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-   -   Relationship at breaking point! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=313472)

  • Feb 5, 2009, 11:48 AM
    sweetgal21
    Relationship at breaking point!
    Hi, Me and My husband have been together for about 3years now and our relationship is at breaking point. My husband is never at home he works and works till late. He was married before and so have I been, he has 4 kids with his ex and they are separated. Lets get to the point he is never at home or here for me and my daughters, he comes home from work about 11pm and then goes to his mums where his kids are and stays there and stays with us only 1 day in a week. I am sure I am not in the wrong to ask him to be here equally they are his kids and I will never stop him from seeing them but he has kids here to and they are very younger then his kids there. I need a bit of support to mentaly and emotionaly I am a young mother and its not easy as I have no one apart from him. Today we had a argument and I told him to not contact me in anyway until he is ready to give us sometime. I feel he does not care and he says he loves me. Did I do right by telling him to not contact us?
  • Feb 5, 2009, 11:52 AM
    Justwantfair

    Why are his children with his mother?
  • Feb 5, 2009, 12:06 PM
    mf08932
    Are your daughters, his daughters?
  • Feb 5, 2009, 12:13 PM
    talaniman

    You've been married 3 years and he is only separated from his ex? Your post is confusing, but if you have had enough, then you did the right thing.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 12:24 PM
    sweetgal21
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Why are his children with his mother?
    No sorry I explained it wrong he's ex is his dad niece and she stays there with the kids as her family is all in pakistan.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 12:26 PM
    sweetgal21
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mf08932 View Post
    are your daughters, his daughters?
    My youngest daughter is his, when I met him I had a daughter and he said he will take us both and look after us, he even taught her to call him dad.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 12:29 PM
    sweetgal21
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You've been married 3 years and he is only seperated from his ex?? Your post is confusing, but if you have had enough, then you did the right thing.
    I am sorry about the confusion, they are divorced and we met a while after and got married about 2 years ago.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 12:33 PM
    Justwantfair

    So he is spending time at his parents with his EX WIFE there??
  • Feb 5, 2009, 03:08 PM
    sweetgal21
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    So he is spending time at his parents with his EX WIFE there???
    Yes exactly the point I am trying to put across to him that him staying there everyday there is something not right he said "i am only there for my kids". I have told him to stay away unless he can change his ways and to be honest I am going to be strong for my kids I may not have family but I have my daughters and will not tolerate this anymore.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 03:21 PM
    talaniman

    I am with you! He needs a better plan as this one doesn't work in everyone's favor.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 03:59 PM
    Justwantfair

    Good luck and God bless, girl.

    I wouldn't tolerate it either, he married you and apparently he isn't worried about failed marriages as he is about to add another to his list.

    Cut all communication, you are better off working on your family alone.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 04:17 PM
    sully123

    I am 100% on your side. You did the right thing, either tell him to shape up or ship him out. You don't deserve that.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 04:34 PM
    neverme

    Don't let the door hit him on the way out. You absolutely did the right thing, and if you ever doubt that remember that you don't want that type of behaviour as a model for your children.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 04:45 PM
    sweetgal21
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by neverme View Post
    Don't let the door hit him on the way out. You absolutely did the right thing, and if you ever doubt that remember that you don't want that type of behaviour as a model for your children.
    Yeh I guess. I will be honest with you all that have helped by answering I will find it hard because he was there when life fell apart. I still won't let my daughters go through what I did I decided to have them and now I will make sure I protect them and make sure they have the best. I am finished with men I have no trust in them in any way. Thank you all so much for your advice and views. Xx
  • Feb 5, 2009, 04:53 PM
    sully123

    Think about this sweetgal, don't regret what you did. He isn't worry about your feelings and how he is hurting you. Your children come first, right now. GOOD LUCK.
  • Feb 6, 2009, 04:52 AM
    sweetgal21
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sully123 View Post
    Think about this sweetgal, don't regret what you did. He isn't worry about your feelings and how he is hurting you. Your children come first, right now. GOOD LUCK.
    Thank you sully123. Well he called me lastnite and was saying sorry and was asking for another chance but he would still say I don't understand, what is there to understand? I have even been saying to him he can bring his kids here when ever he wants that way he is spending time with all of his kids here but that is like me saying it to a brick wall and not getting a response what so ever. I explained to him again lastnite as he kept phoning but honestly I can not believe how some people can change and be so stone hearted. I have decided to change my number he is not worth anything.
  • Feb 6, 2009, 05:06 AM
    sweetgal21
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sully123 View Post
    Think about this sweetgal, don't regret what you did. He isn't worry about your feelings and how he is hurting you. Your children come first, right now. GOOD LUCK.
    He said to me I am there for my kids, because I have heard this from him so much I said to him "how would you like it if my ex hubby came here to see his daughter every nite and also stayed?" he stayed silent. I cut of my ex completely because my husband took responsibility he said he wanted to look after us especially my daughter as he felt bad for her due to her father being the way he was. Now she asks for him and I don't have answers.

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