Is it right for my wife of 11 years to want to go out to a dancing club or bar with her co-workers without me. Reason I ask is because on one occasion that she went I didn't feel right about something so I took a drive to the club.when I walked in I saw my wife sitting at the table talking to another guy who was her co-worker.and her girlfriends were on the other side of the table.I was upset so I left and she happened to see me walk out so she followed me out and said nothing was going on and that I was overreacting.she said that she likes to "get away" from me and hour 4 kids once in a while to have a break.

I would accept your wife's response to be true. Just because she had been talking to another guy, it is her co-worker and there is nothing wrong with talking to a member of the opposite sex in a social way. Giving her the space to have her own social life will be both beneficial to her and your marriage. It gives her time to breath, relax and release tensions. You will find that she will appreciate you giving her this time in a trusting way. Acting jealous and resentful will only infringe on her basic human needs and create resentment towards you. In other words, let the girl have some fun and get off her back about it and she will be a better person for you.

I have trouble with bars and drinking in general, that is almost always how bad stories start, ** I was out drinking and>>>>>

Now does she need time out with friends once and a while, yes,
So issues how often is this,

Is it for a hour or two after work a couple times a month, or is it till 3 in the morning and/or happening a couple times a week

Isn't marriage supposed to invole trust every 1 needs to have some fun once in a while unless she's a big drinker if she is then I don't blame you for not trusting her

If that's all you have, you got nothing.

All right here is my thoughts. I am married and also have four children. My wife is an amazing person, she stays at home during the day with the kids while I work. When I get home she goes to work as a waitress. She also is going to school on line.

Seeing that your you and your wife have four kids and see works as-well there is no question she needs her time to get away.

But and you knew this was coming. She needs to do thin in a responsible manner. It is NEVER a good Idea you're your wife to go out drinking in with out you. I believe if you put yourself in bad situations bad things can happen no matter how much you love one one another.

There is other ways she can get out and get a release with out going out and drinking. This is a subject close to my heart. I have posted on ear before with a situation like yours but much much worse.

Bottom line I would lay it on the line to your wife that she does need her time with friends. However there is a right way and wrong way to do so. A married woman wit four kids should not be out in clubs at night without her husband period.

I can list the ways for her to go out like movies, shopping, Hobie's etc. But we all know what is a good idea and is not.

You need to talk to her lay it on the line and see how she handles it. That will tell you a lot. If she rejects your ideas and blowes up you may have a problem. When I did the same with my wife she was very understating. That went a long way. Try it see her reaction.