In reading over some threads, I keep seeing "NC" scattered about. I know it means no contact, but what does that entail.. (Ok, I know you're thinking "duh, it means no contact!") What if, for example, the person you are limiting contact with says hi or asks how you are. Does this mean you don't respond? Are you just talking about no meeting up or drunk dialing? Maybe it's a dumb question, but the idea of motivating myself to cut off some contact with my significant other is intriguing. Someone be my informant please?

No phone calls,

No text messages

No emails

You don't answer their calls, do't open their emails, don't look at their text messages.

You try not to go to places they are going

If you pass on the street you can say hi but don't really have to.

I think there is no clear definition of what NC is. I believe though, that NC should be what best works for you---without taking your feelings into account. For example, If I where to be contacted by her I would answer and chat politely without bringing up relationship issues. This is because I know her and don't want to be rude to her. I know she is a kind person who doesn't want to see me suffer more than I need to so a polite chat is only that if you see it objectively. In some other cases, they might be stringing you alone for the ride. I have to say, exes that still keep in touch want exactly that. A friend, a backup, and this is the last thing you want as your pain will take much longer to subside. She is yet to contact me and she seems to be employing NC also. I have removed her (and all mutual friends) from Facebook, deleted her numbers--and her friends, anything that reminds me of her is stored away, blocked on msn, everything I could think of. This, for me, is NC and it's worked well.

After 5 or 6 weeks of it I feel much much better --I am far from getting over her as I think about her frequently and she's in my dreams everynight-- but progress is progress and therefore I recommend anyone that wants to end the pain of a breakup to go NC. After days, weeks, you will find your pain will be reduced and you will heal quicker than if you stayed in contact. NC also lets you have time for yourself and releases your mind of endless hours of thinking and overanalyzing that leads you nowhere. With time you will see things clearer and will be able to make better decisions in your interest and not anyone else's.

Emotional detox... pure and simple.

Pretend as if you were an alcoholic. Imagine going to detox with no contact from alcohol for ever... that is exactly what this is. You are literally training your mind and heart to get used to not having this person in your life anymore

Its important to remember that NC is about you looking after yourself. Its giving yourself a chance to get a clear head and get your emotions in order.

NC is not you not contacting them... but when they contact you, you respond. It means you do not have any contact with them at all. I agree with expat, if my ex contacted me I would just be polite and keep it short and not delve into anything about the relationship or breakup.

It is a tool to allow yourself to heal faster.

No contact = nothing, there doesn't need to be. You need to let yourself heal