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-   -   How do you know if it is love? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=31345)

  • Aug 10, 2006, 08:41 AM
    Kadehadaire
    How do you know if it is love?
    How do you know if it is love? Silly question, and most likely a cliché, but how can you be sure?
  • Aug 10, 2006, 11:26 AM
    Wildcat21
    Love takes time... love is real... love true - with respect for each other unconditionally, trust.

    People ALWAYS confuse smitten, lust, infatuation etc. with love.
  • Aug 10, 2006, 04:29 PM
    Skell
    Yes wildcat is right.
    It won't be love if you have only just met her. You will grow in love with a person over time as you get to know them

    You will know it is love as much by the feelings you get back from your partner as your own. The feeling of being in love is only bettered by the feeling of knowing your partner loves you too.

    But these feelings develop. They don't just appear!

    I'm assuming you have a partner and are wondering if the feelings you have are love? Or what prompted this question?
  • Aug 10, 2006, 04:40 PM
    valinors_sorrow
    Appropriate concern of hurting or being hurt makes you cautious of love at first. Curiosity about love keeps you investigating. Consistent experience lets you build trust of love. Thrilling feelings talks you into risking vulnerability for love. Communication and lots of it grows the love deeper. But it really is TIME (with all those other things present too) that tells you that it is indeed REAL LOVE.
  • Aug 10, 2006, 04:43 PM
    Skell
    Exactly what I was thinking val but had trouble putting it in words.
    Isn't it a very difficult thing to answer? How do you know if it is love? It is a hard feeling to describe.
    But you did it magnificently as usual val.
  • Aug 10, 2006, 06:04 PM
    s_cianci
    How do you feel about the person? How do you relate to them on a day-to-day basis? Do you feel a genuine sense of empathy for them and is their well-being at the forefront of your concerns? How about when your interests clash? Do you seek a workable compromise or do you hold out for things to go your way or become angry and resentful if they don't? Do you truly enjoy being with them and do you miss them when they're not around? These are some things to ask yourself when trying to decide whether it's love.
  • Aug 11, 2006, 02:56 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Skell
    Yes wildcat is right.
    it wont be love if you have only just met her. you will grow in love with a person over time as you get to know them

    You will know it is love as much by the feelings you get back from your partner as your own. The feeling of being in love is only bettered by the feeling of knowing your partner loves you too.

    But these feelings develop. they dont just appear!

    im assuming you have a partner and are wondering if the feelings you have are love? or what prompted this question?


    It is like noting I have ever experienced. I crave his company, even for just a second in a day. He says he is in love with me, but I have never felt it. Certainly I am feeling more strongly than I ever have, but I don't want to rush anything. I mean, there is time after all for things to be affirmed, right?
  • Aug 11, 2006, 02:57 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow
    Appropriate concern of hurting or being hurt makes you cautious of love at first. Curiosity about love keeps you investigating. Consistent experience lets you build trust of love. Thrilling feelings talks you into risking vulnerability for love. Communication and lots of it grows the love deeper. But it really is TIME (with all those other things present too) that tells you that it is indeed REAL LOVE.

    Yes, I think you are right. I mean, I don't mind if it takes the rest of my life!
  • Aug 11, 2006, 02:59 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by s_cianci
    How do you feel about the person? How do you relate to them on a day-to-day basis? Do you feel a genuine sense of empathy for them and is their well-being at the forefront of your concerns? How about when your interests clash? Do you seek a workable compromise or do you hold out for things to go your way or become angry and resentful if they don't? Do you truly enjoy being with them and do you miss them when they're not around? These are some things to ask yourself when trying to decide whether or not it's love.

    Every time I see him I am in a good mood. We are very verbal together, and we challenge one another every day. We have clshing interests, but it seems so unimportant. Yes to everything good - scary!
  • Aug 11, 2006, 03:29 AM
    cheechthecheechy
    just asking... so infatuation is like having a crush on someone, and love is 2 people crush on each other?

    I know love, but not that technical details =P
  • Aug 11, 2006, 03:36 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by cheechthecheechy
    just asking... so infatuation is like having a crush on someone, and love is 2 people crush on each other?

    i know love, but not that technical details =P

    :p I have no idea! It is so complicated! Ha ha ha!
  • Aug 11, 2006, 03:47 AM
    cheechthecheechy
    I think I got it correct.

    Infatuation is a crush on someone, someone you really really admire or like. Pretty superficial stuff.

    Love is when its 2 way feelings. You both love each other. More realistic, and mature.
  • Aug 11, 2006, 03:48 AM
    Krs
    Love comes in time. Love comes when you are both in love with each other and would do anything for one another.
    Love can often be mixed up with lust.
    Like lust at first sight!
  • Aug 11, 2006, 04:05 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Well certainly I am attracted to him, no doubt, but it is more than that. I don't want anyone else to have him ever, and I don't want anyone else.
  • Aug 11, 2006, 04:06 AM
    Krs
    Sounds like you are falling in love...
  • Aug 11, 2006, 04:15 AM
    Kadehadaire
    I am scared to.
  • Aug 11, 2006, 04:17 AM
    Krs
    Why?
  • Aug 11, 2006, 04:18 AM
    Kadehadaire
    I think it is just because its so final, and also that it could end. It feels like I have this huge thing to lose, which is wonderful and scary too.
  • Aug 11, 2006, 04:19 AM
    Krs
    Is the feeling between you mutual?
  • Aug 11, 2006, 04:21 AM
    Kadehadaire
    He says that there is no other for him and that he will marry me. He says in time I will come to see that it simply cannot be any other way, lol :p He is older than I am and he knows what he wants. I am still young and finiky!

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