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-   -   He doesn't call as much as I want. Could he be that busy (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=313003)

  • Feb 4, 2009, 12:25 PM
    PhyllisDarlyn
    He doesn't call as much as I want. Could he be that busy
    We are old friends, lost contact for about 10 years. Once we both got separated from our spouses we met up. This was in Nov. We have great conversations on the phone and text. When we are together it is wonderful. He saids he is crazy about me, he enjoys me, he respects me, etc. I enjoy everything about him, but I wish he would call more. He saids he very busy at work and has different projects going on. Do you think he could be as interested as he say and be that busy that he could go about 3 to 4 days without calling. I don't want to seem clingly so I haven't called. We last spoke on Fri. This is new to me. I do have a life but I just look forward to hearing from him. HELP
  • Feb 4, 2009, 01:23 PM
    RLC1686

    This is always a tough situation but I wouldn't get too crazy about it Some guys just aren't phone people... I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we are currently living 4 hours away from each other. At first, I got frusterated and annoyed with him when he wouldn't call me all the time because I wanted that sense of connection but I've been learning, he is just not a phone person. After work, he liks to just go home, work-out, relax etc.

    You could always start with sending a casual text message asking him how his week is going. Besides, this way you will have more to talk about when you see each other.
  • Feb 4, 2009, 01:29 PM
    ja77

    Communication - Communication - Communication

    This is a big key to any relationship - you need to talk honest and let this person no the way you feel and what you really want.

    If you have reason to ask this question I would see that there maybe some trust issues that you have.
  • Feb 4, 2009, 01:39 PM
    RLC1686

    I agree with Ja though, if it continues, being open and honest is the most important
  • Feb 4, 2009, 01:42 PM
    kaitou

    Well, did he used to call more often? Or has it always been this way?

    If it has always been this way, then I think its quite normal. He probably think its OK to call you a few times a week, instead of everyday.

    Are you guys just dating? Or in a committed relationship?

    If you guys are just dating, I don't think you should be so demanding so early. Like you said, you don't want to appear clingy. Why don't you write him emails instead?

    With the guy I'm currently dating, we exchange email everyday, and he calls a few times a week. When work is too busy, he would write a short message, apologizing for not writing to me, or he'll call me and tell me that he's busy. Just so I know :)

    I don't know how close the two of you are, but I think for now, you should keep it light and easy with him. You're both still getting to know each other. Give him his space, and continue living your life.
  • Feb 4, 2009, 01:43 PM
    ISneezeFunny

    I have to say, although I am a techie kind of guy (2 blackberries, palm pilot, and PDA on me at all times), and I'm always on the phone (I go through two bluetooth earpieces everyday due to talking), I rarely call the girls I date. This is not because I don't want to talk to them, but after being on the phone with meetings/business for five hours, you just want a break.

    Have you tried calling him instead and opening up a line?
  • Feb 4, 2009, 03:46 PM
    roxypox

    Like some of the others have said, I wouldn't worry too much. It might not be as bad as you fear. And like it has been suggested, he might just not be a phone person.

    But the txt that RLC suggested is a good idea, it'll give you a way of opening up a 'line' between you, or you could call an hour or two after he's done working (if you know when that is, besides if he talks a lot on the phone, then you'll give him the chance to have a 'phone-break' if he uses the phone a lot when he is at work.
  • Feb 4, 2009, 04:04 PM
    MarkwithaK

    Maybe he is not a phone call type of a guy. I know I certainly am not. More often then not females tend to want to have a fairly long discussion. After 10 minutes tops I'm off in my own little world thinking about other things.
  • Feb 5, 2009, 09:10 AM
    RLC1686

    It is really funny that after I responded to this message, I am having a phone issue. Me and my boyfriend discovered the way we would stop fighting is if we stop talking so much on the phone but last night for instance I had a personal family issue I wanted to talk about. I got really offended when he left to watch TV when I was still in the middle of talking about something that was important to me. He said he thought I was finished talking but it still bothered me so much. I have been trying to be very compliant to the fact that he doesn't like talking on the phone but every once in awhile I wish he would think of my needs instead of his immediate self gratification
  • Feb 5, 2009, 05:15 PM
    liz28

    He already warned you before that he is busy with work because he's working on different projects.

    Also, even though he express interest in you it seems like the two of you are just friends right now so, not to sound harsh or mean and don't take this the wrong way, he really isn't obligated to call you but it does seems likes he is trying to touch base with you when he has the time to.
  • Feb 17, 2009, 04:26 AM
    beach_boys

    You do seem clingy. Give it time.

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