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-   -   Genius or Ranting Lunatic? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=310976)

  • Jan 31, 2009, 12:04 AM
    liz28
    Genius or Ranting Lunatic?
    While I was on the internet I stumble across this and found it funny so I am posting it here.

    Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

    Do you suffer from shyness?
    Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

    Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness w ill be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

    Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila® However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
    You are not.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
    Over again that you love them.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
    Really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
    ~~~~~~~~~~~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

    WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your a** kicked.
  • Jan 31, 2009, 11:32 AM
    twinkiedooter

    Oh, you forgot one very important Warning - The floor will come up and hit you in the face repeatedly when you consume alcohol.
  • Jan 31, 2009, 12:00 PM
    artlady

    That is hysterical and so darn true.:confused:

    I think I've committed every one of those Tequila fun times :)

    Thanks :cool:
  • Jan 31, 2009, 07:33 PM
    liz28

    Don't worry your not alone, I've too.
  • Apr 12, 2009, 03:16 PM
    mudweiser

    Ha! Almost makes me think of the saying:

    Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.

    Sarah
  • Apr 12, 2009, 05:22 PM
    mygirlsdad77

    They forgot to mention that its very addictive, and if you go without it for too long, your right back where you started. Feeling even less assertive and trying to find people to appoligise to for what you did while on the tequila. Very important,(once you start the tequila) to stay with it, and make sure you don't run out, or your going to start remembering things that you really don't want to remember. Lol. This is way to true,, uh oh, I need another shot of that stuff, see you all in the funny papers.
  • Apr 14, 2009, 03:08 AM
    shazamataz

    Hail Tequila! Going to save that one! Lol
  • Apr 17, 2009, 12:58 PM
    roxypox

    Too funny Liz, Too funny! I am literally LMAO! :D
  • Apr 18, 2009, 01:30 PM
    Catsmine
    Excellent!!

    Last time I took Tequila@ it took four cars full of San Diego cops to put me in jail(they tell me). I was still walking hours after I passed out.

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