Girl wrongs the guy throughout the whole relationship by lying and taking him for granted and even admits to both, and wants to do whatever it takes to fix those things, but instead starts talking to someone else and ends the relationship and starts dating this other person. Girl tries to contact guy even while seeing the other person, but guy stays NC. Then the relationship between the girl and the other person goes bad, and girl is single again, and increasingly tries to pursue communication with guy again. Girl sends messages and emails that seem as though they could either be taken as friendly or as thoughs she is interested in having guy back. Guy loves the girl, just as he has the whole time, because never wanted the relationship to end and did whatever he could to cope with things she did to him and make it work... and if girl would just come out and say tha she wanted to work on things, then guy could decide from there if he either wanted to pursue something again as long as issues were addressed first, ot totally shut out girl.. but guy continues to stay NC. Despite never getting a response from Guy, Girl writes guy and says that she misses him and hopes to hear from him soon. The is the most in depth thing that girl has said to guy. How is this messages to be perceived? Game? Legit, in that maybe Girl needed to see what she lost to realize what how amazing Guy was?

This was inspired by Jason8676's post about his ex contacting him and it seems to be a rather common situation. The question of this post is at what point do you draw the line between whether a person has learned or is just playing games? Are the words being spoken legit, and how do you determine that? Is there continued attempt to make contact because they realize what they lost now by thinking the grass was greener on the other side of the fence, and want a chance to show that they now see what they had?

Guy would be pretty desperate and somewhat crazy to think girl has changed, and will be good to him.

Q. What do you call a guy who lets girl screw him over, go somewhere else, and wants to pop back in his life, after it doesn't work with someone else??

A. Dumb victim ( better than the unflattering statements I was going to use! )

Quote:

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Are the words being spoken legit, and how do you determine that?

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Facts speak louder than fiction

"lying and taking him for granted"
"starts talking to someone else"
"ends the relationship"
"starts dating this other person"
"Girl tries to contact guy even while seeing the other person"

Quote:

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Is there continued attempt to make contact because they realize what they lost now by thinking the grass was greener on the other side of the fence, and want a chance to show that they now see what they had?

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She is just trying to get back the dufus she can feed crap to, and still love her (ugh!! ), while she finds another dufus, who will take her crap, and stll love her. Ugh again.

Does guy understand how gullible he is??

My advice... step away from whole situation.

Guy should first watch the movie, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" so guy can understand this from an outsider's perspective. Guy should then not act like a doormat and tell the girl to kiss his a$$.

Guy then grows a pair, learns to be a bit more self confident, and eventually finds someone that doesn't treat him like used toilet paper.

Guy lives happily ever after!

Carry on... :cool:

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HaHa...
I was in a similar situation... you could say I was Guy...
I gave my ex everything she could wish for, as well as all the love I could. I think she took me for granted... because, even though she would tell me how she wanted to spend her life with me - when she got to university, she completely changed. She felt uncomfortable in a relationship, had a part of her that wanted to be single and then she started talking to another guy. (I tried to keep things in tact and really wanted to make things work - but it was bizarre.. only a few weeks ago she was talking about how much she loved me and would never leave me, she then got into university and just felt uncomfortable and wanted to be single etc.. )
So... she broke up with me and... yep you guessed it, is now dating that other guy she started talking to (I had to hear this from a mutual friend)... this proved to me she didn't truly love me the same way I loved her.

Well, Im on NC... so have no idea how things are going with her and don't really care. I wish her all the best and Ive left it at that...
If things do go sour with them and she comes running back, telling me she misses me and really loves me... I would never take her back at all! I have learnt so much about myself and relationships and learnt that she didn't truly love me, I have also lost my trust in her.. so she could easily do it again...

Anyway, sorry for rambling on... short answer - NO!. guy would not take girl back, guy would learn from the experience and find someone who will love him the way he can love and give him what he deserves... guy will then live happily and not think about girl.. ever!.
:)