Hi my name is sharon I'm 39 and single,I've been treated badly by men in the past from lying to cheating on me this has damaged me so bad that when I do meet a nice guy I ruin it straight away with my misstrust and insecurities,I can't give him a chance because I think he's just lying about everything.

This is ruining my life in so unhappy and lonely and I need help but don't know were to go for it..

Please can someone help me break this cycle?

Actually, I am experiencing something similar since a long time. I cannot take away my insecurities, but I was trying to do the following thing to make it work:
-Think of that you are never bound in a relationship. See a relationship as only friendship. What happens if he cheats on you? Well, since it is a friend, you should not have any expectations on fidelity, and allow yourself to maybe not cheat, but meet new male friends, so that you feel safe in yourself, like
Getting emotional back-ups. Having several platonic friendships, will perhaps do that it will take much longer time to get into a real relationship, but that the guy you like might fall in love by you being "hard to catch".

This was a theory of mine from the beginning, and it did work. The problem is, that in my case, I fell in love with two, so I got only so emotionally stressed instead, that I could not handle it. So when I was left with only one guy, I got into this insecurity cycle now again, and feel like I am in constant pain and fear. Perhaps can you and me help each other...

Your experiences have altered yourself worth. You need to spend some time finding things in life that make you happy. Find things that you are good at and that make you feel good about yourself. You cannot be a good partner to anyone until you feel awesome about the who you are and see the wonderful things about you that would make any man lucky to have you. Don't allow the bad guys to make it impossible for you to find happiness!

Go to the library and get "Co-Dependant No More" by Melody Beattie.

Next, if you have had any parent that was an alcoholic or an ex-boyfriend or husband that was; you need to get to:

How to find a meeting in the US/Canada/Puerto Rico

Look for "Adult Children of Alcholics" in your area if any one of your parents were heavy drinkers and attend for minimum six weeks (once per week), if you don't think it's helping they will refund your misery. If parents were not heavy drinkers, perhaps a grandparent was or someone else in your family whose behaviors may have affected you.



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You can recover, but you need to become aware of what effect the relationships have had
On you. Furthermore, the skills you will learn in these meetings over time will help you not
Volunteer for more of the same type of relationships and will steer you to the self love which will lift you out of this cycle you are in in.

God bless.