All right, I will first say that my name is Joe and I have been single for about four years, mainly by choice but also because I am in the military... I am just about done though. This story might be lengthy so please bear with me. Anyway I was at home on leave and met up with a girl that I had known since high school although there was not much contact between us in the past. I asked her to hang out yada yada. We hung out about 4 or 5 times and had a good time together. She was fresh out of a long term relationship (4 years) and I didn't expect much, my intentions were to kind of get in there somewhat and express my interest, but nothing much more than that. The last night we hung out she ended up putting the moves on me and we spent the night together, no sexy time, just kissing. She said that she would hold out for me until I get out which was about 7 months from the time she told me that. She said that she is not one to go out and get with a bunch of guys and is too busy for that kind of stuff. Which I believe, because I know she is not that type of girl... Anyway we had been talking on the phone somewhat and texting back and forth, however, the other night she expressed that she wanted to date and was seeing other people, she told me this because she didn't want to be "wronging" me in any way. I told her that it was obvious that we are at different stages in our lives as far as relationships go and I think it is best that I give her space until I get home and we will see what happens from there. I don't mind that she is dating other people although I am a little irritated at what she said in the past and even after telling me she wants to date others she says that she still means what she said... :confused: anyway, my main question here is since she is so fresh out of a long relationship, should I consider myself a rebound, count my losses and move on? Or should I really consider seeing what happens when I go home? It isn't for another 4 months. Also, with our situation so to speak is it wrong to think that if she wanted it to happen it would happen even considering the small amount of time we hung out and her past relationship? Please help and thanks for reading!!

There are many conflicting old sayings here!

1) Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
2) While the cat is away the mice will play.
3) Far from sight , far from mind.

Try and analyse the above and see what answers you can come up with that fit
Your present and future circumstances.

I wish you luck.

I think the rebound term is a matter of mentality, and how they handle it. I got out of a four year relationship back in August and I can say that I am still not ready to get into another relationship yet, but it is different for everyone. Generally, there has to be some time you give yourself to move on and find out who you are without that person in your life.

It seems as though, right now, she is enjoying "playing the field" and just living the single life, so to speak. You still have four months, and a lot can happen in that time. I wouldn't worry about it, and enjoy whatever comes your way when you return. I cannot predict her progression through this process.

P.S. Thanks for everything you do for this country (I assume you are American).

Carry on... :cool:

Her feelings are understandable, and the reality is your not there. You have put a lot of long term expectations on a stranger, and you have lost nothing, as you really never had it.

Give her the space she needs to deal with life without your influence, and really there is no decision to make, or no action to take.

You see where your at in 4 months. Step back, and understand, casual is cool, but high expectations are not.

Are you down for that, can you be a text buddy, no matter what she decides to do? If not, leave her alone for now.

Hey guys I appreciate the feedback, other opinioins on the matter are always great to hear so keep them coming. It keeps me from losing my mind thinking about it... haha

KC's got it, it's a mental thing. No one knows who or what a rebound really is. Some are easier to tell than others, but in an ideal world everyone takes enough time they need (which is usually more than they think they need) before starting a new relationship. People ignore this just compound the unresolved issues like an annuity of negative energy, and after so many failed relationships become misandrists or misogynists in their mid 30s.

After 9 months, I thought I was over my ex of 2 years, but only recently did I actually talk to her about the problems we had in our relationship and now I feel I've officially closed the book on that one. But on the same token, I feel like I have unresolved issues elsewhere.

Quick story: I wasn't even dating this girl and she was hanging on me like we just got married. She talked about her ex all the time and tried kissing me at the end of the night. It went as quickly as it came which was roughly two weeks.

So she taught me that even acquaintances can be rebounds.