So my brother got a girl pregnant on a one night stand. He wasn't sure it was his and had oppurtunity to move out west and better his life, which he took. The girl gave birth and the perternity test came back that he is the father. So now the baby and mother live in Ohio and he lives in Arizona. They have a child support hearing in a month. He took time off work and bought a plane tickets back to Ohio for the hearing. She is denying him to see their child without her being there. Yet she allows our mother to watch the baby every other weekend. He has set it up on the trip back for the hearing for her and their child to come over for a visit he wants to meet his son. But would like to one day have alone time with his son to create his own relationship with his son. What rights does he have being the father. And even though he lives far away is it possible for him to get some sort of visitation if he wants to be apart of the child's life? The mother is being very difficult. Please give me some advise on what he can do?
Also she gave the child her last name, is there anyway with him being the father and soon to be paying child support to request their son having his last name?
Let me also mention he has another child with an ex which is 21 moths old, which he is currently working things out with right now in Arizona.

All of this has to be worked out in court, when two people can't meet on common ground.

How much would it cost for him to take it to court?

That's something the county clerk can tell you. Filing fees are different around the country.

A free consultation with an attorney is the best option.

You don't "work things out" you go to court and get a court order for visits. If he has no such order she does not have to allow him to see the baby.

So as part of the chid support hearing has he filed for visitation in court
If he has not filed he has no reason to complain, since that is how it is properly done.

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Originally Posted by suzyq842

How much would it cost for him to take it to court?

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In my area of NY it's free, no charge to file in Family Court (which handles these matters). Obviously if an Attorney is involved there's an hourly or flat fee but that varies from place to place.

Your brother needs to go to Court to settle custody/vistation/support for BOTH children because any side deals cannot and will not be enforced and any support money paid without a Court Order will very possibly be considered gifts and he will have to pay back support, usually from the date the mother files.

He can go to court and it will be resolved... probably not in his favor as much as he would like but it will still be resolved. Oh and the baby will more than likely keep the mothers name... which I totally understand the mother wanting to do that. So my advice to your brother would be... go to court and learn to keep it in your pants!

What would visitation be like if he lives in Arizona and she lives in Ohio?

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Originally Posted by suzyq842

What would visitation be like if he lives in arizona and she lives in ohio?

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Do we know how old the child is? Your brother has to be practical. A young child simply cannot fly off to spend time with a stranger, even if the stranger is the biological father. As the child gets older, requires less "hands on" care by the mother and comes to know the father, then visitation becomes more liberal.

This is a hard situation due to the distance.

I would expect your brother to get visitation - in the State where the mother resides and perhaps it will be supervised visitation due to the age of the child (depending on the age of the child).

The age of this child is important. He cannot expect to have very much alone time with an infant to bond.

If he chooses to live far away from the child then he will have to arrange for visitation. Until the child is old enough to travel by itself, he will have to do the visiting.

So he needs to figure out what he wants to do and then petition a court for that. He can probably combine this all as part of the support hearing.

Finally, he needs to be educated about birth control and keeping it in his pants. Otherwise he's going to leave a string of kids behind him.

The child is 4 months old. He understands that there's not much he can do as of now besides when he goes back to visit family set up a visit with his son. But she is telling him no matter what she will never allow their son to fly out here. He is deciding to stay in Arizona. Due to the economy and he hasa very good job that he is moving up in. where in cleveland everyone is losing their jobs. It is in his best interest to stay in Arizona but he doesn't want that to stop him from having a relationship with his son. So if he keeps making the attempts to visit when he's out there he should be able to petition for visitatins when the child is older to fly out to him?

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Originally Posted by suzyq842

the child is 4 months old. he understands that theres not much he can do as of now besides when he goes back to visit family set up a visit with his son. but she is telling him no matter what she will never allow their son to fly out here. He is deciding to stay in arizona. Due to the economy and he hasa very good job that he is moving up in. where in cleveland everyone is losing their jobs. It is in his best interest to stay in arizona but he dosent want that to stop him from having a relationship with his son. so if he keeps making the attempts to visit when hes out there he should be able to petition for visitatins when the child is older to fly out to him?

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Well, she may eventually not have any say in the matter. It's a matter that will need to be sorted out in court, however.

All he can do is ask the court and let them decide.

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Originally Posted by suzyq842

the child is 4 months old. he understands that theres not much he can do as of now besides when he goes back to visit family set up a visit with his son. but she is telling him no matter what she will never allow their son to fly out here. He is deciding to stay in arizona. Due to the economy and he hasa very good job that he is moving up in. where in cleveland everyone is losing their jobs. It is in his best interest to stay in arizona but he dosent want that to stop him from having a relationship with his son. so if he keeps making the attempts to visit when hes out there he should be able to petition for visitatins when the child is older to fly out to him?

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The Court will decide what is and is not "allowed." The mother can say anything she wants but once there's a Court Order she will either obey it or be held in contempt.

My only other thought is that you are jumping far, far ahead here. The child is 4 months old and won't be flying anywhere for quite some time. Your brother should concentrate on the here and now at this point, get an Order, get it amended as circumstances change. All the discussion and worrying about the future is probably counter productive.

You very obviously care about him and support him. You are probably the one to tell him no more children, at least for a while and, hopefully, he will listen to you before he causes himself any more emotional (and financial) distress.