My boyfriend's ex wife keeps telling everyone I hit one of their children. She has told the children it so many times it is one of the first things out of their 3 year olds mouth when I see them. "We can't be around you, you hit "tommy". I have been putting up with this and trying to bite my tongue for about a year. From the first time she started saying this I told everyone Id go take a polygraph to prove I didn't do it. Several lawyers said since no charges were ever filed that I don't have to prove myself. At this point it's not about having to it's that I want to so she'll stop the BS. I spoke to an attorney who said she could ask the judge to put it in writing that I can no longer be around them, IF the judge found evidence of me being mean to them or whatever. I'm afraid at this point if the courts interviewed the kids that since they have been told it so many times by her they believe it now. It's like she's brain washed them, all because she doesn't like me? I don't get it. I'm good to the kids and I love them and want to be around for a long time. What can I do about this if anything??

If you sue you'll have to show damages, what damages have you sustained due to the slander?

As NeedKarma pointed out, you have to have suffered some type of loss and be able to prove it. Of course the ex doesn't like you; you have what she used to have and she(most likely) wants it back.

The next time the kids say something like that to you, ask them when it happened. Obviously, they'll say they don't know because it never occurred. You and your boyfriend have to be the bigger person and teach the kids that lying is not right and won't be tolerated.

Try your hardest not to speak bad about their mother and they'll be able to tell the difference between you, as my stepkids can. They've asked me why Mommy says mean things about Daddy and I when we don't do it to her. Kids are much, much smarter than you think.

It is possible with enough witnesses, you could try and press criminal charges, but they will have to intereview all of the kids to show.

You may hire an attorney to write a threatening letter, sometimes that helps

You may want to confer with a legal representative in your particular jurisdiction and/or do some research as to how your defamation statute is worded.

In some cases damages must be established but could include damage to reputation.

In some other cases damages are assumed and it is the actual act of defamation that must be proven.

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Originally Posted by amylynnc

My boyfriend's ex wife keeps telling everyone I hit one of their children. She has told the children it so many times it is one of the first things out of their 3 year olds mouth when I see them. "We can't be around you, you hit "tommy". I have been putting up with this and trying to bite my tongue for about a year. From the first time she started saying this I told everyone Id go take a polygraph to prove I didn't do it. Several lawyers said since no charges were ever filed that I don't have to prove myself. At this point it's not about having to it's that I want to so she'll stop the BS. I spoke to an attorney who said she could ask the judge to put it in writing that I can no longer be around them, IF the judge found evidence of me being mean to them or whatever. I'm affraid at this point if the courts interviewed the kids that since they have been told it so many times by her they believe it now. It's like she's brain washed them, all because she doesn't like me? I don't get it. I'm good to the kids and I love them and want to be around for a long time. What can I do about this if anything???

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Your question appears to be if you can sue for slander. Here's what I wrote (quoting myself):

Briefly - Generally in law libel refers to permanent/written statements and slander refers to non-permanent/spoken statements. Defamation (of character) covers both categories.

You must be damaged - and prove damages - in order to recover. The statements (either written or spoken) must be false but presented as though they were true and be beyond offensive, derogatory or insulting. Such statement must rise to a level which actually harms a person’s reputation. In general the person making the statement must either know it isn’t true or make the statement without attempting to verify if it is true.

The defense to defamation is that the information was not presented as the truth (which covers gossip), that the information was never secret (privileged) and was always public.