Hi.. I split up few monhts ago with my boyfriend and I am still here crying over it and as asking myself lot of questions.
He is a nice person but very different in the character. I am very open and like to talk about feelings and he is the opposite , very closed and it's v difficult to understand how he feels.
This is not the main problem we had. The split was caused by a sequence of things. First he wants to travel and go around the world with his job and during the time we were together he was talking about lot of his future plans and I was never considered part of it.
He is very selfish with his feelings and I was always left last after his job, friends, life..
I wanted to build something together and he did not seem to be in the same set of mind.
He is a nice person however during our relationship I managed to destroy myself esteem and followed him in his ideas.. until a point where I could not take anymore.
He has not been in a close relationship before and for him it is normal to be with someone even if living far from eachothers and it is also normal to be living his life with no compromise with his girlfriend at all.
Since we split up I feel like the world has collapsed. I cannot stop thinking about him, what he is doing, if he has met someone else.. etc etc..
He is very focused on his career and this also made me compare myself to him making me feel very small for not making a career like he is doing.
How do I stop thnking about him and move on with my life?how do I gain back myself confidence?

Hi cotoletta... relationships are always hard to take when they break up, but eventually you will move on. You sound like a lovely heart warming person to me and quite frankly judging by the information that you have posted ,it was never for you... it needs two people on the same wave length wanting and aming for the same goals in life, your ex-boyfriend is for himself and no one else will stop him doing what he wants to do it seems.

I'm sorry to say that this relationship was never going to work, even though your hurting now, it's better that it ends now rather than a few years down the line when maybe there could have been little ones to consider.

My dear do not waste another single tear on a man who is totally wrapped up in his own existence... do you honestly think that's what he is doing?. no ofcoarse not he'll be enjoying himself and you must do the same.

You need to pick yourself up and have a girly night out, I know you don't feel like it, but dress to kill... face, hair, makeup the works, look in the mirror tell yourself how gorgeous you are and that it's his loss, I'm sure lots of lads would value your company on their arm, so come on... go girl

[Hi Orphan.. thank you for your lovely words... I appreciate the energy you trasmit with this answer and I do agree with what you wrote.
It is always harder when you see things inside but I truly believe that from outside things look different and are actually easier that what it looks to me.
It hurts me more as my ex is actually a nice person but he was never taught how to open up and he did admit that he keeps his feelings inside closed in a little bubble so that he does not get hurt.
I had a not so easy life with my family and I think that made me look for affection and love in my partner.
I never wanted him to solve my problems but in a relationship I want to be able to share problems and just listen to him or be listened.. and feel that the person I love is there close to me.
He clearly said to me that he cannot deal with problems and wants an easy life and he is living his life escaping from every problem he might come across.
I don't want to live life running away from it.. but facing it to make it better..
He looks always a relaxed and happy person.. and in a way I envy him for been able to switch off from everything that might hurt him outside.
We both had our bad situation in our families and until now I put them on a side.. this is the first year that I decided to face those problems which are very old and try to improve my living.
He is on the other hand.. doing what I used to.. push bad on a side and surrounding himself of people to go out partying.
The people he surrounds himself with are mostly people who are never there when he really needs but look for him only when need to go out drinking... and I ask myself.. why do they have priority to me even I'm always there wanting to give him a shoulder and build something with him?
Once again a probably very silly question... but I cannot stop tourturing myself with those.
I know life can be much worse and at the end of it I am a lucky person.. I have a job, friends and health... and I am realising now that I put that person as a priority in my life forgetting myself.
I don't feel like going out partying and even less finding an other guy.
Not until I get rid of my feelings for my ex.
I don't want to hurt anyone.. and I am not ready to give to someone the way I love to.

QUOTE=0rphan;1509171]Hi cotoletta... relationships are always hard to take when they break up, but eventually you will move on. You sound like a lovely heart warming person to me and quite frankly judging by the information that you have posted ,it was never for you... it needs two people on the same wave length wanting and aming for the same goals in life, your ex-boyfriend is for himself and no one else will stop him doing what he wants to do it seems.

I'm sorry to say that this relationship was never going to work, even though your hurting now, it's better that it ends now rather than a few years down the line when maybe there could have been little ones to consider.

My dear do not waste another single tear on a man who is totally wrapped up in his own existence... do you honestly think that's what he is doing?. no ofcoarse not he'll be enjoying himself and you must do the same.

You need to pick yourself up and have a girly night out, I know you don't feel like it, but dress to kill... face, hair, makeup the works, look in the mirror tell yourself how gorgeous you are and that it's his loss, I'm sure lots of lads would value your company on their arm, so come on... go girl[/QUOTE]