How to make a new relationship work after breaking up?
So.. here goes.. my story is quite complicated and long so be sure u have time to read as I'm searching for a specific answer I'm writing down all the details... :
Ive been going out with Mr.X for 3years now.. I considered him not only as my lover but also as my best friend.. problem was he was really jealous and we would use to fight a lot over the stupidest things and eventually I couldn't take it anymore but I ddnt do anthing yet...
Im not the type that enjoys going out a lot.. most importantly because I am used to the same people but in summer.. I met some new people different perspectives like a new world that's when I decided I needed change.. and so I broke up with him
but it wasn't like we ddnt talk on the contrary we would always talk.. so the pressure/tension never really went.. he would always see who I was talking to what we were talking about etc.. It was so annoying that I began to erase my msg's my phone history and then..
2months ago I started talking again to an old friend Mr.T.. who 2years ago was in love with me.. -Mr X. hated him- and we grew closer.. and my feelings started developing towards him while the feelings for mr.X were slowly fading.. even my physical attachment had "worn out".. and so I started seeing mr.T more and more often and eventually we got together (physically) he makes me happy at least he respects me and makes me feel like a "princess".. but its kind of a hidden relationship I haven't told mr.X (of course not hed kill me) but I've been working for the last month on being more and more distant.. and I told him I loved him a lot less (mr.X) and that he has to get used to the idea that I may be going out with other guys.. he wasn't very "fond" of my decisions and we stopped talking..
up until 2 weeks ago I saw him spending all his time with another girl.. and I found out that they talked 24h but he told everyone that he considered her as a sister and wasn't ready to get in another relationship.. I could see him really happy with her and when I asked him about her he told me she reminded him a lot of me etc.. And how he has so much fun with her.. never had I seen him so happy..
now this is where I start to feel jealous and start regreetting my decisions.. I used to say our differences were irreparable (some still are) but now I realise he's changed a lot (positively).. but in the same time I'm really happy with mr.T.. And mr.X has stopped talking to me like before.. I thought this is what I wanted when we broke up but seeing him move on with this "sister" of his just makes my heart ache I mean we've been together for what.. 3years I can't help but feel really lost when I'm not with him.. he loved me so much and I rejected him... he was one of those persons that always wanted what was best for you and that wasn't enough for me.. I know I'm not supposed to compare but.. ARGH its so hard.. he was my "home" my everything my family and putting all differences aside I can't imagine myself without him taking part in my life.. and I can't pressure mr.T into being mr.X its just not fair.. I act with T like I used to do with X but I'm always deceived... at the same time I just don't want to go back with X but I can't seem to let him go to try and make the relationship with T work and maybe I don't.. what should I do??
p.s: mr.X is hurting -because he knows I "have a thing" fot T but can't seem to understand I'm not over him- and that KILLS me I feel so bad he doesn't deserve it.. and I call him from time to time but he doesn't seem to want to talk..
Help..