Originally Posted by
ultimate_user_name
I'm 16 years old, and over the past 2-3 years I've had what would normally be a "traumatizing" home life. My father, who I was extremely close to my whole life, had a relapse (drugs[mostly painkillers] and alcohol), cheated on my mom (alot), was in a car accident, and went to jail (not very long).
All-in-all it should have been a huge slap in the face, a colossal shift from a loving father to "some guy" with drinking problems. But I never once cried, or shared any emotions with my mother or friends. I felt like I had a good idea of what was going on, and I didn't need to talk to anyone, people are always trying to reach out when they should just back off and look at their own weaknesses.
Several people have tried to comfort me with religion, but I couldn't see any evidence that God or some spirit was coming into play at all, or that Christianity was any more "correct" than any of the other religions mankind has invented in the thousands of years of existence, so that just bounced off too.
In fact, for the past several years, I've begun feeling extremely "distant" from people. My parents just seem like people, not "mom and dad", and I'm very analytical towards them, I feel like they could have done a lot better with me, and a lot better with their lives.
Last year when we moved, I didn't feel sad at all about leaving my friends I had known for years, many of which I know were pained to see me go. In fact, the last time I saw them, I almost forgot to say bye. It just bounced off of me, I had about the same emotions running through my head as when you go to mail something at the post office, it was just part of what I did that day, nothing more, nothing less.
And it happens with all the people in my life, they just seem like people: friends, relatives, anyone that ever tries to get close to me gets shut down, it just strikes me as pathetic. I can always see right through what they're trying to do, and it doesn't seem genuine when you know what's going on. Nothing strikes me as "tragic" or even sad, deaths in the family, problems with my mother and father, or anything else, I see it, and then I just look at something else, it doesn't even phase me. I can never comfort anyone either, other peoples emotions always seem awkward and trivial, I'll put up with them, but I just want to get away as soon as I can.
Any help?