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-   -   Girlfriend wants to take a break (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=307297)

  • Jan 22, 2009, 03:21 PM
    Grahamw44
    Girlfriend wants to take a break
    Kind of new to this so bear with me. Last Thursday my girlfriend just exploded and said she wanted a break. She said she wanted to take break, because she wanted to experience the rest of her high school. She said she that I am so amazing and a really great boyfriend, but she thinks she should do this over what she wants to do. You know I use to cook dinner for her, give her flowers every now and then when she was having a bad day and help move back forth from her parents houses. She also says she still really likes me and cares about me and she still wants to hang out and talk. She says she just wants to be friends and that she doesn't when we are going to get back together because she doesn't want to promise anything... because she can't predict the future. So I talk to her about it and told her I am glad we did this , because I am going to be busy with school and work... so I don't need a girlfriend. I told that I can't just be her friend and she told me... OK well lets just not call it anything. I guess she meant together but not together. I told that I think she is a really cool girl and that I have a lot of fun with and that If I had to choose If we got back together I would want to. She told me I am a really good guy and that she has a lot of fun and that's why she doesn't want to lose me. So I told that maybe after two months we get try to get back together and she agreed. I think I should still make my seem busy and not every call/text/email/etc. and I should prepare for the worse and hope for the best.

    Oh by the way we have been together for 5 months and she is a senior in high school and I am a freshman in college.

    Anyone have some advice for a way to go about this or any advice for the situation?
  • Jan 22, 2009, 03:22 PM
    mum2five

    Give he the space she needs and time will tell
  • Jan 22, 2009, 03:45 PM
    GOODDAY

    Respect her wishes
  • Jan 22, 2009, 03:47 PM
    mum2five

    There are lots of other threads that relate to this perhaps if you read a few you would be able to gain some great advice x
    Best Wishes
  • Jan 22, 2009, 03:54 PM
    nike 1
    Just keep doing what your doing. Act like it doesn't bother you at all. You will have better chances that way then being upset or acting like you care. Girls really get a kick out of a guy who acts like he cares about the relationship when they suddenly want to end it, and it doesn't usually work out in the guys favor. So don't give her the pleasure of thinking she's so worth all that.
  • Jan 22, 2009, 05:03 PM
    logan176

    Don't take this the wrong way, but if she wants a break to experience the rest of high school, then she's probably not into you. If she was... she'd make the time. As long as you're not jealous and overbearing, the only thing in high school she can't experience when she's in a relationship is flirting or messing around with other guys without you getting pissed.

    With that being said, if I've learned anythings it's to not burn bridges. Because hell, if my first line of thought is wrong and you do burn that bridge, you'll have no chance with her in the future. Or... even worse... she could tell her hot friends to stay away from you! Trust me, it's a small world. I'm married now and I still somehow bump into an ex every few months.

    I'd give her space and don't call her all the time. Just treat her like any other FRIEND. And if another girl comes along, DON'T TURN THE NEW GIRL AWAY in the hopes that waiting will bring the old one around. You're a freshman in college and you'll be meeting lots of girls and a bunch of them will actually be girlfriend material.
  • Jan 22, 2009, 05:19 PM
    child4ever
    Sounds like she is thinking about both of your situations. Usually when I tell a guy "I can't predict the future" what I mean is that I don't see us being together in the future. But you never know.I would say go out,have a good time and don't worry about anything. Freshman in college, you will bemeeting all kinds of great girls.
  • Jan 22, 2009, 05:49 PM
    talaniman

    Accept its over and take the good memories and fun times with you, but do move on, as I doubt she wants to get back together.

    Quote:

    So I told that maybe after two months we get try to get back together and she agreed.
    She agreed to put an end to the conversation, you need to know that, and not have false hope she will have changed her mind and is ready to get back together in 2 months, so don't wait for that to happen, it wont.

    Even treating her nice she still had a change of heart ( not at all unusual for high school age girls ) so don't take it personally. Move on and enjoy the college life and good luck with your studies.
  • Jan 22, 2009, 06:30 PM
    Grahamw44

    Idk I am confused. I am acting like it's a break up and she asked me to hang out last night. I mean if you guys say she is giving me a hint that she doesn't want to get back together with me. Then why is she saying she doesn't want to lose me? Or is the just to keep me around so when she doesn't have a guy she can just play around with me?
  • Jan 22, 2009, 06:44 PM
    logan176

    Whether she's doing it on purpose or not, she's probably keeping you as a back up plan. Go along with it, but don't expect anything and don't burn bridges.
  • Jan 22, 2009, 07:01 PM
    Grahamw44

    I guess, just seems like I could get played, but girls are like buses another one comes every 10 minutes lol
  • Jan 22, 2009, 08:50 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Grahamw44 View Post
    Idk I am confused. I am acting like its a break up and she asked me to hang out last night. I mean if you guys say she is giving me a hint that she doesn't want to get back together with me. Then why is she saying she doesn't want to lose me? Or is the just to keep me around so when she doesnt have a guy she can just play around with me?

    It's a way my friend to keep you in her life, and enjoy what she had before, but with the freedom to explore if something does come up. Your broken up, and free to date someone else, as she is. Until you get to see for yourself the confusion this will cause you, you will never be able to get the emotional dust to settle, where you can see for yourself, that leaving her alone is the thing to do. This allows you both to heal, and move on.

    Her feelings have changed from the romantic ones, to the friend zone ones. She probably thinks your cool with this arrangement so don't be mad, but do what's best for you, not her. This is what No Contact is about.

    Cutting contact gives you a chance to heal, and see things in a realistic way, so you can make good decisions for yourself, based on facts, no just feelings. It works.

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