Recently I went away for a three-week course in another city, and since I got back my perception of everything in my life seems different. Not in a bad way - just different - so I am curious to know if anyone else has ever felt like this too.

For example, I've always had hang-ups about my weight (I'm a woman so of course I have I guess) and have always thought I am fat since I was a teenager. I would look in the mirror and see a fat person. Now, when I look in the mirror or at photos of myself I look thin, despite being exactly the same size. It's really strange to me.

Also, I was living with my boyfriend and happy with our relationship, but when I got back I just didn't find him attractive or interesting anymore, so now after two weeks of awkwardness I have left him. And I used to read a lot about careers, and waste hours every week worrying about the future and what I would do when I finish my PhD, but now I don't feel worried anymore. I just want to read fun things like novels and learn about my PhD topic. I feel fine, and friends have commented that I look unusually happy, but find it strange that I feel like I came home to somebody else's life. Has anyone ever had this?

I have had more than one of those in my personal journey and some even more strange stuff too (floodlight awarenesses, bliss attacks, etc LOL) but I was actively engaged in self improvement efforts at the time.

I think its just some sort of growth spurt that allows us to jump suddenly to the next level. They say that healing is hard, but what is actually hard about it is all the resisting we do up until the very moment we stop resisting and when we finally do give that up, consciously or subconsciously, its suddenly not only remarkably easy but inconceivable looking back that we were even stuck back there.

What may be more odd here is that you can't seem to connect to how you did it. I would guess that you were apparently "working on it" in the background somewhere. It sounds like you are now seeing things more accurately and so perhaps you finally let go of some old filter that served you well but you had outgrown so it had been warping your perception. Or that you have reclaimed some part of yourself that you were forced to abandon or hide at one time-- you certainly sound more in charge of you! If that is indeed it, how fortunate for you, since many people have to work hard with the help of a professional to achieve that. You might try asking yourself as you fall asleep to know more about it and then pay attention to what you dream? Just a thought but I know we can tap into the subconscious parts of ourselves more easily in dreams sometimes.

Whatever it is, enjoy!

Sounds like a good thing to me. My experience has been that a break from the day to day routine and in a new place gives a lot of new perspective, outlook etc, My guess is that whatever changes have taken places were "right on the surface" anyway and ready to pop.

Best to you... jonB

Sorry about my nonsensical comment. I accidentally bumped the enter button on my keyboard and so my comment went up unfinished.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for replying. I felt a bit silly asking the question, but I had been worrying that perhaps I was a little crazy to be seeing everything in a different way. It was nice to see that wasn't how I came across. Especially with regard to my boyfriend - I felt really bad breaking up with him since he hadn't done anything wrong, and everyone else was a bit shocked by that, but I feel better about it now.

As to why it happened, I think it was just that I spent so much time talking to other people when I was away. I find social contact really affects me, even though I'm a dyed-in-the-wool introvert. I made a good friend, whom I've been talking to everyday since. So it may have been just that...

The fact that you were away for 3 weeks is very INTERESTING given that it takes exactly 21 days to develop or stop any new behavior... habit... addiction.

Funny you did not mention what the class was about.

Yes people do grow at any age. It is good that you see yourself differntly from time to time. As for relationships. They either thrieve and grow synergisticaly WITH us or they wither and die. And since this relationship was between two adults; it seems perfectly fine that it went South.

All my best.

Kate