Hi.. I am wondering! How can I know who is being selfish during the sex? I am 20 yrs old and had have sex only for 4 times! With my lover! And bcoz of my country which is arab country we shouldn't have sex at all and until now we had 4 times sex.. it was great we both loved it.. but until now I can't figure because of the lil' experience I have that how to know is he in charge or am I during sex? People if you may replay to me and tell me things about if he is the one in control or signs if I am the one in control of the sex.. or if even our sex is good and both parts are equal at doing things? :o

There should be no one in control. That is not healthy behaviour. If you feel he and you are both fulfilled with your sex life then stop thinking like this.

Be nearer to the ethics & traditions. Gr8ly it will help you and your next generations

THe best sex is when BOTH partners are equally aware of and care about the needs of the other. When either of you start thinking "ME" there is a problem... you should both be thinking "WE".

Culture means nothing here, it's the same Eastern or western, Christian or Muslim.. The best sex is when both people get all they need together.

"Smokey"(my nickname for him) gave a good answer, in my opinion.

You will know you are at the *beginning*(all the rest was prologue) of your personal sexual journey when you go to bed *NOT* THINKING you are only there the please him. Think-you are there to get yours---how? Depending on the mood you are in. Perhaps, wild and dominating, or quiet and sensitive, or many other emotional moods. Perhaps, you are just able to service your husband because of exhaustion from a busy day. All kinds of sexual encounters.

Men love a woman who takes what she needs... that requires shedding a people pleaser worldview and getting in touch with your real animal passion. :)

I think that comes with age and maturity.

My opinions. :)

Hey guys.. thank you for the answers I think you are right but I thought because of my li' experience that there is a difference between men and women and from what I read in adult sexuality section here I thought there is no "WE" and only "ME" for him and me! So I got worried.. thank you for the replays