My ex and I broke up July 9th. We had dated five months. While we were breaking up he told me things didn't feel "right" - he said he liked the way things were when we first began dating (we had an amazing four months!). He said he still cared about me and that we'd have to see how things go in the fall when we got back to school (we're in college and had a long distance relationship over this summer) to see if we will get back together or not. I was completely heart broken, mostly because I knew he was interested in another girl (who he has been dating since we broke up). We haven't spoken since we broke up almost a month ago. I miss him a lot. Originally, I thought that if I didn't call him, he would start to miss me and call me... to at least see how I am doing. Nope, nothing. Soon we will have gone a month without talking... it makes me sad.. this is the longest we've gone without talking since we met. Not even a text message. I'll be back to school August 12th. Once I get back, should I call him or wait for him to call me? Part of me is telling me that IF he cared, wanted to see how I was doing, or missed me... he would contact me. The other part of me keeps making "excuses" for him. How long should I not contact him? How do I make him miss me?

I just don't understand how you can be with someone for five months and not miss them at all after you break up...

I say this as gently as possible to you... its over since you did break up. The possibility of getting back together is remote at best. Even if you did, there is all that "what did you do while away from me" part, ugh. Its not really possible to take a "summer off" from a relationship and still have a relationship at the end of it! I think its really really unkind to let someone wait for you because you lack the courage to tell them the truth or you are so confused yourself that you want them waiting in the wings "just in case". I think he has been this unkind to you and that would be enough to end it for me right there, frankly. He shouldn't have dished it out like that and you shouldn't have accepted it either. Being vague is not a way to be polite when it comes to matters of the heart. Its been my observation that we are only seeing the tip of the iceberg of questionable behavior too, just in case you want to still tell yourself how wonderful he is. He was wonderful for a while and now its over and that is the reality you need to be supported in dealing with... and I am sorry if that seems harsh. It is not only important but kind to tell the truth, in my book.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by summer718

I just don't understand how you can be with someone for five months and not miss them at all after you break up...

---

How... is that he wasn't that interested all along or began interested and lost it along the way without reflecting that openly to you. Either way, he is likely something of a phoney or you really misread him. I would guess the first condition since I don't see you making many flights into fantasy here.

I don't think you should contact him again. It will only cause you more unnecassary pain and suffering.
You have to move on for now. Go out, enjoy your time at school, meet new people, work on yourself. Make YOU happy. Don't worry about him.
He obviously isn't worthy of you so rather than sit around moping and waiting for him to come back, get on with things. You'll find someone that is more committed to you and wouldn't treat you like this.

I know it is hard. It is extremely hard to move on from someone you have feelings for. But kep up the no contact and work on yourself and in the menatime you might just be surprised that someone even better comes along.

Kepp smiling and enjoying your youth. You'll be fine.
Don't contact him though. I know from expereince that it just hurts too much and you don't get the answers your looking for!

5 months really isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things. To him you were unfortunately probably just a fling. Not a nice realization to come to, I know. Frankly I'd just move on and forget about him. Start your new school year, make new friends and throw yourself into your studies. Seek out opportunities for co-op, internship, overseas study ; whatever floats your boat.

It hurts now, but as the others have said doing things you like and getting on with your life will definitely benefit you, and before you know it things will be better.

Iwill have to agree, break ups are hard, but esp for relationships over the summer, when one or both go back home, they see old friends, go out with old bf/gf and things happen. I am sorry it can be painful