My soon to be 5 year old is obsessed with being first at everything. First up the stairs, first to arrive at school, first on in the door, first walking up the block etc. I've talked to her teachers who say she does try to be first for projects, but will accept the "it's not your turn to be first today answer". Her gymnastics coach tells me that it's her "natural drive" and that I shouldn't try to control it. I'm her mother and I find it offensive when she's pushing past people to be the line leader. I can only imagine what the mother of the child she is pushing past must think. I don't know how to get her to understand that she can't be first always! Any suggestions?

Explain to her that it's not good to be first at everything. Think of things that aren't good about being first at. If that doesn't work, just let it go. My younger brother used to do that... "I wanna be the first to get out of the car!" "I wanna try before her!" As he got older it started to stop. When she starts to think she's too cool for everything else, that means she maturing. Then she will stop acting so childish and won't mind about who goes first.

Try making a game up. The slowest to ____ is the winner.

Being first is just another stage kids go through. You can always try talking to her and give her an example on how it makes others feel. For example :

"When you shove Betsy out of the way to be first it really hurts her feeling. I know you wouldn't like that"


Sarah