It all started last month, when this girl showed up at my campus. We had many classes together before hand but we never really noticed eachother: college can be very big and intimidating at times. The moment I saw her I knew I had to approach her, so without even thinking I did. I sat down at her table and just like we were old friends we started chatting. At first she was focused on her studies (as it turned out we had many of the same classes) so I went about studying as well. In what seemed like no time she started asking me questions, and before I knew it we were hitting it off. I know it may sound very cliché but she truly is the woman of my dreams! We have so much in common, not only with tangible things but our personality and character as well. We both come from similar homes, have similar world views, and love talking to each other. She told me that she was shy, and that's why she kept to herself; I confided that I too was shy and such. Today we went out for lunch, and I thought things were going GREAT. I thought that all of the years of dating duds had finally paid off!! I can't even begin to describe the way I feel about her!. As we were returning to class she mentioned what soon would be the downfall of everything... her boyfriend of two years. What do I do? Ive been in this situation before, where I meet a girl that has a boyfriend so I just back off, but I can't wrap my head around letting her go! She's too perfect and I feel that if I let it be I will never have a chance at all... Should I play hard to get? Or just leave her alone? Please help!!

Sincerely,
Mr. Too late

Just be her friend... I'd friends in similar situations and the girls usually don't leave their long term boyfriend.

If you really love her, you have to decide to be her "friend" with out hoping they will split, because if that is what you hope it would be truly ill advised to be her friend.

IF you love her, you will let go, and let her be happy. I to have this situation, where I found the girl I've wished I could have met so many times before, but the girls end up being the same, "lets go party!" Blah. Any way I met a girl, and I am madly in love with her, and she askes me to house sit for her, and watch her animals which are like her babies. I take care of them as if they were mine, but not because I want to feel close to her. I do that because I love her, and want her to be happy. I am not suffering when I do this, so long as I keep in mind that she is my friend, no more. I give her any advise she askes, and I huge her if she needs it. She in turn gives me hope that there is another girl out there, who is just as if not more amazing than her. Remember, you have not met ever women in the world, so how do you know there won't be "better love next time, Baby." - Dr.hook Haha, sorry bro, I had to.

It is hard at first, loving her so much, then knowing she loves some one else then shares the details, but if you love her. You let go, and be there to help them keep faith in the Man they love, even if you think you can love her better. Because in her eyes, no you can't... While talking to my friend I go on hikes, walks at night to watch the stars, TV nights, and any thing I'd do with any girl. If I wouldn't do it for another girl, I some times say I can't; if only to a voide me feeling used.

It OK dude, there are more girls out there, and you never know when you'll meet her. Best you can do, be kind, happy, caring, active, and willing.

Good luck brother, for we both make our own luck. ;)

Peace be with you

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Originally Posted by odilians10

just be her friend...i'd friends in similar situations and the girls usually dont leave their long term bf.

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Yeah that seems to be the most suitable answer. She's only twenty and the guy she is with is the only boyfriend she's ever had and the last thing I want to do is hurt her by causing them any problems. I guess I was just too late in finding her, which sucks because I live in a small town (Graduated with 34 students) so women aren't exactly a dime a dozen, and it seems like every time I meet a half decent one, theyr'e already taken :( Thanks for the advice though I appreciate it!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nestorian

If you really love her, you have to decide to be her "friend" with out hoping they will split, because if that is what you hope it would be truly ill advised to be her friend.

IF you love her, you will let go, and let her be happy. I to have this situation, where i found the girl i've wished i could have met soo many times before, but the girls end up being the same, "lets go party!" Blah. Any way i met a girl, and I am madly in love with her, and she askes me to house sit for her, and watch her animals which are like her babies. I take care of them as if they were mine, but not because i want to feel close to her. I do that because I love her, and want her to be happy. I am not suffering when i do this, so long as i keep in mind that she is my friend, no more. I give her any advise she askes, and i huge her if she needs it. She in turn gives me hope that there is another girl out there, who is just as if not more amazing than her. Remember, you have not met ever women in the world, so how do you know there wont be "better love next time, Baby." - Dr.hook Haha, sorry bro, I had to.

It is hard at first, loving her so much, then knowing she loves some one else then shares the details, but if you love her. You let go, and be there to help them keep faith in the Man they love, even if you think you can love her better. Because in her eyes, no you can't... While talking to my friend i go on hikes, walks at night to watch the stars, TV nights, and any thing I'd do with any girl. If I wouldn't do it for another girl, I some times say I can't; if only to a voide me feeling used.

It ok dude, there are more girls out there, and you never know when you'll meet her. Best you can do, be kind, happy, caring, active, and willing.

Good luck brother, for we both make our own luck. ;)

peace be with you

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The last thing I want to do is cause her any pain, and she has only ever been with this man, even though he treats her like crap, she loves him. She even asked me once if there were any genuinely nice guys left in the world, because she was tired of meeting and putting up with asswholes( I assumed she meant her boyfriend as well). I appreciate your taking the time to relate, it means a lot. I'm sure it's hard, what you do at times, and I am positive that my journey will be no less difficult, but I don't want to lose her completely from my life, and your right, if I found ONE girl like her, there is bound to be at least one more like her! Lets just hope that when I find her she's single! Lol

Regards,

Mr. byahare

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amorfatis

The last thing I want to do is cause her any pain, and she has only ever been with this man, even though he treats her like crap, she loves him. She even asked me once if there were any genuinely nice guys left in the world, because she was tired of meeting and putting up with asswholes( I assumed she meant her bf as well). I appreciate your taking the time to relate, it means alot. I'm sure it's hard, what you do at times, and I am positive that my journey will be no less difficult, but I dont want to lose her completely from my life, and your right, if I found ONE girl like her, there is bound to be at least one more like her! lets just hope that when I find her she's single! lol

regards,

Mr. byahare

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Move on . She is currently dating someone else, no use wasting your time. I am sure you can find a lot of other women who are single.

True, she put the fact of her having a boyfriend right out there. Therefore, she most likely isn't going to leave him for you. However, you can have a really good friendship. Cherish that instead.

You made a friend, doesn't mean you have to be around her all the time though.

Keep your life balanced, and don't get carried away by those intense feelings.

Yes, enjoy the friendship, but keep a healthy emotional distance for yourself.

Girls with boyfriends are not available. Period.

She should not have gone out with you. Maybe she felt the connection too, but she was honest and told you that she was with someone. Therefore, you shouldn't pursue her or try to come between her and her boyfriend.

Don't let her cheat on him with you. That just sets a precedent for the future.

If you follow that rule (Girls with boyfriends/husbands/significant others are not available), you'll do well in life.