Hello,
This is a very long story/complex situation. I would like to say before I start that anyone who takes the time to read this and comment, thank you. Here goes...
My ex girlfriend and I had been dating for 2 years. We had a very good relationship (she agreed with this as of when we broke up) this was the first real relationship for both of us. In high school she had asked me to dances and stuff but I never wanted to go with her, not being mean, I just didn't want to go to the dance. I grad. A year before her and went to my state university. I partied, didn't go to class and got kicked out. The spring semester I was back home. She ended up at a party I was having one night, this was spring of her senior year. Well, we started talking after that night (retelling this story hurts so much) and we started dating after a couple of weeks. She had begged me to start dating her,lol. I was stubborn but caved in and thought I would give it a shot. Our dates early on were walks at our local park, watching movies at each other's house, etc. At this time I didn't have a job, I wa sspoiled and my parents were keeping me up. After a while though my dad stopped forking over money so she would pay for dates (food,movies) Well after a few dates like this I felt bad and started working. Time goes on, we do more and really start falling in love. That Aug. we started coll. Together her first time, my second. I was so afraid that somehting would happen and I woul dlose her. Well around our one year anniversary she said that I was cramping her up (I didn't hang out with my friends just her all time, I understood where she came from) she broke up with me, for 2 days, then we were back together, as good as ever. Fast forward to this past christmas.. we went to each other's relatives, you know the whole shabang. Well one of the gifts she had gotten me was a hardback memory album she made on the internet. I actually cried when I opened it. In front of all her family,lol. We were planning on getting engaged the summer after our junior year which was a little over a year away when we broke up. New years eve, she wanted me to stat under control and not drink too much. I drank too much and ruined the night :(. The next day she broke up with me saying she needed time to herself. We talked everyday and even went on a couple of dates up until jan. 25. That night I felt weird because she was calling me more than I would call her but she would never talk about getting back together. She had told me that I was a great boyfriend and that she loved me dearly. I really did do a lot of thngs out of my way to see her or be with her. We both did that was the beauty of it, we both made some mistakes but we always forgave each other and was thankful for each other. Anyway, the night of the 25 she said she didn't want to be tied down and she wanted to be on her own. It killed me, but I started no contact right after that moment. We hadn't ever went without talking so I thought it was the right time to iniate it. I was tired of being lead on/in limbo. It didn't last a day. She texted, the next day she called,the next day she wrote me on Facebook, and the fourth day she called like 6 times in a row. So I made the awful mistake and answered. She was crying wondering why I wouldn't talk to her. She said she wanted to see me, so she drove over to my dorm and we hungout, talked,kissed. She wanted to hangout the next day so we did. We watched movies, had sex (I know the cardinal sin at this period)she said we were talking, and she said she was 90% sure we would get back together. She also said that she kissed a guy drunk once over our break but said I tmeant nothing and felt really bad and weird.She said around valentines day we would start over,fresh. The next day, this was this past Saturday, we talked on the phone and laughed just like we used to. Sunday,Mon. Tues, we talked but it didn't seem the same. So last night I was like ****** lets start talking about what we expect and want when we start new. She said nothing was really wrong with our relationship and that we were fine. BUT she wanted to make for completely sure that I was th eone. B/c we were getting serious. She said she still loved me lots and thought of me all the time but that she had to do this to make sure for herself. She said it would not be fair for us to get back in it until she figured out for sure and wou'ld stop thinking about that. I told her I couldn't be friends right now and that she was taking a huge chance that we may never be together again and she might not ever talk to me again. She said she had to take that chance. The weird thing is as if this isn't weird enough is she said she hopes there is no one else. She said she doesn't want there to be anyone else. We hung up and I sent her a Facebook message telling her Bye and thank you for the past two years, that they were the best years of my life and for her to be good. They were, I had matured so much and was really happy. Later last night she sent me a Facebook message saying Bye, you can call me whenever you want and I will try not to call u even though I can't promise. I had told her that it was hard talking to her and not talking about getting back together. The message went on to say I'll be good, I promise. I love you. I just got a new roommate yesterday and I said somehting about it on my Facebook and last night while I was in bed she sent me a text saying she was glad I got a new roommate.(she must have been looking at my Facebook,lol) I didn't respond.
This is really hard on me, because it seems like everything was pretty good and that she seems to really not want to do this. What should I do? Does it sound like we will ever get back together? Do I have hope? Usually do people find someone worthwhile right after a relationship? I really need help dealing with this, as everyone who is friends with us doesn't really understand what's going on. Any help would be very appreciated.

