Ask Me Help Desk - Child Custody.

I have a three year old daughter. Her father has not been in her life since she was two years old. He has never helped me out financially either. My daughter was born in California. When I left her father he tried to kill me and I went to a domestic violence shelter. While I was in the shelter I got a restraining order on the father. In the restraining order he was ordered to attend a 52 week battery program and drug rehab. Full custody was also granted to me with no visitations from the father. He was not allowed to see my daughtr until he completed all of these programs and paid me child support, which has never happened and I am sure never will. A year later I moved to the state of Alabama with my daughter. The restraining order is now invalid since I moved out of the state and it is also expired because it was granted for 3 years and it has been a little over three years. The other day I received a phone call from my daughter's father threatening me that he was going to come out here and take her from me. He doesn't know where I live or anything. I am not even sure how he got my number since none of my information is listed. I don't think that he will come all the way out here to try to take her because he is running from the law and I would call the cops on him immediately and he knows that. My concern is that neither one of us have custody of our daughter now that the restraining order is non void.

I need to know what process I need to take to get full custody established to protect me and my daughter. I live in Huntsville, AL. My friends have told me to go to a lawyer, but I don't have the money to pay a lawyer. I work two jobs and go to school full-time right now as it is just to pay all of my bills and I can't afford any more expenses. Does anyone have any advice? I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANB428

I have a three year old daughter. Her father has not been in her life since she was two years old. he has never helped me out financially either. My daughter was born in California. When I left her father he tried to kill me and I went to a domestic violence shelter. While I was in the shelter I got a restraining order on the father. In the restraining order he was ordered to attend a 52 week battery program and drug rehab. Full custody was also granted to me with no visitations from the father. A year later I moved to the state of Alabama with my daughter. The restraining order is now invalid since I moved out of the state and it is also expored because it was granted for 3 years. The other day I received a phone call from my daughter's father threatening me that he was going to come out here and take her from me. He doesn't know where I live or anything. I am not even sure how he got my number since none of my information is listes. I don't think that he will come all the way out here to try to take her because he is running from the law and I would call the cops on him immediately and he knows that. My concern is that neither one of us have custody of our daughter now that the restraining order is non void.

I need to know what process I need to take to get full custody established to protect me and my daughter. I live in Huntsville, AL. My friends have told me to go to a lawyer, but I don't have the money to pay a lawyer. I work two jobs and go to school full-time right now as it is just to pay all of my bills and I can't afford any more expenses. Does anyone have any advice? I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

I don't know how long you have lived in Alabama and whether you have established residency. By all means report the call to the Police as threatening, perhaps harassing. Then go to the Family Court in your area and ask to speak to Intake and explain the situation. If you do nothing else, get it on record.

Custody and a restraining order are two different things - has there EVER been a custody hearing, support hearing, visitation hearing and/or Order - ?

No, the only thing that has ever been established was the restraining order that is non valid. I have been out here for about 2 1/2 years now. How do I find out where Family Court is? Do I need to make an appointment?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANB428

No, the only thing that has ever been established was the restraining order that is non valid. I have been out here for about 2 1/2 years now. How do I find out where Family Court is? Do I need to make an appointment?

It will be part of your County Court system. A call to your local County Courthouse - or the closest County Courthouse - will get the info for you. In most places you do not need an appointment because people go there to file papers on an almost emergency basis.

I don't want you to post any more info here - you never know who might be reading the site. When you go to the Police - and they will probably tell you you are over reacting but at least you'll have a record if ANYTHING happens and you need them - ask them who handles these matters in Family Court.

And no matter what, keep yourself and your child safe. You HAVE established residency and so you are good from that angle.

And, again, first make sure you're safe by notifying the proper authorities and then doing what you can. At first I'm sure it will be frustrating for you but you have to get a record of this and then make certain your child is protected. Keeping your child now is a lot easier than getting him/her back if the father decides to be stupid.

And we see these posts all the time - about 95% of them never show up and never call again. I would say maybe 1% of the people who threaten actually do anything. But that is nothing to count on, just a little bit of personal assurance.

If you have a problem with ANY of this, post again and someone will answer you.

Stay strong!

In one line you say you got full custody,a and in another you say there was ever custody established.

1. you have to go to family court and get a actual court order giving custody, You will or should have an attorney, check for the nearest legal aid society if you are low income.

2. no, paying child support and rights to visit have nothing to do with each other, I do not believe there is such a order in place

3. is there even a child support order in place, if you have never gotten a custody order, I don't believe there is a child support order in place either.

Go to the county court house in your area, and they direct you to the correct office.

In Alabama I don't think they have family court. In Calif its actually called that " Family Court ". If you ask your local police where you go for divorces and custody matters they can tell you. In some states it's a DA's office that handles it.

Administrative Office of Courts

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

in one line you say you got full custody,a nd in another you say there was ever custody established.

1. you have to go to family court and get a actual court order giving custody, You will or should have an attorney, check for the nearest legal aid society if you are low income.

2. no, paying child support and rights to visit have nothing to do with each other, I do not beleive there is such a order in place

3. is there even a child support order in place, if you have never gotten a custody order, I don't beleive there is a child support order in place either.

Go to the county court house in your area, and they direct you to the correct office.

Child support and custody were granted through the restraining order. He was ordered to pay me $251 a month. I know that there is an order for child support because Orange County has a record of it. I have talked to them about it. They keep telling me that they can't find him to serve him papers, whatever that means. I have given them address after address of where he has been. When I was on welfare for a couple of months they said that when I start receiving child support they will take out what they have given me and then after that is paid off I will receive the money. He has not paid anything and probably won't. I am not even really worried about child support, I have been doing it this long with out him, I will do whatever I have to do to provide for my daughter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANB428

Child support and custody were granted through the restraining order. He was ordered to pay me $251 a month. I know that there is an order for child support because Orange County has a record of it. I have talked to them about it. They keep telling me that they can't find him to serve him papers, whatever that means. I have given them address after address of where he has been. When I was on welfare for a couple of months they said that when I start receiving child support they will take out what they have given me and then after that is paid off I will receive the money. He has not paid anything and probably won't. I am not even really worried about child support, I have been doing it this long with out him, I will do whatever I have to do to provide for my daughter.

I can never believe the differences between States - in NY a restraining order is just that. A retraining order. Any other form of relief comes through another branch of the Court through another motion.

I still think the appropriate venue is where you are presently living and have established a residence.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I can never believe the differences between States - in NY a restraining order is just that. A retraining order. Any other form of relief comes through another branch of the Court through another motion.

I still think the appropriate venue is where you are presently living and have established a residence.

Yea, it didn't sound right to me either. But, on the restraining order it states custody and child support. But, now I am not in that state anymore.