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-   -   How can I move out of state with my son when there is a court order? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=310121)

  • Jan 29, 2009, 12:38 AM
    neednadvice
    How can I move out of state with my son when there is a court order?
    Does anyone know of a way to fight a court order and move out of state with my son? Currently he spends 1/2 the time with the father and 1/2 with me. Our judge at 1 point put me on supervised visits ordererded me into anger managemrent. After a few monthes his father took me off the visits giving me 50 50 with the understanding he would attend a daycare facility his wife worked at and we didn't exchange child support. He has since wrote to our judge with lies that I am able to prove. He has shown many signs of parental alienation including missing 1 of my visits without notification, accusations of slight sexual abuse stating my son has seen me and my current boyfriend in an inappropriate manor, allowing my son to call his wife mama, and at 1 point my son told me his father told him to say he didn't like it at my home nor did he likes us. Ive also heard from my son that he doesn't like sisters because Im pg with a girl and he has 2 step brothers at his dads house, I asked on video once if anyone was telling him to say that and he started to say "his mama" but then eventually stated her name. In the letter to the judge he also stated I should move out of state without my son however weeks later wrote up a propsal that would allow me to move with him but did not want to financially help me support him and wanted me to pay the travel costs for him to see his son numerous times a yr. When we go back to court there is honestly negativity on both from us constantly bickering and arguing and cussing at each other threw email and archives to where I did not bring my child dinner in the beginning of my visits and pulled on him a little hard once and he said "ouch" loudy, to where he missed a visit without notification brought the child soiled to a visit once with no change of clothes and sexual abuse in his home reported by my child to CASA. My main question is what should I expect in court next month. I would really love to move out of state with my child however understand it could be very unlikely with a court order. I would like for the judge to see that my ex is not concerned about our son at all but more so about his pocket. If anybody would, please give me advice in proving this to the judge and possibly pointers as to beating the court order and being able to move out of state.
  • Jan 29, 2009, 05:10 AM
    stevetcg

    You want advice? Get a lawyer. That is about the only chance you have of getting full custody. Your case shows a lot of signs of "he said, she said" and frankly, a judge has better things to do that listen to parents bicker.

    I am not a judge and of course don't know full details, but if I were you, I would get comfortable where you are because I don't see it changing.
  • Jan 29, 2009, 03:24 PM
    cdad

    How old is this child ? And quite frankly it sounds like you both need to grow up and start acting like responsible parents. I believe that when your asking for a way to " beat " the court orders your really asking to do something illegal. That's not even close to being allowed in these forums. You both need to stop trying to use the child as a pawn because the courts may catch on and you both will be childless.
  • Jan 29, 2009, 04:08 PM
    this8384

    You need an attorney because no judge is going to let one parent move away and take a child, especially when there is shared placement(I assume this because you said he spends half the time with the father and half the time with you). Not to mention that you've already been ordered to attend anger management.

    Quite frankly, I don't believe that your ex is the only party doing wrong in this case. You're picking at ridiculous things, like your child having an accident and trying to make it seem as if it's someone's fault; kids have accidents, that's part of life. I would hate to have to sit in court listening to you two argue.
  • Feb 1, 2009, 05:49 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by this8384 View Post
    You need an attorney because no judge is going to let one parent move away and take a child, especially when there is shared placement(I assume this because you said he spends half the time with the father and half the time with you). Not to mention that you've already been ordered to attend anger management.

    Quite frankly, I don't believe that your ex is the only party doing wrong in this case. You're picking at ridiculous things, like your child having an accident and trying to make it seem as if it's someone's fault; kids have accidents, that's part of life. I would hate to have to sit in court listening to you two argue.

    In view of the second thread, I agree with This8384, Califdad and Steve.

    (Out of greenies.)
  • Feb 1, 2009, 05:56 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    It is not going to happen, in fact you need to work on the relationship with the child to keep your current level from my limited view point on the read here.

    You will need an attorney to even try, but will have to agree at some very least,
    1.pay all travel costs, give longer visits over summer and on all holidays

    But if the other party does not agree, it just will not happen if he is being a good parent ( actually if he is not a danger he is going to keep his visits, this silly I said, he said will not fly in court)

    The plain and simple fact, you want to take away the visit rights of a father who at one time had the primary custody and let you get the vsist status you currently have.

    It just will not happen.
  • Feb 2, 2009, 02:05 AM
    neednadvice
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    it is not going to happen, in fact you need to work on the relationship with the child to keep your current level from my limited view point on the read here.

    You will need an attorney to even try, but will have to agree at some very least,
    1.pay all travel costs, give longer visits over summer and on all holidays

    But if the other party does not agree, it just will not happen if he is being a good parent ( actually if he is not a danger he is going to keep his visits, this silly I said, he said will not fly in court)

    The plain and simple fact, you want to take away the visit rights of a father who at one time had the primary custody and let you get the vsist status you currently have.

    It just will not happen.
    Taking away his right not at all. Im not trying to alienate him as a father as he does to me. My son came home to me Friday telling me his father told him to say he was scared of me. He is putting things in his head using him against me. Him the primary care giver for what 3 monthes. I was a navy wife and took care of this child ALONE WITH NO HELP for monthes at a time because the father went to sea when he was only for 4 days old... talk about primary care giver.I WAS IT FOR 3 1/2 YRS!!
  • Feb 2, 2009, 06:00 AM
    stevetcg
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by neednadvice View Post
    Taking away his right not at all. Im not trying to alienate him as a father as he does to me. My son came home to me friday telling me his father told him to say he was scared of me. He is putting things in his head using him against me. Him the primary care giver for what 3 monthes. I was a navy wife and took care of this child ALONE WITH NO HELP for monthes at a time because the father went to sea when he was only for 4 days old...talk about primary care giver.I WAS IT FOR 3 1/2 YRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    In the eyes of the impartial (as we try to be and a court does to) all we see is you trying to take a child away from a man who loves him.

    By the way - using the basis that your husband was away serving the country as a reason to consider yourself a better parent than he is not going to win you friends here or in court.

    Like we've said - get a lawyer and hold your breath... because most courts are going to see things the same way we do...
  • Feb 2, 2009, 06:23 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by neednadvice View Post
    Taking away his right not at all. Im not trying to alienate him as a father as he does to me. My son came home to me friday telling me his father told him to say he was scared of me. He is putting things in his head using him against me. Him the primary care giver for what 3 monthes. I was a navy wife and took care of this child ALONE WITH NO HELP for monthes at a time because the father went to sea when he was only for 4 days old...talk about primary care giver.I WAS IT FOR 3 1/2 YRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I see a lot of anger here and I believe the Court will see the same thing. I'm not saying it's not justified but I am saying it will hurt you.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...rt-311642.html
  • Feb 2, 2009, 06:29 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    The simple truth
    1. father is not a danger
    2. father is involved in the child's life
    3. fathers right to see the child on a regular schedule will not be stopped

    I think at least this poster and maybe both parents need to go back to a parenting class to learn to do what is in the best interest of the child.

    Moving a child far away from a father that wants to be part of that child's life is not and never will be in that child's best interest.

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