn't get ourselves into such crazy situations.

    Make sure soulful attraction is there too.

    She probably felt like your souls were not a match.

    Don't beat yourself up... someone who does match better will come.

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