Evicting an adult family member?
Hi folks;
This is a long story, so I'll try to be as concise and brief as possible. Six months ago, my married niece (28, two kids at the time) decided to locate her birth father (sister's high school b.f.). My sister and her husband were so outraged, they temporarily disowned her and have not completely forgiven her. At the same time, niece's husband ran off with another woman. My niece was pregnant at the time. Long story a bit shorter, my niece asked my mom if she could move here (one state away). My mom (80) agreed. Unfortunately, she laid down no ground rules or time-lines, except that my niece and her kids couldn't eat in any room of the house except the kitchen.
My mom is going broke paying for my niece's cell phone bill, car payment, gas, cigs, etc. Mom's light bill has tripled. My partner and I give my mom approximately 480 dollars a month to help supplement, but it's barely making a dent. My niece receives WIC and food stamps, which helps, but she never applied for cash assistance. Two months ago, the baby was born, so my mom's house is now truly chaotic.
My niece promised that she would find work in a reasonable amount of time after her baby's birth. She submitted online applications and resumes before the birth of the baby. After the new year, many places called and wanted to set up interviews. My mom is distraught, because my niece kept putting off interviews with a company that is an excellent place to work in our area- plus, she completely blew off an interview with an insurance company. The guy who was going to interview her called the house to find out where she was. When my mom quizzed my niece, my niece told her she already had her interview "online". My mom believes this was a lie, obviously.
Last weekend, my mom called to report that my niece's friend died in a car wreck, and my niece was going back to her home state to attend the funeral. Niece was crying and distraught and we all felt badly for her. She reported that her cell phone had been disconnected, so my mom gave her a ton of money to get it reconnected. Mom also filled up her mini-van with gas and I provided her with cash that would have more than paid for gas and meals for her return trip. My niece told us she was going to stay with one of her girl friends. She returned this last Monday.
Well... two nights ago, my sister called (niece's mom). She tried pumping me for some info on my niece, which makes me nervous. My sister wanted to know if my niece had phoned me from her cell phone last weekend. I said no. My sister said niece had shut her phone off all weekend and told her it was disconnected. I said "It was! Mom paid to have it reconnected." Sister replied that when phones were disconnected, there was usually a message relaying as much. She said niece's phone was simply turned off, because she could leave a message for my niece. I said that niece had been to a funeral and perhaps didn't feel like talking. My sister then said "Would you drive five hours to the funeral of somebody who's last name you didn't know?" She then informed me that when she asked my niece who had died, my niece could not provide the last name. Only the first name, saying she didn't know the friend's married name. My sister said that my niece also did not know the name of the church the funeral was at, nor did she have any sort of program or remembrance token from the funeral.
My sister did a search of all the area newspapers, including the alleged victim's hometown, and there was no obit for her, or anybody with that name. Additionally, my sister says that she believes my niece and her husband are getting back together and my niece doesn't want any of us to know, because a) she's done nothing but complain about him and b) he treated her like crap.
Intrigued, I asked my grand niece (while I was taking her to school) where they stayed last weekend. She informed me that they stayed at their dad's folks (he lives with his folks). I asked if her mom had gone to a funeral, and she asked "what funeral?".
I acknowledge that my sister is way more involved in my niece's life than is normal. My mom didn't know all my details when I was that age. At the same time, I feel incredibly taken advantage of, and furious that my mom has been working overtime to help support my niece and her kids. I don't understand how my niece could whip up tears and lie like she did in order to have us finance a weekend with her husband (who is also broke).
I asked my mom to call me from her work place today. I can't talk with her on her home phone, because my niece is always there. I plan to tell her what really went on this last weekend. I think this may be grounds for eviction. We've supported my niece and she's really made no headway here. The lying is just the cherry on top of the cake.
Any objective advice would be welcome right now. I'm so far into this, I don't even know what's rational thinking any longer.