Some facts that could help I forgot to mention:
-we had a mature relationship, most people were surprised we broke up because it seemed like we were made for each other.
-she joined a sorority last semester, she said she isn't really liking ti that much.
-she doesn't party.
-she has few friends at school because her best ones transferred this past sem.
-she is self consciousness
-we are both pre-med and intend on becoming physicians.
-she said she talks a lot to her mom about us
-she is afraid that there might be someone else since she (and I) have never dated anyone else.
-I love her with all my heart. I would go to hell and back to be with her. It is hard to do anything without a memory of us doing it coming up. We did so many things together. I'm so scared we will never be back together, but at the same time I honestly feel like we are meant to be. Please help me.
-If you need any more details just ask. Thanks.

Come on everybody, I really need some help and console. Surely someone can help me out a little. Thanks.

Right now you need to take a deep breath and step back from the situation.

While you were broken up with your girlfriend, you kept talking to her all the time and being emotionally invested in her. This is not a good plan. All your energy is wrapped up in your ex and it's keeping you from moving on.

First, I'm assuming that your breakup wasn't for any really serious reason, but just one of those "it's-not-you-it's-me" things. If it wasn't, you need to work on the actual problems in the relationship.

Now. What you should do is make a list of all the things you want to do. Go skydiving? Write short stories? Make straight A's? See every Michael Bay movie? It doesn't matter. Keep writing until you can't think of anything else. This is now your What-I-Will-Do-Without-My-Ex-Girlfriend List. Don't worry about dating and don't worry about whether you'll get back together. Instead, concentrate on checking every single item off your list.

Essentially, the list's purpose is to chronicle all the great things you can do now that you're not obsessing over your ex. It's basically a distraction, because worrying about her is a pointless waste of energy. To speak in clichés for a moment: if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, and if you truly love someone, you should set them free. You can't make your ex-girlfriend come back to you.

Of course you should stay in contact. If she decides to date you again, great! If not, you might find that your life is so interesting you don't miss her.

sarahparker:had to spread the rep but great post!

cody: while you were broken up, like sarah said, you were in contact. A lot. And now you do need to concentrate on something other then your x.

like sarah said, you might get back together and you might not.

So what you need to do now is: just focus on you, your friends, family and activities that you enjoy. And that list is a great idea!

You need to distract yourself and shift your focus from her to you.

when she said you spent too much time with her... why did you do that? Do you have friends at uni? Maybe its time to reconnect with them? Or to make new friends.. maybe there are some activities you can join, if you aren't all ready involved in some activities that you enjoy.

and if you do get back together, maybe you need to think about what needs changing, even if she felt the relationship before the break up was a-okay!

Thanks both of you. I am trying really hard but it is so hard because it seems like every little thing relates back to her/us. I miss her an awful lot,so much. It's hard because it seems like she don't really want to this. Mainly because she said she hoped she wouldn't find anyone else and that she loves me. Everyone I talk to thinks this is such a weird situation. My parents think she is dramatizing the situation and making it like some elaborate love story. Her Facebook statuses are always love quotes and lyrics from love songs. It's just so weird. I honestly think it would be easier if she hated me and said we would never betogether in. At the same time I'm glad that at least I have hope. Also, in girl terms what does I just can't be with you right now mean?

It means, I need space, I need time..

Hi codyj

I would like to talk to you about this situation and how is it now?
This is like something I'm going through right now.

Let me know

Rich